Fic: No Hiding Place book Three: The Cottage (28/28)

[sua_lay]

Title: No Hiding Place: Book Three: The Cottage (28/28)
Author: Rimau Sua Lay
Rating: overall NC-17, Angst, Drama, Action/Adventure, First Time
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Harry/Snape, Ron/Draco, (Sirius/Remus)
Date: December 2002 - ?
Disclaimers: Not mine, borrowed without permission, am not making any money. Please don't sue. Sherbet Lemon?
Summary for Book Three: -Does being a good guy mean you also have to be a nice guy? Draco is about to find out. Companionable silences and fist fights are a good way to hide deeper emotions.
Warning: This part contains mild violence, explicit sex between men, confusion about sex (not non-con really!) and as you can guess, angst.

The earlier parts of the fic can be found here.

Part 28

Eppy was standing at the doorway, looking as forbidding as ever. She surveyed the dining room before entering. Carrying the tray to the table, she banged it down, not even wincing as the spoons and cups rattled against the plates.

The sound was surprisingly loud in the utter silence.

Pushing his food around the plate, Harry tried not to pay attention to the very uncomfortable atmosphere in the room. He wasn't at all hungry, unlike Ron, who seemed to be shoveling his food with fervor. He just couldn't eat, dreading the moment they'd have to leave this place and go back into the real world.

It had felt like such a long time when they'd left Hogwarts; months away from the bustle of their everyday life. Even when they'd already spent weeks here, it had felt like an eternity. The weather had gradually changed when spring turned into summer, the days feeling as long and relaxing as ever.

Harry had known all along that they'd eventually go back to Hogwarts, had been aware of the date for some time now, but now that the day had arrived, he was stunned.

They were really going to leave.

Reality. That was what Snape had said. As if all these weeks spent here were only a dream. Harry wanted to argue that, but couldn't. The peace and quiet had been lulling him into the false notion of security. Like this was a refuge from everything that was wrong in his life.

A dream. A really nice dream. But all the good dreams ended when you woke up.

He'd always felt amused by people who lived in their own illusions, and now he found out he'd been immersed in one as well. The peace and quiet here were nothing more but a mirage, his time together with Snape a fantasy.

That was something he didn't want to think about. Things would change when they were back in Hogwarts and he would have to decide what to do next. There would be exams and Order meetings. Their world expecting him to be something he could never truly be.

Snape would have a job to do and he would go back to his life. The solitude of the dungeons, the annoyance of grading papers, his old passion, brewing potions. Would there be any chance for him to be a part of that life?

It was clear that Snape didn't think so.

Next to him, Ron leaned back, letting out a satisfied sigh. Harry didn't have to wonder why. He already knew how glad Ron was to get back to where he belonged.

He missed his family and was probably bored to tears already. He wouldn't miss this. If anything, he'd probably try to suppress everything that had happened here from his mind.

It wouldn't be too difficult. There would be lots of things to do back at the school. People to talk to.

Harry pushed his food around. Yes. There would be lots of people who would expect things from him, the whole wizarding world waiting breathlessly for him to save them from Voldemort. The Ministry, Dumbledore, reporters and multitudes of ordinary wizards and witches all seeing him in a different light, but sharing one thing; the interest. The conviction that he was indeed going to be the greatest hero of all times.

He hated that. To him, this felt like a place where he could belong. He liked everything here; the small cottage, the silence. If he had more time, he'd try to really befriend the snake. See if he could de-gnome the whole garden and maybe even plant something. Keep a crup. Go swimming on lazy summer afternoons. Spend quiet evenings doing nothing special, then retiring, snuggling close to Snape.

Simple wishes, none of which would come true.

Stifling a suffering sigh, he stabbed at his food with the fork. He didn't want to sit here and pretend he was eating. He would have preferred staying upstairs or in Snape's room. But Snape had insisted they all came here to eat.

