Fic: No Hiding Place book Four: The Cupboard Under The Stairs (25/32)

[sua_lay]

Title: No Hiding Place: Book Four: The Cupboard Under the Stairs (25/32)
Author: Rimau Sua Lay
Rating: overall NC-17, Angst, Drama, Action/Adventure, First Time
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Harry/Snape, Ron/Draco, (Sirius/Remus)
Date: December 2002 - ?
Disclaimers: Not mine, borrowed without permission, am not making any money. Please don't sue. Sherbet Lemon?
Summary for Book Four: -Before you can go forward, you must face your past. Sins of the father may bury the son. Harry will find out if a dog really is the man's best friend.
Warning: This part contains deaths, gore, mention of het rape, explicit sex between men, disturbing themes, angst and a partridge in a pear tree.

The earlier parts of the fic can be found here.

Part 25

Harry slumped on the couch, looking around as if he hadn't seen this place for ages. Everything looked the same, the shelves full of books, the portraits of old headmasters on the walls. The only change was the slightly rumpled looking Phoenix chick sitting on his perch, singing softly.

It was definitely strange to be back at Hogwarts like this.

"Care for some tea?" Raising the pot, Dumbledore didn't wait for an answer, he simply poured Harry a cup. "Thank you for coming on such short notice."

"There wasn't anything important to do at Hogsmeade." Shrugging, Harry took the offered cup. He inhaled the familiar scent, enjoying the simplicity of it before taking a sip.

Things had finally calmed down enough for the training to continue, and both the training and the teaching could be dealt without his constant presence. At least that's what he hoped.

Dumbledore poured himself tea as well and then sat across the table. He picked up the cup, but didn't drink from it, holding it between his palms and staring into the depths as if he was trying to read all the secrets of the world in the dark liquid. "How is everyone?"

Wondering if he really knew himself, Harry said, "They're fine. Remus and Sirius are getting ready for another trip." Which would hopefully take place in a few weeks so that Remus could recover from full moon. "Hermione is... doing better. She's studying war and she's pestering Ron to do the same. I think Malfoy's contemplating teaching some of the defense courses."

They hadn't talked about it yet, but he could see the annoyance in the Slytherin every time they visited the practice hall and saw the incompetence in some of the younger wizards.

"Ah, yes. I do believe you might be right about that." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as if he knew exactly what Harry was thinking. "And how are you doing?"

Harry looked at him, trying to see if it was simply a platitude or if he really wanted to know. In the end it didn't really matter. He had never shown his inner turmoil to Dumbledore, not really, and wasn't about to start now. "As well as can be expected."

The grim look they shared spoke volumes. Both knew exactly what he meant.

"I do think the Order's in good hands." Smiling as if he didn't notice the grimace his words caused, Dumbledore went on, "Things are going better than I'd expected. Our people are well organized and Hogsmeade seems to be the perfect place for them, don't you think?"

Harry nodded. The small village had expanded seemingly overnight, but no one seemed to mind. Having everyone close together made the training so much easier. "Yes."

"I have received an owl from Minister Fudge. He regrets he hasn't been able to visit yet, and wants us to know that even though he is awfully busy right now, he would like to attend to a meeting sometime soon."

Raising an eyebrow at that, Harry suppressed an annoyed sigh. "You mean he is willing to look the other way even though our work is sort of undermining his and he will not engage himself in any activity until it's absolutely necessary."

"I believe that's exactly what I mean." The twinkle was still in Dumbledore's eyes, but it wasn't completely benevolent.

That made Harry smile despite himself. If Fudge wasn't going to help, at least he was not messing the whole thing up by trying to order them around. "All right. What else?" There had to be a reason for him being here.

Dumbledore took a sip from his cup, looking pensive. "We may have a problem." Realizing Harry wasn't going to say anything, he added, "The Ministry will not intervene with us, but I'm afraid we may have problems with something even more important."

What could be more important than the Ministry? Harry thought for a moment before it dawned to him. Only two things mattered to people who ran their world; money and power. Of course. "Gringotts."

