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Aug. 4th, 2004 04:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sua_layWoke up from the post-nightshift nap as the glass from my framed FotR picture fell down and shattered. Thank gods no one actually stepped on the shards before I managed to clean the whole thing up.
Should go to gym. Should buy shampoo. Should pack. Bollocks. I'll just lie here on the couch and think about Draco Malfoy's toes.
That reminds me. Spent the night doing paperwork and then watched HP PS and CoS. Am now slightly troubled. Shall not watch them again as long as I write the fic. Head was filled with words like 'silly', 'annoying' and 'dear gods this is stupid'. Will ignore that and just scribble. Or something.
Have to say... Everyone seems to have an unnatural interest in Harry. And not in a good way. It's not always as obvious as it's with Lockhart pawing Harry or the whole cane -thing with Lucius, but... Is everyone in Potterverse at least slightly attracted to little boys? I find that disturbing.
Anyway...
Have joined the 'got really old comments to posts' people. It was weird. Nostalgic. Even silly. Replied to some before I realized what was going on, so if you get weird messages from me, blame it on my insanity, please!
Ta ta!
Should go to gym. Should buy shampoo. Should pack. Bollocks. I'll just lie here on the couch and think about Draco Malfoy's toes.
That reminds me. Spent the night doing paperwork and then watched HP PS and CoS. Am now slightly troubled. Shall not watch them again as long as I write the fic. Head was filled with words like 'silly', 'annoying' and 'dear gods this is stupid'. Will ignore that and just scribble. Or something.
Have to say... Everyone seems to have an unnatural interest in Harry. And not in a good way. It's not always as obvious as it's with Lockhart pawing Harry or the whole cane -thing with Lucius, but... Is everyone in Potterverse at least slightly attracted to little boys? I find that disturbing.
Anyway...
Have joined the 'got really old comments to posts' people. It was weird. Nostalgic. Even silly. Replied to some before I realized what was going on, so if you get weird messages from me, blame it on my insanity, please!
Ta ta!
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Date: 2004-08-04 06:20 am (UTC)353 days until Daniel Radcliffe is legal.353 days until Daniel Radcliffe is legal.
353 days until Daniel Radcliffe is legal.
353 days until Daniel Radcliffe is legal.
353 days until Daniel Radcliffe is legal.
353 days until Daniel Radcliffe is legal.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 08:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 08:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 07:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 08:19 am (UTC)Obsessing over Draco's toes doesn't sound like the worst thing ever... :P
no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 02:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 04:17 pm (UTC)*hides the evil smirk*
YOU BEETCH!!!!
Date: 2004-08-04 10:14 am (UTC)THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH! I hatesssssssss you, my precioussss! Yes, I do!
On the other hand or foot, now I have this incredibly silly image of Draco in a bathrobe with a towel wrapped around his head, perched on a large friendly squooshy chair, with foam separators between his toes, and Goyle sitting on the floor cradling Draco's foot in one hand and painting his toes. Crabbe is sitting at his side, with a little trolly working on his hands.
WB
Re: YOU BEETCH!!!!
Date: 2004-08-04 11:59 am (UTC)Oh Go There!
Date: 2004-08-04 01:55 pm (UTC)The Slytherin Salon for all your Evil Needs? *puts on large glasses and picks up microphone* ~~~ Come with me now, your Daily Prophet reporter and guide, Wilimena Wolfsbride, as we go inside this most secret of secret chambers.~~
*pushes the huge double doors open*
An appalling lack of security I must say. *walks briskly through in true tour guide fashion*
On my left, we have up and coming heir to Malfoy Manor, Draco Malfoy. *watches as Draco eeps and tries to cover his head*
Well, what a surprise! Muggles say that gentlemen prefer blonds and apparently so does Draco Malfoy. Here we see him getting his locks dyed blonde. Corn Silk #5 if I'm not mistaken.
*continues walking*
On my right is the Big Daddy Slytherin himself, Lucius Malfoy! And what do we have here???
*peers into the tray the hairdresser is using while Lucius splutters and tries to find his wand*
Well, well. Lucius is getting a hair weave. It seems Mr. Malfoy's trademark long tresses are as fake as Malfoy Junior's blondness. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first, Lucius Malfoy uses FAKE hair. Shocking.
The Daily Prophet, for all your gossiping needs. Owl us for a subscription today!
*walks toward the back of the salon*
If you'll look straight ahead of me, you'll see Professor Snape, suspected Death Eater, Hogwarts teacher and professional torturer of children. *ducks the Avada Kedavra Snape casts at me* Oh jolly good form there, Professor.
You're probably wondering what on Earth Snape is doing here, since it is rumored that he doesn't change his clothes, wash or do any of the other things normal wizards are supposed to do. Well, once again the Daily Prophet is able to bring you, our readers the truth! Professor Snape maybe a slimy obnoxious git, but he is NOT naturally greasy!!
Yes, here we see him having his hair professionally greased. It's amazing the transformation wrought by a few handfuls of gunk. Remember kids, don't try this at home! The Daily Prophet supports responsible readership by encouraging its patrons to always use a professional.