He could see the reason behind it. Leaving the small room had been hard enough. He'd have to focus now, to eat, or at least pretend he was indeed eating. Then stay in the living room until the floo opened and they would have to leave.

Harry noticed Malfoy didn't have much of an appetite either. He could well guess why. Returning to Hogwarts wasn't easy for the Slytherin either. At least Harry knew what would happen when he went back; Malfoy didn't.

As if sensing his stare, Malfoy looked up at him for a second before returning his attention back at the plate.

He looked oddly hesitant, almost apologizing. No trace of his arrogance evident. There was no fawning and cringing either.

Ron might hate him, but Harry wasn't sure he could. Not when he could so clearly see that Malfoy was definitely not gloating.

It was too much for Harry to think about right now. Later on, he'd probably spend hours wondering what to do with Malfoy and how they could use his knowledge in the fights, if he agreed to work with the Order.

But not now. Thinking about strategy like that would have to wait. Harry was concentrating on surviving the day.

Maybe it had been stupid to grow so close to Snape. He'd never been so painfully aware of that as he'd been earlier, when he'd pulled his trousers back on, knowing that this was indeed the last time they had shared the bed. The thought had driven him to hug Snape and it had been one of the hardest things ever to let go.

Harry couldn't regret any of the moments he'd spent with Snape, but was well aware that lusting after the man would have been so much easier to bear than losing this.

He sighed, pushing his food around the plate again. He wished this was over with, at the same time dreading the moment they'd really have to leave.

Ron was the first one to lower his utensils. He wiped his mouth on a napkin -- instead of his sleeve -- and sat back, waiting for the others to finish. He seemed impatient, eager to leave already.

Not that Harry could really resent him for that.

It was useless. He wasn't going to finish his meal. He hadn't taken more than a few bites anyway. Harry cast a sideways look around the table, seeing that Malfoy had barely touched his food either.

Their last dinner here, and the memory of it would be of complete misery. Reminding Harry of all the uncomfortable moments they'd shared, almost drowning all the joy he'd experienced.

He pushed the thought away. There would be enough time to angst over the whole thing later on. He didn't want to spoil their last moments here by wallowing.

The kitchen door banged open, making everyone jump. The silence in the small dining area had become almost a vacuum. The loud sound was startling, even though it was expected; it was a very efficient way for an old house elf to make an annoyed entrance.

Muttering to herself, Eppy gathered the plates. She seemed to be making more noise than usual, almost careless with the cups as she piled them on the tray.

Her ears were twitching nervously as she waited for Draco to push his plate closer, the delay obviously annoying her more than usual. The endless stream of barely heard muttering turned harsher. None of the words were really recognizable but their meaning was clear.

When the tray was finally laden and the old house elf had wiped crumbs and spilled liquid from the table with a rag, she stood there, staring at everyone.

It was clear that there was something she really wanted to say.

Harry was certain there would be a scolding. She'd held her tongue so often, she was bound to let it all out now that they were leaving.

Instead of letting out a string of annoyed words, Eppy just stood there, her ears twitching faster. Her long nose was joining the twitch, making her look like she was trying some kind of an ancient dance of irritation. Then she opened her mouth as if to say something.

Nothing intelligible came out. Raising the rag to her face, she started to cry. "Eppy doesn't want you to go!" Her whole being shook as she finally wailed the words out.

Looking shocked, Harry stared at the crying house elf. He blinked as she blew her nose on the already moist rag. "Um... Eppy?" He glanced around the table, noticing that all the others looked as stunned as he was.

She didn't pay any attention to him. Shaking even more, she wiped her face in the rag. "Eppy doesn't want you to go! Eppy doesn't want to stay here alone with nothing to do! Eppy doesn't even mind you making a mess!" Another moist sound as she blew her nose again.

"Eppy?" Harry tried to catch her attention. He had no idea what to say. Maybe he could assure her that he'd talk to Dumbledore about her or maybe he could ask if the Weasleys could use a house elf. Maybe Remus would know someone who'd need a grouchy helper like Eppy.