"Yes." Without waiting for a question, Dumbledore launched into a short explanation, telling Harry about the wizarding bank's policy of not interfering in various squabbles in their world and how very powerful families could well change that.

Harry didn't have to be told the names of such families. He was certain he would find most of them on the list they had of known Death Eaters, the Malfoys standing at the top of that list.

"We need to make certain that it will never happen." Being a realist, Dumbledore knew it would be a disaster to have Gringotts back Voldemort. Their war would be over even before it truly began. "The Death Eaters are already controlling too much. If they control the money..."

"We might as well surrender. Yeah. I know." Harry nodded. Money apparently made even the wizarding world go around. He also knew why Dumbledore was talking about this with him. "You want me to go to Gringotts?"

He grimaced slightly as he saw the nod and then finished his tea, glad that Dumbledore didn't surrender to the urge to fill the silence with trivial small talk.

Thinking about the dangers of the mission was easy compared to the things he was going to have to face before actually going to Gringotts.

Harry was feeling the familiar headache approach as he closed the front door behind him, breathing in the scent of something cooking in the kitchen. It was strange how this house still didn't smell like home.

Home was the place he'd just left after having something that had been very close to a real argument with Snape about his mission, the full moon and his tendency to ignore advice given by those wiser than he.

It had been long winded, filled with sarcasm and ire, but none of the undercurrent of real anger. Such a relief really that even with all the growling and glaring it was easy to see that Snape wasn't mad, he was simply worried.

He didn't really want to think about that right now. As hard as the discussion with Snape had been, the one still waiting would be worse.

Toeing off his shoes, he fought against the urge to just drop his robes on the floor. Even if Bob would undoubtedly scurry to pick them up in a moment, he found such arrogance unacceptable.

"Harry!"

Startled by the worry in Sirius' voice, Harry looked up just in time to see his godfather rush to him. He barely managed to grasp a better hold on the bottle he was carrying before he was enveloped in a hug. He blinked at the way Sirius held him tight. "Sirius. Good to see you too. It's been a while." He was pretty sure it hadn't been more than four hours since they'd finished lunch together.

"Thank Merlin you're safe!" Sirius sounded relieved. "I was so worried about you!"

Harry realized that something was very wrong. Even though Sirius was sometimes more than just slightly overprotective, this went beyond his usual neurotic behavior. "What's going on?"

Not saying anything, Sirius simply held him tighter.

Now Harry was really worried. "Sirius? What happened?" He tried to squirm away from the hug, bumping against the doorframe. "Sirius!"

Remus' voice came from down the hallway. "The Dementors have left Azkaban."

Simply mentioning the soul destroyers made Sirius convulse so hard Harry was afraid he'd rupture something.

Harry was assaulted by memories so filled with dread and hope that he couldn't think of anything for a moment. A year of terror had been culminated in almost losing Sirius and then finding something incredible inside of him, the happy memory that had been the only thing strong enough to bring forth his Patronus.

But underneath the memory of his father's Animagus form was still the icy fear and the sound of his mother screaming.

Allowing Sirius to pull him into the living room where the others were quietly sitting and waiting for him, Harry tried to shake the hazy memories away.

"Hi Harry!" Ron nodded at him, looking relieved now that they were all here. The tension in the house had been palpable ever since the special edition of the Prophet had arrived and he could already see everyone relax.

Well, not everyone. Hermione was clearly more at ease, but Malfoy was as alert as ever, and Sirius... He didn't really want to even imagine what was going through his mind.

"Hi Ron," Harry sighed. "The Dementors, eh? Bloody hell..."

Both Ron and Hermione nodded at that. It was either that or to join Harry in cursing the situation. "Yeah." Ron was proud of how he managed to leave it at that.

Draco Malfoy didn't say anything.

Sirius' gaze was moving from window to window and then to the door, only to return to the windows again. He was sitting still, but somehow he projected the nervous energy of a caged animal.

The news had sent him into a wide eyed shock. He'd lived under the Dementors' freezing presence for twelve years of his life, and the only reason for his survival were the bitter memories and the need for revenge; it had turned him into something he never wanted to be again, and with Remus' help he never would have to face such coldness inside.

