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sua_layAuthor: Rimau Sua Lay
Rating: overall NC-17, Angst, Drama, Action/Adventure, First Time
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Harry/Snape, Ron/Draco, (Sirius/Remus)
Date: December 2002 - ?
Disclaimers: Not mine, borrowed without permission, am not making any money. Please don't sue. Sherbet Lemon?
Summary for Book Four: -Before you can go forward, you must face your past. Sins of the father may bury the son. Harry will find out if a dog really is the man's best friend.
Warning: This part contains deaths, gore, mention of het rape, explicit sex between men, disturbing themes, angst and a partridge in a pear tree.
The earlier parts of the fic can be found here.
Trying to explain Harry's absence without actually letting anyone know where he was spending the morning -- or the previous night and a good part of the evening -- was getting on Ron's nerves.
It had been bad enough to stay at his new home without saying something that would have destroyed the extremely fragile peace. They had all known where Harry had gone to, but no one said a word about it. Not even Malfoy who had probably read Sirius' expression just as well as the rest of them and realized that one stray comment would cause an explosion.
Escaping the potentially disastrous situation, Ron and Hermione decided to eat breakfast at the Three Broomsticks.
Madam Rosmerta looked as happy to see them as always, offering them a free table and a free meal. It made Hermione look slightly uncomfortable, but Ron nudged her into silence. Even with the free lodging and all, he still couldn't afford things like this.
Being Harry's best friend did have its perks, and he for one wasn't going to make anyone feel bad by refusing such generosity.
It was great to just sit here with Hermione, almost like some of the very early Sunday mornings back at Hogwarts, when they were the first ones awake and enjoying the peace and quiet in the almost deserted Great Hall. The sausage and eggs were just as good as the food the house elves made.
He wanted to spend this day as carefree as he had on those long gone Sundays, thinking none of the unthinkable things, or mentioning any people and places they might be in doing stuff with creepy greasy gits.
Too much thinking, or concentrating too hard on not thinking about things you'll think anyway was too hard. Made people lose focus and start moping, like so many seemed to be these days. It was always best to concentrate on the bright side of life.
"We should plan something grand for Harry's birthday." Ron was sure a big party would cheer everyone up.
"I agree. He's been under too much stress lately. I was kind of thinking we could throw him a party right here at the Broomsticks," said Hermione. "Terry and I already talked about it a few days ago."
"Oh, cool!" This way the thing was bound to go all right. Ron knew Terry was excellent at organizing parties from years of experience.
Hermione nodded. "It's the least we can do. He's been so stressed out lately he needs to relax." She didn't think it would be wise to say that Harry would probably prefer a quiet weekend back at Hogwarts.
They wouldn't plan a huge and public party, just a thing for their housemates and friends. It would be fun. Maybe they could have the Weird Sisters perform or something. They probably would, for Harry.
Mind already racing with ideas, Ron grabbed his glass and sipped his juice while trying to think of something cool for Harry. He couldn't really afford a big present, so he'd make sure the party was the best they'd ever had.
He saw a familiar face on the other side of the room and grinned, raising his glass and saluting Terry Boot.
Of all the Ravenclaws he knew, Terry was the best. Ron really liked hanging out with Terry now that he didn't have to be all Head Boy all the time and encourage creepy things like studying.
Too bad he seemed to be kind of interested in Hermione. He would have made a lot better boyfriend for Harry than someone Ron could have mentioned. Not that he would mention anyone.
He had to wonder how much energy it would take to obliviate himself.
On the short walk to Hogwarts, while Ron listened to Hermione babble with Terry, he had to admit that he liked the Ravenclaw for another reason as well. Sometimes Terry seemed to have problems with the Slytherins, and it was nice to see that he wasn't the only one to have darker feelings towards them.
Not that he had feelings! Just a shiver of disgust when he saw Malfoy lurking around in the shadows as usual. Mild nausea as he saw Harry appear from a side door a moment before Snape, looking well rested and happy.
"Morning Harry." Hermione's voice was chipper. "You look good. Slept well?"
Ron almost made a nasty comment before remembering he really shouldn't gag in front of others. He didn't want anyone to know about Harry being insane with Snape of all people.
Not even bothering to moderate his bright smile, Harry nodded. "Yup. You don't look so bad yourself."
"Well, thank you." Casting pointed looks at both Ron and Terry, Hermione asked, "Has anyone seen Lavender?"
Being a gentleman, Terry didn't comment on the change of subject and escorted Hermione to where the other girls were gathering. Ron on the other hand couldn't have cared less about being nice and letting Harry bask in the happiness alone.