Before he could actually voice any of his thoughts, Eppy crumpled her rag and shoved it under her tunic. Her ears lifted slightly as she muttered, "Eppy is a damn fool!" Casting a glare around the room, she grabbed the tray and wobbled out of the small room.

Leaving four stunned wizards staring after her.

Harry sighed. He knew exactly how Eppy felt. He didn't want them to leave either.

"I trust no one else has the need for such a display." Pushing his chair back, Snape got to his feet. He glared until he saw the teenagers shake their head. "Good. It's time we left this place. Go and get your trunks." The black robes billowed as he left the room.

It reminded everyone of the way he always entered the Potions class.

Harry hated it.

They were going to leave. There was nothing here for them anymore, they all knew it. All the trunks were already packed, and it almost seemed as if the small cottage was about to fall asleep again.

Ignoring the glare Ron threw at him, Harry let out a suffering sigh. Then he pushed his chair back. "I think we'd better get our stuff." He knew he sounded resigned, but couldn't help it.

He walked silently out of the dining area, knowing he wouldn't be coming back. The firmly shut door on the opposite side of the small hallway was beckoning for him, but he knew that this time he wouldn't be welcome. With another sigh, he turned to climb up the stairs.

Everything reminded him of the ending of an era. Their room was empty, there weren't even lonely socks under the beds anymore.

Grabbing his trunk and hauling it up, he didn't look back when he walked out of the room. He'd had such nightmares in here, but also good nights, and he hated to leave.

He was going to do this right and stay in control. It had already been so damn hard to kiss Snape goodbye, knowing it was probably the last kiss they'd share.

The thought made him want to drop the trunk and run to Snape's room. Even as his fingers flexed, ready to lose their grip on the handle, the door downstairs opened, and Snape marched across the hallway into the living room, pushing his shrunken trunk into his pocket.

Harry froze on the stairs. They were about to leave this all too brief moment of peace behind, and he'd needed to hold onto it for a moment longer. And now it was too late.

He should never have agreed to share things with Snape for as long as they stayed here. He'd ignored the implications then, so damn sure that he'd manage to continue this back at Hogwarts. Even now, there was a faint glimmer of hope somewhere at the back of his mind, driving him insane.

They hadn't spoken about it, not the way they'd always been able to talk about everything. Snape had seemed content with the silence, and he'd been too damn scared to say anything. He had no idea why. It would have been best to tell Snape he wanted more of this. That he wanted more.

Afternoons spent in bed. Arguing about things. Spending quiet evenings doing nothing special.

Harry heard Ron stagger down the stairs behind him, and forced himself to move. One step at the time, he walked downstairs and then into the living room. Resisted the urge to say something stupid when he saw Snape sit on the couch with Malfoy next to him.

"Did you make sure you didn't leave anything under the beds?" Snape asked. He knew how messy Harry could be, and could only guess how much worse Weasley was. Considering the way he left his magazines and books laying all around the house, he was probably a complete slob in his own room.

There were two identical nods.

Snape handed a small vial to Harry, "Sprinkle a few drops over your trunk. That should be enough." The instructions came out with a clipped tone, as if he was back in the classroom.

He could see the flinch his words produced and suppressed a sigh. This would be painfully awkward. Maybe he should have stayed in his room instead of distancing himself and focusing on what would happen next so that Harry could have made the unavoidable big emotional scene there. In private.

This would have to do. Harry would undoubtly say something incredibly Gryffindor now that they didn't have any time for one final tumble in bed. Then they would go back to where they belonged, and very soon this would just be a distant memory for all of them.

Not a completely disgusting and appalling memory, but a memory nevertheless. He would not try to bury it under work and pretend as if this had never happened.

How curious.

When he'd agreed on hiding here with his students, he'd known it wouldn't be easy, but he'd had no idea of how foolish the three would turn out to be. It was incredible, considering he knew just how stupid teenagers could be. But he'd never thought of this.

