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sua_layAuthor: Rimau Sua Lay
Rating: overall NC-17, Angst, Drama, Action/Adventure, First Time
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Harry/Snape, Ron/Draco, (Sirius/Remus)
Date: December 2002 - ?
Disclaimers: Not mine, borrowed without permission, am not making any money. Please don't sue. Sherbet Lemon?
Summary for Book Three: -Does being a good guy mean you also have to be a nice guy? Draco is about to find out. Companionable silences and fist fights are a good way to hide deeper emotions.
Warning: This part contains mild violence, explicit sex between men, confusion about sex (not non-con really!) and as you can guess, angst.
The earlier parts of the fic can be found here.
It wasn't really dark yet.
The sun was setting, turning the whole world into amber and gold. It looked nice, the horizon almost burning.
Draco sat on his bed, staring off into the distance. He hadn't really ever watched the sunset before. Not like this, in peace, all alone in his room, focusing on the magnificent sight.
He was a bit amazed of how profound it felt. Like it was actually somehow meaningful to sit here and look at something that was an everyday occurrence. He'd read about this, of course; sunsets, sunrises, people wasting time on staring at the sky, wishing upon a star. It had always sounded completely ridiculous to him.
Yet here he was.
It wasn't completely intentional. He hadn't just decided he'd retire early so he could watch the sun set, he wasn't that frivolous.
He's spent the day inside, as always, mostly reading. Playing solitaire with the cards Weasley and Potter had left in the living room when they'd gone out for a walk. He'd even volunteered to wash the dishes after dinner just so that he would have something to do.
They had been here for weeks. At first Draco hadn't really cared what they did and what happened. The day he'd turned against the Dark Lord -- and he was still in awe of how easily Potter called him by his name -- could have been his last. That thought had carried him for a long time.
Now he was just bored.
He'd watched the Gryffindors study for the Potions exam, and felt a bit envious. They actually seemed to fill their time with reading. To him, it was more about revising things he'd already known.
It had always been a part of his problem. Not that he'd ever really thought of it as a problem before. He'd always had everything he'd ever needed or wanted. Money could buy almost anything and he'd never lacked funds. His upbringing had focused on duty and he'd always listened what his father had said.
Life in Hogwarts had been full of excitement. Not the studying; he'd always focused on the subjects, listened in class and done his homework. He didn't have to spend all his free time reading. Evenings had been full of intrigue, politics and scheming. Figuring out how to win the Quidditch Cup and the House Cup, or if the chances of winning were slim, they had to think of a way to prevent Gryffindor from winning. That had been serious business.
Scheming inside the Slytherin House had been more recreational. Everybody knew the games, everybody played.
The situation here was completely different. No need to scheme for a high position amongst them, since it was already clear that Snape was indeed the person everyone had to obey here. There were no one to scheme against, nothing to gain.
Draco missed some of the old times, some of his housemates. The way they had all been when he'd been younger, when everything had been relatively innocent.
At least then he'd had people to talk to. Things to do.
Earlier today, he'd had to spend hours alone while Potter and Weasley had frolicked outside. They'd gone swimming again, leaving the cottage looking rumpled and coming back refreshed. Looking disgustedly happy.
There was a change. For some time both of them had looked sad or grumpy, and at least then Draco hadn't felt like he was totally alone in his misery.
He was tired of spending his time alone. Snape was always there to assist him or accompany him outside, but he didn't feel like he could really ask him to go and make sure he was safe while he bathed or simply walked around. Whenever the Head of his House offered, he felt obliged to decline. He didn't want to be a charity case.
It wouldn't be so annoying if he didn't have to watch Potter and Weasley. They didn't even do anything special, but they had each other to talk with. He couldn't really remember when he'd last talked with someone. People talked to him these days, not with him.
He could usually ignore the things that went on around him, but tonight he had been too tired to watch the others interact. Not only the friendship between the two annoying Gryffindors; even though it was petty, he couldn't help resenting Potter for the easy way he interacted with Snape. After days of weird silence, he was once again making comments to him, relaxing in his company.
It jarred Draco's nerves. Felt completely wrong.
It was best to stay up here. He refused to admit that he was hiding or anything, he simply needed some space and time alone.
A sarcastic smile curved his lips up. Why was it so damn important for him to keep up appearance, when no one was here to see or hear? It wasn't as if even he believed his own thoughts. He was totally miserable here, with the loneliness and boredom that were driving him insane.
