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sua_layAuthor: Rimau Sua Lay
Rating: overall NC-17, Angst, Drama, Action/Adventure, First Time
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Harry/Snape, Ron/Draco, (Sirius/Remus)
Date: December 2002 - May 2007
Disclaimers: Not mine, borrowed without permission, am not making any money. Please don't sue. Sherbet Lemon?
Summary for Book Five: - It's time to try to save the world. Fools and idiots may be the wizards' only hope. Revenge does indeed taste strange. Kinda furry.
Warning: This part contains deaths, gore, total stupidity, explicit sex between men, disturbing themes and angst.
The earlier parts of the fic can be found here.
Harry was awake at the brink of dawn.
He squeezed his eyes shut after one glance at the window. It wasn't bright enough for him to get up, but he didn't feel sleepy anymore. Maybe it would be the best for him to just lie here and enjoy the soft sounds of Snape breathing.
Realization hit him a moment later, driving all thoughts of relaxation out of his mind.
This was the day they had all been waiting for. The sunrise was a sign, the dawn of the battle. All the preparations they had made, all the years they had plotted and planned and suffered had led them to this day.
His first thought was to crawl under the blankets and never come out again, but after a few breaths he let go of the panic, knowing that while it was normal, it wouldn't change anything.
He was going to have to get up and do his duty, so that maybe some day soon he would have the luxury of spending the whole day in bed without worrying about the Order or their world or anything.
Sighing, he pushed the blankets away, only then noticing that Snape was awake as well. "Morning."
"Yes, it is." Not bothering with the niceties, Snape sat up. "We should get ready."
Harry nodded, knowing that any other words would simply make him want to stay in bed for longer. "Yeah."
They went through their morning routines quietly, sharing the bathroom under the pretense of saving time, neither commenting on the quiet companionship. Harry finished his ablutions first, dressing up and then waiting for Snape as the man spread the familiar potion on his Dark Mark, hopefully for the last time.
The others were already up, and Sirius and Remus were getting ready to leave with Hermione, their operation the first action planned for the day.
Harry half wished they had left already, wondering just how many teary goodbyes he could deal with today. He was pleasantly surprised when Sirius enfolded him into a bear hug, followed by a few pats in the back and his eternal Gryffindor optimism as he muttered, "We'll deal with the creepy crawlies and then come and watch you kick Voldemort's arse."
After a few similar words from both Remus and Hermione, Harry padded into the kitchen, not wishing to watch them leave.
Sirius' false cheer dropped from his face immediately.
"So are we ready?" Looking from Sirius to Hermione, Remus finally gestured at the door. "Let's go then." There was nothing more to do, really.
"I'm ready," Hermione muttered, tucking the slim Scamander book into her pocket just in case she needed it.
"Snape." Barking the name out, Sirius looked at the man from the doorway, ignoring the worried looks Remus was casting at him. "Wait a moment."
Snape raised an eyebrow, wondering what on earth would the mutt have to say to him.
Sirius stared at Snape, for once his gaze devoid of the smallest hint of resentment. "If I don't come back, make sure he will be all right." It was half a plea, half a command.
"Of course."
Taking a deep breath, Sirius nodded. That would be good enough. He knew that Snape was a complete bastard, but for some reason he could be trusted with this. "But if I do come back..." His voice deepened into a growl.
"You will still hate me as much as ever. Yes, Black, that is quite obvious and the feeling is completely mutual." Snape sneered. In time, he might be able to tolerate the mutt's presence, but the truth was that the less time they spent in the same village the better.
He turned away, not watching the three Gryffindors leave.
No one seemed to have any appetite that morning -- even Ron who had slept longer than usual was just nibbling his toast -- but they all ate anyway, not knowing when they might have the chance to eat the next time. No one mentioned the fact that this might be their last meal either.
Everyone in Hogsmeade seemed to be ready, people milling around in the streets, waiting. When Harry and his friends finally emerged from their house, no one said a word, but it was clear what they had been waiting for. United, the army of Aurors and the Order of the Phoenix made their way towards Hogwarts.
