(no subject)
Aug. 26th, 2008 12:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sua_lay*sigh*
Haven't searched for fic to read for weeks, and now that I did, the first ones I found are so totally crappy I'm laughing here.
Does that make me a bad person?
I'm just.... come on! Mush is all good and well at times, but when it's stupid OOC mush... No.
It's like at some point someone decided mush has to follow a certain pattern :
1. A has secret feelings for B
2. A is afraid B will laugh/hit him/leave/kill him if he tells him about his secret feelings.
3. A is angsting about the thing, with wobbly lower lip and all (mentioning his throbbing erection and/or the fact the wanks thinking about B is optional according to the rating of the story)
4. The ever important Plot Device brings our heroes together. It's usually B having been on a date that ended badly or B being dumped by other means, B in a danger, B almost dying, B deciding he'll leave town or B dying (works best if it's Daniel Jackson, Jack Harkness or some other dude who will come back)
5. While consoling B over his fucked up relationship/misfortune/death, A decides it's time to reveal his emotions.
6. A leaned closer to B, kissing his lips softly.
B was too stunned to move, not kissing back but not flinching away.
When the kiss ended, B asked hesitantly, "What the hell was that all about, man?"
"I... I just thought you should know." A answered, realizing he'd done the biggest mistake in his life. "I'm sorry, B. I love you."
B stared, eyes widening. He couldn't believe it! A loved him! How could that be true? "You love me?"
"I love you!"
B smiled a shy smile. "Cool. But you know... I've never been with a man before."
"That's okay, love." A smiled back. "I'll teach you."
7. A sex scene with lots of cliches, too much lube, staring in the eyes, screaming the other guy's name when they come, raging tumescences.
8. Affirmation of love, in the form of the words 'I love you' repeated ad nauseum. Then maybe a silly petname. They really are soul mates and will live happily ever after.
*has a nervous breakdown*
Oh well. I just kinda hoped I'd find something decent from a rare pairing I've loved for ages. Heh. As if that's gonna happen...
Haven't searched for fic to read for weeks, and now that I did, the first ones I found are so totally crappy I'm laughing here.
Does that make me a bad person?
I'm just.... come on! Mush is all good and well at times, but when it's stupid OOC mush... No.
It's like at some point someone decided mush has to follow a certain pattern :
1. A has secret feelings for B
2. A is afraid B will laugh/hit him/leave/kill him if he tells him about his secret feelings.
3. A is angsting about the thing, with wobbly lower lip and all (mentioning his throbbing erection and/or the fact the wanks thinking about B is optional according to the rating of the story)
4. The ever important Plot Device brings our heroes together. It's usually B having been on a date that ended badly or B being dumped by other means, B in a danger, B almost dying, B deciding he'll leave town or B dying (works best if it's Daniel Jackson, Jack Harkness or some other dude who will come back)
5. While consoling B over his fucked up relationship/misfortune/death, A decides it's time to reveal his emotions.
6. A leaned closer to B, kissing his lips softly.
B was too stunned to move, not kissing back but not flinching away.
When the kiss ended, B asked hesitantly, "What the hell was that all about, man?"
"I... I just thought you should know." A answered, realizing he'd done the biggest mistake in his life. "I'm sorry, B. I love you."
B stared, eyes widening. He couldn't believe it! A loved him! How could that be true? "You love me?"
"I love you!"
B smiled a shy smile. "Cool. But you know... I've never been with a man before."
"That's okay, love." A smiled back. "I'll teach you."
7. A sex scene with lots of cliches, too much lube, staring in the eyes, screaming the other guy's name when they come, raging tumescences.
8. Affirmation of love, in the form of the words 'I love you' repeated ad nauseum. Then maybe a silly petname. They really are soul mates and will live happily ever after.
*has a nervous breakdown*
Oh well. I just kinda hoped I'd find something decent from a rare pairing I've loved for ages. Heh. As if that's gonna happen...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-08-26 09:53 am (UTC)*rolls her eyes*
And there's nothing wrong with pining. I just wish they stopped writing the silly OMG I love him so OMG now I'm all hard and throbbing OMG he's so awesome!!1! -crap where the characters behave like 12 years girls.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-26 01:49 pm (UTC):D
Oh, yes. My personal 'favorite' is that mental monologue of a 12 year old girly!girl when the character is not only male but way past thirty.:D
no subject
Date: 2008-08-26 01:51 pm (UTC)...for the T-shirt, I mean.
Heh.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-26 03:27 pm (UTC)*hearts*
Or not...
Hey, I could think of worse slogans to put into a shirt... :?
no subject
Date: 2008-08-26 04:03 pm (UTC)Rainbows and unicorns, my ass.
Ooo, I just want a shirt with that marshmallow pooping unicorn picture.:D
no subject
Date: 2008-08-26 04:07 pm (UTC)Hey, it was Methos in the fic I read... *facepalm*
no subject
Date: 2008-08-26 04:22 pm (UTC)