What kind of a friend would he be if he didn't try to look after a mate?
"So... everything's all right then?" He didn't want to know details, but he had to ask. Merlin knew no one else was about to. Hermione seemed to think everything was all right already. Remus was probably more worried about Sirius, who wouldn't ask anything fearing someone actually answered.
Harry looked at his friend, his smile waning a bit. "I don't know what you want me to say, Ron." He didn't want a repetition of yesterday's discussion where Ron had made his opinion clear once again.
That was tricky; Ron had no idea either. "I..." He didn't want to know anything about... that! But he worried about Harry.
"I worry about you." Truth was always the simplest thing to say.
Grinning, Harry slapped Ron's shoulder. "And you call Sirius mother hen. Come on, Ron. I'm fine. I'm better than fine." He thought for a moment and then admitted, "Happy."
Ron tried to think of something to say, something that didn't involve the words 'are you insane?' or spluttering. He couldn't think of anything.
Fortunately he didn't have to.
"Mr. Potter." Voice quiet, McGonagall called out as she stepped next to them. "The Headmaster wishes to see you in private."
Harry nodded, glad that he didn't have to fight with Ron about Snape right now. Actually, he'd be perfectly happy never to have to go through that conversation again. "Yes, professor."
He even managed a slightly apologetic smile at Ron as he followed after McGonagall.
Ron stared after Harry and McGonagall, wondering what that was all about. There were so many things it could be about and trying to guess would be a waste of time. He'd probably hear about it later on.
Sighing, he turned to go and find Hermione, and almost stumbled into Malfoy and Zabini who were standing by the wall, talking quietly. Zabini's startled yelp stopped the angry words on Ron's lips, but he still glared at Malfoy. Damn him and that weary look in his eyes!
There was still something about the bastard that made Ron's hands itch.
He would have to deal with that soon.
Harry kept trailing after McGonagall, not particularly worried about what Dumbledore wanted to talk. Even though McGonagall kept her silence, it didn't feel cold like the time she'd escorted him and Ron to hear about killings.
Of course thinking about that made Harry's stomach churn.
"Professor... Is something wrong?" His steps faltered as he saw the familiar gargoyle.
McGonagall turned to look at him, surprise clear on her face. Then realization dawned on her. "Oh I'm sorry, Mr. Potter. I didn't think... No. It's nothing like that." She managed to smile at him. "I do apologize."
He couldn't be upset at her. "It's okay." It felt like the answering smile on his lips was at least slightly goofy, but he didn't really mind.
The trip up the turning stairwell was familiar, but Harry tried to stay alert and keep a few paces behind professor McGonagall. He didn't want to make it seem too obvious, but didn't want to make her uncomfortable by standing too close.
It was somehow weird to do this without either Snape or Sirius and Remus in the room. Harry hesitated for a moment at the door, simply watching as McGonagall went to sit by the wall. Even with a small group in the room, it seemed cold and empty.
He was almost glad that these meetings today would be amongst the last they would hold here. The Order was getting too big to be gathered here anymore and it wasn't safe to travel even this short distance every day for meetings.
The crowd here today was different from usual. None of the older members of Order were attending, actually as Harry looked around the room he could see there were no Order members here at all, just people he hardly recognized. Only when one of the wizards present pulled a parchment from under his robes and wrote down something frantically did he realize that these were the same people who had lined the road here every day, asking questions and begging for comments.
There were also those who had been overly interested in him and Malfoy.
His back stiffened, and he turned to glare at Dumbledore. What the hell were these reporters doing here?
"I have asked you here today to discuss the interest you have been showing at Hogwarts and Mr. Potter these past few days." Dumbledore looked around the room.
That made Harry blink.
He wasn't sure he wanted to even hear this. The pathetic recount of his childhood had already made his blood boil -- and people look at him with barely hidden pity in their eyes. The mess with Malfoy was mostly ridiculous, but he didn't really want to talk about that either.
But would Dumbledore look so serious if it was just about stupid rumors? Harry glanced at McGonagall, the need to see the expression on the Head of his House as instinctive now as it had been when he'd still been in his early teens. He didn't like what he saw.
One of the reporters was writing furiously, his quill scratching against the parchment.
Another cleared her throat. "Begging your pardon, sir, but we do have the right to publish facts about any member of our world. Even Mr. Potter." She flashed a fawning look at Harry.
Who was definitely not impressed. "From what I've heard this far, your facts are Muggle bashing and speculations about my love life."
No one cared to actually comment on that.