*walks over to a set of iron doors*
Lastly, we have the forbidden area of the salon. *looks the doors over noting all the KEEP AWAY!!!, DO NOT ENTER ON PAIN OF DEATH!!! signs*
I know. I know. I can hear you all whining, 'but Wilimena! We want to know what's behind the doors!' And so you shall, my pretties. So you shall! After all, I would be most remiss in my duties as an investigative reporter if I did NOT investigate that which is hidden away here.
*pushes doors open* Don't ask. It's magic.
*gasps in shock* Well, folks. As you can see we're now in the forbidden section of the salon and here we see WHY it's forbidden. If word of this got out, it would create a scandal the likes of which has not been seen since it was discovered that Dumbledore wears lacy underpants.
*gestures broadly* Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Lord Voldemort in all his glory! Yes, that's right, folks.
Lord Voldemort, The Dark Lord, He Who Must Not Be Named, You Know Who, TOM RIDDLE, yes THAT Voldemort, is here with me now, getting his legs and bikini line waxed. I shudder to think what this means for all of us.
Well, that's our tour of the Slytherin Salon. I hope it was an enjoyable one. Let's leave now while we still...
Wait!!! What's this! *pounces on the mound of nothing hiding behind Voldemort's chair.*
What's this? Ladies and Gentlemen! A tremendous scoop for the Daily Prophet! *drags Harry Potter out from under his Invisibility Cloak*
Harry Potter! Ladies and Gentlemen! The Boy Who Lived himself! But why would a Gryfindor be patronizing a Slytherin beauty salon you ask.
*looks Harry up and down* Obviously a Gryfindor with something to hide! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Harry Potter. WITHOUT THE MESSY HAIR!!!
Yes, you heard it here first! Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived and noted future Saviour of the Wizarding World, comes to the Slythern Salon to have his hair styled in its accustomed messy look! Shocking! Just shocking!
Well, folks, that's all the time we have. So until next time, remember, keep snooping!
WB
Re: Oh Go There!
Date: 2004-08-04 02:05 pm (UTC)Dear Gods that was fun! However, I doubt the reporters would be allowed to leave the place. Voldemort will just slap them with his pan.
Voldemort looks sad and sighs, "No, I'll just invite them over for a dinner. Honestly, people! I'm really a nice guy who just likes his souffles a bit too much. But we all have our quirks!"
We hear you, Voldie!
How about a sequel? All the Slytherins and Potter meeting at the 3 broomsticks the next day, drinking and wallowing in self pity... Maybe talking.... Shagging... *cough*
Re: Oh Go There!
Date: 2004-08-06 02:51 pm (UTC)Now I can never enjoy the porny bits of Draco slash without thinking do the drapes match the carpet..
*pain*
:)
Re: Oh Go There!
Date: 2004-08-07 02:24 am (UTC)2) Oh, but you know that they would! After all, if Draco wasn't born with a fashion sense, you can be sure Lucius would have beat one into him. Actually, he would have hired someone to do it. Our Big Daddy Slytherin doesn't like to muss his hands.
~*~*~*
Draco stood stiffly in front of his father and his guest. He wondered what was going on. There'd been no warning about company coming over.
He didn't dare shift his gaze from looking straight ahead so he couldn't see what the two of them were doing off to the side of him but he could hear whispering.
A sudden clapping of hands nearly caused Draco to jump. Only rigid discipline saved him.
"Zis is terrible, Luczeeeus! Zee yellow! Zee green! She izzz okay separately, but mon dieu! Strips??? You called for me just in zee nick of time, mon ami. Leave 'im to me. I will straighten 'im out."
Draco swallowed as his father walked away. He forced himself not to flinch as the mysterious guest walked around him, muttering to himself. When the man finally stopped moving, he stood in front of Draco and whipped out an easel and a large sheet of heavy paper.
Putting the sheet onto the easel, the man drew his wand and fiddled with it, making it longer. He smacked it against the chart. "What do you zee?"
"Um... A bunch of colours."
Wap! The man whacked Draco with his wand. "Incorrect! Zeese are complimentary colours. Zis means they look pretty together. Tell moi, do you zee yellow and green together any where on ziz sheet?
"Um... No."
"Exactly! Zat iz because even a blind monkee would not be caught dead wearing zat colour combination. You will memorize zese colours. Now!"
*****
Draco was very sore by the time his father's guest was finished with him. But at least now he understood what a truly horrendous mistake he'd made with his yellow and green stripped suit.
WB
Re: Oh Go There!
Date: 2004-08-07 01:18 pm (UTC).......:O
1. Porny bits are everywhere. For some reason quite a lot of writers think that Draco is a bit of a whore. :)
*shocked*
2. Heh, drapes=hair, carpet=......um, you know?
*blushes*
But now I can totally see the Lucius Malfoy's school for fashion victims and stylistically impaired wizards. *more pain*
Re: Oh Go There!
Date: 2004-08-09 06:51 am (UTC)*blushes*>>
HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA! *falls off the chair laughing* Sorry. I totally misunderstood that, didn't I? Oh well, at least it resulted in a scribble :)
Lol... I was kinda all squee about the fact that I'm still a bit innocent but then I realized: now that you've explained it, I can't claim innocence anymore. Lol...
And now I'm contemplating Draco's private bits. Nope, not innocent at all! :D
WB