Eppy and Bob stood at the doorway, watching the witches and wizards pass by.
There was a crowd waiting at the Great Hall, the professors getting ready to join the fight. Small groups were forming here and there; the different task forces preparing to leave as soon as everyone was present.
Arabella Figg nodded briefly at Harry before going to Snape, her face grim. Everyone knew that their mission to the Malfoy Mansion would be the most dangerous assignment, not counting the main force staying to defend Hogwarts of course.
Harry simply nodded back at her.
This was it. Funny how he felt none of the things he'd always thought he would as he watched people get ready for the fight. His mind was filled with a strange combination of exhilaration, relief and utter terror, forming a loop that didn't allow any emotion to gain dominance over the others.
He looked at his friends, smiling a little as he saw Draco adjust his flying robes. Still a Slytherin to the core, his new black robes lined with silver and green, looking perfectly groomed even now.
Next to him, Ron was pulling off one of his boots and wriggling his toes, looking really pale. Harry sighed. He wished he could be there with his friends, but knew that in the end, he'd just be in the way in the melee. It was best to stay out of the crossfire and look for his real enemy, no matter how uncomfortable the idea felt.
Flying was what he did best.
Harry watched Parvati Patil tie her long hair into a ponytail. It was a good precaution; even Draco had combed his hair back again, the hairgel making it look like a slick blond helmet covering his head.
Of course Snape's only concession to the situation was to push some of the greasy locks behind his ears.
"Are you ready?" Finishing with his robes, Draco looked at Harry. "We should get in the air before the Death Eaters arrive." His voice was tight. Somewhere amongst the masked figures was his own father, surrounded by people Draco had known all his life.
Fastening the gloves tight, Harry nodded. What else could he do; say that he would probably never be ready for this and would prefer to run and hide?
He wasn't even sure that was true anymore.
"Good." Draco brushed his hand down his front, adjusting the robes one more time. Then he grabbed his broom. Most of their small team was already outside, waiting for them to join them. There was really nothing left for him here.
Except for one thing.
The broom clattered against the flagstones as Draco twirled around. Weasley didn't even seem surprised by the sudden movement and allowed himself to be pulled into a fierce embrace. It felt as natural as breathing, the slender figure against him, the strong hands holding him tight. Both knew that everyone was watching, but neither really cared. If someone wanted to make comments about them, they could just go ahead.
There was an eerie silence in the room.
Ron let everything else fade away as Malfoy's hand touched the back of his head and guided him into a hungry kiss. He was terrified of what lay ahead, suddenly realizing this could well be the last time for everything.
What a stupid moment to admit to himself that maybe he really didn't hate Draco Malfoy anymore. That maybe shagging and fighting and then shagging again sounded better than dying or losing people he didn't hate. He still didn't like Malfoy, but damn it, he didn't want to see him dead!
And he definitely didn't want to lose his own life either.
Closing his eyes, Draco let his lips move against Weasley's, devouring his mouth. Then he let go, stepping back before the need to melt against Weasley could override his mind. "Accio Nimbus!"
As soon as the broom jumped to his hand, he turned around and walked out of the Great Hall without looking back.
Leaving Ron stare after him with a tight expression on his face.
It took a moment for everyone standing nearby to shake off the shock and continue with their preparations. Bill Weasley was muttering softly from under his breath as he shoved his wand into the holster on his belt, his expression telling everyone that he was definitely going to have a long discussion with his little brother later on.
"What a lovely display."
Harry smiled a little at the dry voice. He didn't need to look up to know that Snape was standing right next to him. "Yes. I thought so too." The snort that his words produced was exactly what he'd expected. "Is your group ready?"
"Yes. They're ready to leave." Snape nodded.