Dumbledore waited for a moment before continuing, "No matter how... distasteful some of the stories have been, they have been harmless. Until now." There was a hint of steel in his gaze.
That made Harry tense. Stupidity never made Dumbledore look like that.
"I must say I found today's articles both offensive and rude." McGonagall's voice was full of barely hidden disgust. "Not only the things that were written. I can not even imagine how someone would dare to pursue such a story."
Harry had no idea what that had been about. He still wouldn't read any of the papers, and for some reason his friends hadn't commented on anything for a few days. Of course he hadn't really been home this morning.
Some of the reporters actually looked embarrassed.
Breaking the short silence, Dumbledore nodded, "I would have to agree on that. Such behavior at a Muggle funeral was truly disgraceful."
The words made Harry flinch. He looked up from his hands, completely shocked. "You went and talked to my relatives at Aunt Petunia's..." He couldn't even finish the sentence. Seeing the way none of the reporters would meet his gaze, he closed his eyes in pain.
It didn't matter that his uncle and cousin never wanted to see him again. He could understand that. He wouldn't want to see him either if he was either of them. It didn't matter that he still could only feel guilt for not feeling any kind of grief over his aunt's death. The Dursleys had lost someone dear to them, and the wizarding world had once again interfered with their lives, making everything worse.
He knew it must have been awful for them to try to collect what was left of their lives after the attack. Number 4 Privet Drive was uninhabitable. According to Hermione, the Muggle press had made a huge number out of the whole thing as well, writing about a probable terrorist attack. It had taken the investigators and the coroners forever to release Aunt Petunia to be buried.
And now this.
"There will be no more interviews. No harassing my Muggle relatives." Harry was surprised of how calm his voice sounded. "You will not come anywhere near me or my friends, not here, not in Hogsmeade."
He felt hollow somehow, didn't want this group anywhere near his home.
His words caused loud protests and yells. Every reporter raised their voice, reminding him of the freedom of press and quoting wizard laws.
"I don't give a damn. You are not welcome in Hogsmeade anymore." It was final. If Dumbledore wanted him to organize the Order into a real army, he couldn't do it with the press everywhere. Harry glanced at the Headmaster, the message clear in his gaze. Dumbledore wanted him to make decisions? Well here was one.
Everyone turned to look at the old wizard, looking expectant. One of the reporters even called out his name, quill ready to catch a quote as soon as he said something.
Dumbledore thought for a moment, his gaze moving slowly over the people waiting. "This isn't a simple matter. I have always thought that Hogwarts is a public place, so we have nothing to hide..."
That made the small group of reporters mutter happily.
"However, Hogsmeade is not school grounds." The small village had always been considered a part of Hogwarts, being governed by the Headmaster. It was mostly an ancient custom with no basis in law or current business. "I would have to say it's Harry's decision. No reporters or photographers allowed in Hogsmeade."
There were many reasons for that. Whether they wanted it or not, they were at war. Allowing daily columns to be written of their main base would be too stupid for even the wizarding world.
Before the outraged babble could grow into a full blown shouting match, he added, "I know Minister Fudge will agree with Harry on this. He might even declare the Ministry as off grounds for the duration of our struggle against Voldemort."
The protests stopped as if the sound had been cut by a knife.
Harry felt relief mix with the disgust. Casting one more look at the reporters, he muttered, "And this is what we're willing to die for." It made him want to laugh hysterically. Ideals were one thing, but the reality was never as easy to care about.
Nodding slightly, Dumbledore muttered back, "It is indeed."
The group of reporters looked like first year Hufflepuffs after their first Potions class as they left the Headmaster's office. There was a very satisfying slam as the door closed after them.
There was a brief silence before Dumbledore said, "I do apologize."
Harry didn't really know what he was apologizing for and he didn't want to ask. Apologies didn't change anything, they didn't win the war and they most certainly wouldn't make the Dursleys' loss any less poignant. "Don't bother." It didn't come out exactly the way he'd intended, but even the rather startled look on McGonagall's face didn't make him apologize his tone.
That wouldn't change anything either.
Pushing away both the irritation and the slight twinge of guilt, Harry asked, "So when will the new headquarters be ready?" As important as the housing projects were, this was even more important.
Harry understood Dumbledore's reluctance to use the school as a training ground, but he still wanted to get on with the whole thing. After reading about various conflicts in the wizarding world, he knew that sometimes war was all about negotiations, but this was one war that would be won or lost on the battlefield.
That meant actual training and a real war council.
Dumbledore shook his head slowly. "It shouldn't take more than a few days now."
"Good." Harry nodded.
It was about time.
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