Facing the possibility of Dementors coming for him was almost too much. He didn't just fear for his own life and soul, he was terrified for those he loved.

"Nothing will enter Hogsmeade," Remus muttered quietly, his voice calm and controlled. "We have taken care of it."

"Good." Harry didn't have to ask who had toiled on the wards. He could probably guess most of them.

Sirius didn't take his gaze off the windows as he said, "Yeah. Good. Nobody leaves Hogsmeade until this is dealt with." It was clear he meant he wasn't going to let anyone out of the house even if he had to sit in front of the door and guard it.

Any other time, Harry might have welcomed the day off.

Taking a deep breath, he counted to ten before releasing it. "Sirius... I can't."

Sirius turned to stare at him, his eyes wide with shock. Then the meaning of Harry's words dawned and he growled out, "No."

"I'm sorry," Harry said, adding before Sirius could growl again, "There's something I need to do."

"No!"

"Dumbledore asked me to go to Diagon Alley to..."

"No!"

"Sirius!" It was the first time ever Harry used that tone of voice with his godfather, and he hated seeing the resulting flinch. "Listen to me. I need to go to Diagon Alley tomorrow. Nothing can change that."

Not even the sad look in Sirius' eyes.

"No." This time it wasn't a yell or a growl but a plea.

Harry shook his head. "Yes." This would have been difficult even without the news about the Dementors. "I need to go to Diagon Alley. I need to go there tomorrow."

Waving the newspaper in the air, Sirius pleaded, "It says in here that the Dementors have left Azkaban!" Why was it so hard for Harry to see what it meant? Even mentioning the prison or its guards made Sirius' eyes gleam with both hatred and terror. "They are joining Voldemort's fight!"

"I heard you." Harry knew this was the worst thing that could happen. "And I know where they're going." He paused for a moment, simply looking into Sirius' eyes. "And I know where I must go."

If Voldemort had the awful power of the Dementors on his side, gaining the goblins' help would probably be easier. It was the advantage they couldn't afford; the money and the power united would ruin them all.

Remus watched Sirius' eyes cloud over. He didn't move, but stood there, ready to help if the memories that haunted his best friend started to overwhelm him.

"You don't understand. I thought I could stand them when they took me to Azkaban, but I was young. Arrogant. Proud." Sirius' voice was hollow. "You can't fight them with a Patronus. Not if there is a whole army of them. You think the ones we encountered in the woods were bad? Try facing them all. They keep coming and coming until they drown your soul with their presence."

Hearing the pain, Harry fought to keep his compassion from showing too clearly. Sirius never wanted anything that could be interpreted as pity. "I know. But I have to do this."

"No! You don't! Send someone else. For Merlin's sake, Harry! You can't do this on your own! They will kill you."

Still not saying anything, Remus walked to stand right behind Sirius. He recognized the desperation in his voice, just as he could see the stubborn glint in Harry's gaze.

Harry was quiet for a moment. Then he asked quietly, "And what kind of a man am I if I send someone else to die in my place?"

Sirius opened his mouth and then closed it.

Before anyone else could say a thing, Harry raised up a hand. "The goblins have asked for my presence. You all know how proud they are and they will only talk to me." He couldn't suppress shivers at that, and the memory of Dumbledore's satisfied expression when he'd said that. "So I'm going."

"Then I'm coming with you!" Sirius sounded like he'd got a good grasp on a bone and was not going to give it up without a fight.

Harry shook his head. "You can't go to Diagon Alley, you know that. Not even as Snuffles. It's too dangerous." He could see that his words had made no difference from the stubborn look on Sirius' face and realized he had to use the one weapon he didn't want to. "Besides, it's full moon tomorrow."

Reaching out with his hand, he planted the small earthenware bottle he was still holding on the table.

"You must thank Severus for the Wolfsbane for me," Remus muttered.