The panic flooding over Harry was unexpected. He'd thought he would be able to deal with this, considering how calm he'd felt all day, but now that the time to go was finally here, he realized he was far from ready. Then as soon as the terror had come, it was gone, buried beneath the knowledge that ready or not, this had to be done now. Only after defeating Voldemort could there ever be the peace he so desperately craved.
"Then you go in there, take care of the business and get out of there. Burn the place down if you have to, just make sure there will be nothing there to aid Voldemort's people ever again." He was glad Draco wasn't there to hear him say it.
There was another nod.
Harry didn't know what else to say; all the platitudes he could come up with sounded stupid and anything personal would surely choke him.
"Harry." It came out calmly. Only the fire in the dark gaze told about Snape's inner turmoil.
Swallowing down the wobbly grin that threatened to spread on his face, Harry raised an eyebrow. "Yes?" He knew there wouldn't be any earth shattering goodbyes, not in public, but damn it, Snape could have chosen another moment to call him by his first name.
Snape stared at him for a moment, then raised his hand to touch Harry's arm, a quick brush of fingers against the thick flying robes. "Don't get killed."
He resented leaving Harry like this; the idiot would be in more danger than ever and he wouldn't be there to protect him.
"I'll try not to," Harry said.
"Good." It was really all Snape could ask.
Harry looked at Snape, knowing all too well that this could be the last time he ever saw the man. All the things they had said last night, all the unsaid promises, and there was still so much he wanted Snape to know. So many things he wanted to do or say and now time had ran out and all they had was this. "Snape, I..."
He couldn't finish the sentence, already losing the grip he had on all his emotions, the ache and the nervous clenching in his stomach driving the calm away.
He couldn't do this now.
"Go!" Drawing the detachment around himself like a cloak, Harry copied Snape's gesture, his fingers brushing against Snape's sleeve. "I'll see you when this is all over."
This was not the time for confessions. He wished there would be a chance to make them later on, when it really would be over and he wouldn't have to think about fighting and dying.
There were no other words, no other touches. With one last look, Snape turned around, his robes billowing. Harry refused to watch him go, fearing he couldn't just let him walk away if he did.
People were leaving. The small groups that were to attack the stronger manors and mansions around their world were gathering outside, letting portkeys hurl them to their destinations. Those who would spread out on the grounds or go to the Forbidden Forest were already on their way, those who would stay closer to the castle and protect it with their lives were saying their goodbyes.
Harry walked slowly through the corridors, gazing at the empty paintings on the walls. Everyone was gone. The people in the paintings and the ghosts had all traveled to places where they could see outside, crowding the windowed areas.
He could hear the sound of children running and laughing somewhere deep inside the castle, and wondered if his mind was playing tricks on him. There should be no one here yet, the school term starting weeks from now. If the school still stood then.
Steeling himself against the need to go and check it out, Harry went on towards the main entry. The school was still Dumbledore's responsibility.
The world outside was his.
Right inside the great doors leading to the courtyard stood a man with a small form of a fluffy cat sitting next to him. He was holding a pitchfork.
Harry said nothing as he passed him by, barely noticing the glare Filch cast at him. Yes. Everyone was ready.
The purebloods, the Muggleborns, the Squibs. The members of the Order standing side by side with Aurors, the professors with youngsters who had barely finished school. All of them making a stand here, at the heart of their world.
They would all die before they let Voldemort take over. Everyone knew that, most probably trying very hard not to think about the fact that the battle would indeed claim lives. Still, they were standing here, standing and fighting. No one would ever again have to face these horrors if they succeeded in their task of ridding the world of the Dark Lord and his followers.
Harry took a deep breath. All the games and the playacting had grated on his nerves for months, but this here, this group of people getting ready to defend their world, this was right. It wasn't about one man being a hero, it was about all of them doing what they had to do.
That was the one thought he held on to as his steps carried him over the threshold, out of Hogwarts and its protective walls into the battlefield.
Outside, the sun was almost reaching its zenith.
It was a beautiful day.
A/N: Next up, war. That means fighting and dying. Good guys will die as well as bad guys! You have been warned!