That's why it would be good to return to his dungeons. Away from Ron Weasley's haunted expression and the horrified looks he always seemed to throw at him. It would be peaceful in Hogwarts; no students, no time to simply sit idly and watch gnomes stampede all over the garden. No surprisingly intelligent conversations with Harry.

He refused to even think about what else he wouldn't be sharing with Harry Potter.

It would be a good thing to stop this madness. Returning to Hogwarts meant returning to the routines he had followed for decades. To the world where he was a teacher, a member of the Order. He would continue his work in peace and would let the others do the same.

It was getting darker outside, the clouds that had gathered over the small cottage releasing a warm shower of rain that tapped the windows in an almost soothing pattern. The ticking of the clock sounded unusually loud, as all the four men sat in the living room, waiting. When the floo finally opened, Harry, Ron and Draco all jumped slightly at the wooshing sound.

"All right. Get ready to floo out of here." With a last glance around the room, knowing that he for one had not left anything behind, Snape got to his feet.

He watched the teenagers move sluggishly towards the fireplace. The sight made him sneer. There were some things he was definitely not going to miss from his stay here.

"Ready, sir," Draco muttered from under his breath. He was torn between wishing they could stay and wishing they would go already. If they really had to leave this place, he preferred doing so without any last minute hysterics from Weasley.

Ron cast a glare at the Slytherin, but didn't make any comments. "I'm ready too, sir."

There was an awkward silence.

Since this was unavoidable, Snape turned to look at Harry, who was still standing by the couch, looking reluctant to move.

The gaze that met his was full of sadness. Snape had been expecting that, wondering when he would break. But amazingly there was a hard expression on Harry's face, indicating that there would be no sniveling and hysterics.

"I wish we could stay here," Harry said.

To his surprise, Snape could relate to that. He knew what would wait for them at Hogwarts; not only routine and familiarity. "I know you do. But it's time to go." It came out quietly.

He didn't even bother to try to sound annoyed for Weasley's and Malfoy's sake.

Nodding, Harry looked down, not saying anything. He knew they'd already said goodbye, but he wished he had the courage to simply lean forward and kiss the annoying man one more time.

He had an awful feeling that once they left the cottage, he would somehow lose Snape completely. It was an irrational fear, but he couldn't help it. He always lost everything dear to him. Why would this be any different?

On the other side of the room, Ron was trying hard not to gag. He kept glaring at Malfoy, glad that they would finally be rid of the Slytherins. He for one would not be missing this place. The sooner they got back to where they belonged the better.

He watched with anticipation as Snape walked closer to the fireplace. Hopefully the trip back to Hogwarts wouldn't take as long as their voyage here. There was no need for the secrecy anymore, the hiding here was over.

"I'll go first." Not bothering to explain the obvious reason for that, Snape waited until everyone nodded. "Try not to make a total mess of the flooing."

The faint smile on Harry's face was more pained than happy.

"Fawkes' Nest!"

The flash of green took Snape away and the room felt bigger somehow, as if it was easier to breathe. Ron smiled broadly, ignoring Malfoy. Then he met Harry's gaze and the smile died on his lips.

"I'll go next." Harry's voice was hollow. For once, he didn't care what would happen between Ron and Malfoy. He couldn't stay here for a moment longer.

Taking a better hold on his shrunken trunk, he went to take some of the floo powder.

He did his best not to think of anything as he tossed the powder down and said the code word for yet another safe house.

The floo network sent him flying across the distance, making him dizzy once again. He didn't usually pay attention to the sensation, used to it after all the times he'd flood between the dungeons and the common room. Now he was feeling light headed. Had to be because of the months he'd spent not using the floo.

Coughing, Harry stepped out of the fireplace. Expecting to see only Snape standing alone there, he froze for a fraction of a second as he saw a dark figure sitting on a couch while Snape was almost next to him. The next moment his hand was reaching for his wand, the words of a curse already on his lips. It was an instinct, even though he did know that if there had been a real danger, Snape would have taken care of it.