Mentioning the hated name didn't register in Sirius' mind as he stared at the bottle full of the familiar potion. He looked up at Harry, flinching at the very serious expression on his face. Even James had never managed to look so determined, and he could well remember how trying to change his friend's mind had been completely futile.

"You have a job to do here, Sirius, and tomorrow it's your place to stay with Remus, not me."

"I..." Startling at the soft touch on his back, Sirius glanced over his shoulder at Remus. He already knew he wasn't going to win this argument. "All right. I won't go with you. But someone should."

"I'll go." There was about as much hesitation in Ron's voice as there had been in Sirius' offer.

Smiling, Harry shook his head. "No, Ron. Not this time. It's Weasley night, remember?" Thinking about the family dinner didn't hurt; he was simply happy to hear Charlie was on his way to recovery, finally allowed out of St. Mungo's.

Ron shook his head. "They don't need me there." Not as much as Harry might need him.

"Yes, they do," Harry said, his tone harsh. "They do."

Maybe in time he would have to watch Ron go into battle, but he was not going to risk another Weasley if he could help it. Before Ron could protest, he turned to Hermione. "Don't even say it." He wasn't going to pull her into another fight either.

Hermione rolled her eyes at the familiar stubborn tone. "Harry..."

"No." Harry kept his voice level. "I'll just worry about you and no, I'm not saying this because you're a girl, so stop glaring. You look like professor McGonagall when you do that."

His words didn't really change her expression.

Even the thought of taking one of his friends with him felt preposterous. He'd spent years trying to shelter these people from the horrors he'd had to face, and maybe it had been silly, but this was the reality and reality was war.

He knew people worried because they cared. It had been clear in Snape's eyes when he'd handed him the Wolfsbane with curt words about wards. It was right there in Sirius' frantic gaze, in the quiet presence of Remus, Ron and Hermione.

Caring wouldn't be enough, not in a situation like this.

"I think you should reconsider."

Harry smiled at Remus, but his smile wasn't exactly happy. "I'm not going to take anyone I love into danger and quite frankly, I don't trust anyone else." Terry Boot's betrayal was still too close. "No. I'm going and I'm going alone."

Growling, Sirius jumped up and for a moment it looked like he was going to scream. Then he shuddered, his form a blur as he transformed into the black dog and ran out of the room with his nails clicking angrily against the floor.

"Sirius!" Harry yelled as he heard the back door slam open and then sway in the evening breeze.

"Let him go." Sounding weary, Remus stopped him from following. "Let him run."

Sighing, Harry sat back on the couch.

Snuffles ran, his paws sending dirt all around until he could control his anger enough to move with any resemblance of grace. It was a familiar track, across the small hamlet, up the street to Honeydukes, around the Three Broomsticks and then back again.

He was usually calm in this form, but now terror and worry were driving him insane.

If only Harry would listen to him! But no. Damn the stubborn Potters! James had been just like that, never listening to anyone when he'd made up his mind.

The thought made the dog falter, the nearly forgotten sense memory of red hair and a flowery scent contradicting his thoughts. There had been one person.

In his real form, Sirius would never have let himself even consider leaving Hogsmeade. Not only for fear of the Dementors, but also because there were things he was not going to acknowledge for the sake of sanity.

Harry was going to walk into danger, possibly a trap, and was not going to listen to him.

So he was going to find someone he would listen to.

The run to Hogwarts wasn't long for someone like Snuffles who was used to traveling, but the constant fear of seeing a dark form fly across the sky made it feel like eternity before he stepped onto school grounds. He couldn't concentrate on anything, not on his run and not on his plan, and it was throwing him off balance.

Finally the black dog slipped through the doorway, his ears flat against his skull as he sneaked across the hallway. He wanted to walk through the doorway as a human being, but knew he couldn't. Only when he was out of sight of people who might still be milling outside, he transformed back into a man.

Sirius took a deep breath, wondering if he should have stayed in his Animagus form a while longer. It was easier to deal with all this anger when he was Snuffles.

Shrugging away the thought, he padded towards the stairway, ignoring the ghosts flying around him and calling out his name. Not even sir Nick's joyous greeting could make him smile.

He was on a mission here.

The stairway to the dungeons was familiar to him. Years ago when he and his friends had roamed the hallways trying to find trouble with mischief in mind, they had often sneaked down here to see if they could pull a prank on the Slytherins.

It had never been like this, though, walking here to meet the Head of that despicable house.

The stone walls surrounding him made a small part of his mind whimper with panic. It was all too similar to Azkaban, the hallway looking like a prison. He ignored the shivers of fear and went on, determined to see Snape right now.

Sirius had done his best to stay clear of Snape, never talking to him or even growling at him when he was close enough to touch people he loved. It was Harry's wish, and he tried his best to obey; he wasn't going to do anything rash, no matter how he wished he could just kill the bastard.

He was going to deal with this in a calm manner, like adults did.

Finding the right door wasn't exactly difficult. After the time James had challenged him to sneak a stink bomb down here, he could have found his way with his eyes tied. Some things were never forgotten, and Sirius was glad this was one of them. The door looked the same as always, only the stupid snake shaped ornament on it seemed to be different, this one not as garishly tacky as the one he had stared at decades ago.

Sirius closed his eyes before knocking. He didn't want to be here, but he was desperate. Harry wasn't going to listen to him or Remus and would ignore the pleas from Hermione and the less pleading and angrier words from Ron. This was his last hope, and no matter how much he loathed even the thought of this place and this man, he had to try.

Grimacing with disgust, he banged the door with his fist.

Nothing happened. He banged on it again; certain that Snape knew exactly who was here and just ignored his presence. He'd show how well that worked! If Snape didn't open the door in five minutes, he would simply go through it.

Banging on the door so hard his hand hurt was actually quite satisfying. Not as satisfying as hitting Snape of course, but this would do. For now.

"I should have known you would find your way down here sooner or later."

The very audible sneer in the familiar voice made Sirius spin around. He saw Snape standing a few steps away from him with a wand in hand. "Snape."

Snape nodded, raising an eyebrow. "Yes. How clever of you to recognize me. After all, it must be surprising to see me standing outside my own home."

"Oh shut up!" Sirius had to keep in mind why he couldn't strangle Snape. He'd promised Harry he wasn't going to do anything stupid, but would it really be stupid to kill this bastard? He didn't think so. "I need to talk to you." The damn sneer was still there. "About Harry."

The change was small, but very clear. Snape's expression hardened, the malice dropping from his gaze. "What happened?" His voice was devoid of the biting sarcasm.

Sirius stared at him for a moment, unable to say anything. It almost looked like it mattered to Snape what was going on with Harry. Then he managed to say, "Nothing happened. Yet. But you know he's going to go to Gringotts tomorrow?"

"Yes. He may have mentioned it." The dark gaze was completely unreadable.

After a moment of silence, Sirius glared at Snape. Was he really not going to say anything else? He simply couldn't believe this man! Didn't he know what was at stake here? "He's being a total moron! I can't believe you're letting him do this!" To let Harry go to London at this point was insanity.

Saying the words like Snape really had any kind of power over Harry registered only a moment later, making him nauseous.

"What do you want me to do, Black? Tie him up?" There was a flicker of malicious glee in Snape's eyes as he saw the way Sirius bristled at that. "Tell him he can't go? And then what? Keep him locked away until the dawn comes and Voldemort disappears into a pile of dust? Harry is not a child anymore. I don't believe he has been for quite some time."

He could still remember the way Harry had looked when he'd first said that to him, tired and somehow old. No matter how ridiculous it had sounded, Snape knew he had been absolutely right.

Sirius took a step forward, stopping when he saw the wand rise to point at his chest immediately. "Yes, he is!" More importantly, James' child, and Snape was going to have to remember that and the debt he still owed to James.

"No, he really is not." How disappointing that they were back to this. Snape didn't want to fight with Black no matter how satisfying it might be. "Now move out of my way!" He was not at all surprised to see that the Gryffindor didn't budge.

"You're his..." Any of the proper terms simply refused to come out. Sirius grimaced. Better not linger there. The whole thing was making him see red. "Surely you can do something!"