"It's all right. It's just me." Soft words rang in the room, the voice slightly alarmed.

"Hermione?" Lowering his wand, Harry grinned. "What are you doing here?" It was the first really happy moment today; seeing her was great.

Hermione stood up and came to hug Harry. "The Headmaster sent me. He thought it was best to spend the night here. Everyone's busy back home, packing and planning on the move." She paused for a moment, drawing in breath. "It's good to see you again!"

"Good to see you too, Hermione." Harry smiled as he let go of her. The weeks at the cottage had been great but he had really missed her.

A moment later, Ron came out of the fireplace, coughing slightly. His face was beet red. Harry wondered if Malfoy had said something to him. It didn't sound plausible, but you never knew with him.

"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed, moving to hug him too. There was no hesitation in either one of them; they just held on to each other for a long time.

Harry watched those two with a smile on his lips. It had sometimes felt weird to spend time without Hermione around. The part of him that was still incredibly happy about his friendship with Ron and Hermione deemed everything to be all right again. The thought made him glance to his left, to Snape, who was looking at the two hugging Gryffindors with a slight sneer on his lips.

Yes, everything was back to normal.

Harry hated it.

"Potter." Seeing that Harry was focusing at him, Snape moved closer to him. "According to Miss. Granger, the Headmaster wishes to see me right now. You and Mr. Weasley will stay here with her for the night and return to Hogwarts tomorrow. I shall leave immediately with Mr. Malfoy." He thought it would be best not to leave the boy with the Gryffindors.

It made Harry freeze inside. He had known that going back to Hogwarts would change things, but he wasn't ready to part from Snape yet. "Oh." The small sigh was full of disappointment.

"Yes." Snape nodded. He was actually glad that Albus had sent him the message. This way there would be no big emotional scene at Hogwarts. Harry could stay with his friends and he could go back to the life he'd built for himself.

He waited patiently until young Malfoy came out of the fireplace. Telling the boy what they would do was easy. Malfoy never objected to what he said.

"Good bye professor Snape." From the tone of her voice, it was clear that Hermione had not forgotten that Snape had saved McGonagall's life. She managed to sound completely calm, respectful. Not exactly the way they had addressed the Potions master in the past.

The muffled grunt Ron let out could be interpreted as a farewell too. He didn't pay any attention to Malfoy.

"Good bye, Miss. Granger. Mr. Weasley." Ignoring the hesitant smile and the second grunt, Snape turned back to look at Harry.

It always amazing him how bad Harry was at hiding his emotions. No matter how he tried to look calm and composed, his eyes always betrayed him. Snape hadn't expected to see such amount of sadness there. Like he was actually losing something that was precious to him.

They would still be comrades in arms, no matter what. Weeks of physical intimacy couldn't change that. He doubted Harry would even think about their time together after he'd settled in with his friends again.

Harry smiled a wobbly little smile. "Tell the Headmaster about my dreams." He saw the instant nod. It didn't really make him feel any better. "I'll be... seeing you, then." It came out as a hesitant question instead of the quip he'd aimed for.

"I don't doubt it at all," Snape said, missing the level of sarcasm he'd aimed for. He didn't have the energy to even sneer. Right now, he just wanted to get back to Hogwarts and try to forget all the lunacy he'd got himself into during the past few months. No matter how impossible that might be.

A quick nod towards Malfoy was enough, and a moment later they both disappeared into green flames, leaving the three Gryffindors alone in the room.

Trying to keep the pain out of his face, Harry stood there, staring into the empty fireplace.

---

The End of Book Three.

Author's note: Am still polishing book 4 (two parts I'm not totally happy with), and then shall shove it to my betas. That means it'll be a while till I start posting, but I'm hoping it won't take ages... I'm not promising a certain date, but shouldn't be further than September.

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OMGS!!! It's... the END!!!!

*packs bags and leaves the country*

:P~~~