It pained him to admit Snape might have a bigger influence on his godson than he did, but to make sure Harry was safe, he was willing to say anything, or do anything. If the git wanted him to, he would beg.

The reality of the war was terrifying. Even Diagon Alley wasn't a safe place anymore. Voldemort's people were everywhere; not only the wizards and witches, but also dark creatures. Those that were not sentient used as weapons, and then those, who would be able to suck out one's soul with one touch.

Snape saw the real worry in Black's eyes. Since it mirrored the emotion inside of him, he couldn't even sneer at the man, no matter how he might want to. "I have done all I could do." There was a questioning look on Black. "I asked him to consider other options." 'Asked' was probably a bit bland word to be used of the shouting match but that was none of the mutt's business.

"How the hell can you tell me that's all?" Hating the calm way Snape just stood there, Sirius lost most of the control he'd had over his anger. "Don't you see he's going to risk his life for something stupid someone else can do?"

There was no spark in Snape's eyes. His gaze looked completely lifeless, devoid of any emotion. He did not say a thing, because he knew this man would never understand it. Black was fighting because to him, it was personal. It was more than that to Harry.

Because of the role he was forced to play, he could not ask anyone else to do this.

Sirius growled. Inside, he was howling with anger and pain, not understanding how this was happening. "Don't you get it? He'll die, Snape!"

"Yes. That is a possibility." Cold tones delivered the words. Did Black really think Snape didn't know that? If anyone knew about the methods the Dark Lord used to get rid of his enemies, it was he, the former Death Eater. The one who had seen it all and been a part of things most people couldn't see even in their worst nightmares.

"A possibility? How the hell can you talk about a possibility?" Ignoring the fact that his voice could probably be heard in the Great Hall, Sirius finally let out the howl. "You let him die, and I'll break your cowardly neck, Snape!"

There was a long silence, as Snape stared at the angered man, wondering if there was anything he could say to him. He didn't have to justify his actions to Black. In fact, he should throw him out of his dungeons without a second thought. The problem was that for the first time in his life, he understood this idiotic Gryffindor. He knew exactly how he felt inside and even though it was making him slightly nauseous, he couldn't find the usual rage inside.

"What makes you think I'll be alive at that time?" The quietly spoken words surprised even Snape himself. He'd had no intention of explaining anything to Black.

It was too late to withdraw his words, the echo of them reverberating against the stone walls as if the cold dungeons would forever whisper his folly.

Sirius stared. His eyes huge, he could only stare at Snape. Feeling his mouth open, he stood there, not even able to form a sound much less words. Had the disgusting creepy Slytherin bastard really said that? Did he mean it the way it came out? He couldn't! It went against everything he was.

The dumbfounded expression was such a classic example of Black's wit, Snape wanted to laugh. He didn't, though. With his own words, the rage had finally woken up, slowly filling him, and right now, rage was better than the fear still lurking right beneath it. Raising his eyebrow, he cast a look at the end of the hallway. "If you are quite through with your childish display, I'd suggest you leave. Now."

"But..." Finally able to regain some control over his voice, Sirius protested. He couldn't leave. Not until the greasy git explained himself.

"Get out of my dungeons." It was accented by a glare that usually made students start to babble incoherently. "Now."

Something in the quiet voice made Sirius turn around and walk away. He had a distinct feeling that if he was still hiding his face here, Snuffles would be crawling down the hall on his belly, his tail firmly tucked between his legs.

From behind him, he could hear a door open, and then something shattered on the floor. He didn't turn back to see what it was, too stunned by what had just happened.

---

Comments

[xikum.livejournal.com]

OMG!! Gives low whistle. Adjusts her seat on the chair, anticipating next chapter. Thinks... I am sooo lucky I waited for another chapter before I read this. Amazing cliffie, and entrancing writing has sucked me irretrievably into the vortex.

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

:D This fic really surprised even me, considering it went *nowhere* near the place I'd thought when I started writing it. Of course it's a good thing, considering the original ideas were a load of crap, but anyway...