The menial work didn't help; cooking and cleaning and carrying wood. He was cooped up in a tiny hovel with two people he hated the most and the only person in the whole world he might respect. One lousy house elf, who was probably older than Dumbledore and madder than Trelawney.
He almost wished the school term was over already.
There was nothing for him to really look forward to. Returning to Hogwarts meant more exams and then... Then nothing. All his grand plans had disappeared, he really had no future. Hiding behind Snape's robes? Not exactly the glorious fate he'd imagined, but the reality.
His world would be about survival, and nothing more. It sounded sort of liberating at times. Bloody depressing too.
The sun had finally gone down, and it was dark now. Draco didn't really like the dark. He'd never known just exactly how dark it could be out there before that night he and Potter had been sent to the Forest with just a lantern and a coward of a dog to hold all the darkness away.
He was a creature of comfort. There was always plenty of light around the mansion -- where he would probably never go back again -- and Hogwarts. No such lights here. No real thick walls to keep the nature at bay.
Draco pushed all thoughts of the possibility of storms out of his mind. He was not going to spend the whole night trying to scare himself half to death!
It would be best if he simply went through his evening routines and then went to bed.
Padding downstairs quietly, he couldn't help casting an annoyed look at the living room. How long could two people play that blasted game anyway? Muttering quietly to himself, he walked out of the door, steeling himself as he approached the outhouse. To think that a while back he'd never even heard of such a thing.
He definitely wished he never had.
As he returned to the cottage, he was already feeling the lassitude spread all over him. How on earth could he be so tired all the time when he didn't really do anything? He didn't actually care. At least when he slept, he didn't have to think so much.
Passing the doorway again, he cast another look in the living room. What a homey scene. He almost snorted at that.
The hint of a sound made Weasley look up from the board and glare at him. Draco plastered the smirk immediately in place. This was good. Weasley had been avoiding looking at him lately, and the rarity of the moment simply made it so much sweeter.
His only real pleasure here; teasing Ron Weasley. He didn't even have to do much work to make him bristle. No words, not even gestures, just the smiles.
It did make him feel better, always had. This little game didn't even have to lead to anything, it probably never would, but it was an excellent way to keep the boredom away.
Draco's smirk deepened as he realized that both Potter and Snape were too busy to notice him standing here. That meant he could actually take this to another level. Quirking up an eyebrow, he stared at Weasley, challenging him silently.
The way the redhead almost choked on his next inhale was gratifying.
Slipping away from the doorway and walking to the stairs before his professor could focus his glare at him, Draco let the moody thoughts vanish. At least there was one thing he could count on. One thing that could make his life almost pleasurable.
Ron tried to cover his spluttering into a cough. He could tell by Harry's questioning look that he wasn't exactly successful. Hating the expression on Snape's face, he concentrated on the chess board. Damn it! Why were the Slytherins always here? It would be so much nicer to spend time alone with Harry.
He didn't understand why Malfoy was still trying to get to him. The exams were over. Distracting him didn't really do anything except... Well, distract him. And annoy him. There were evenings when he wanted nothing more than to use Malfoy as a mop and wash the floor with him.
Something curbed his violent urges these days. Probably Snape's presence. He would not allow anything to happen to one of his precious Slytherins, especially one as sneaky and slimy as Malfoy.
Lying must be a second nature to Malfoy; inventing things that didn't exist, saying things that weren't even close to truth. Ron didn't want him! Never had, never would. His behavior that day had been because of shock. He'd frozen in horror. Kissing Malfoy? Damn, he had high opinions of himself.
Stupid, lying, sneaky... Muttering softly under his breath, Ron turned his mind back to the game.
It was their second one this evening. He'd won the previous one and knew already he wouldn't be losing this one either.
He scratched his ankle absentmindedly as he contemplated his move. Realizing what he was doing, he moved his hand away from his leg. Damn. He couldn't help it. The small bite mark itched sometimes. It really shouldn't bother him anymore, but it did.
For some reason, the very unpleasant tingling feeling seemed to sum up his whole life at the moment.
This whole mess. Staying here with no way out. All they could really do was to wait. Do chores and play various games. He was not going to read another book for at least a month. He was so damn tired of staying here that there were moments when he just wanted to scream.
Ron took a deep breath, not even realizing that his hand was once again rubbing against his ankle. He could handle the weeks they'd still have to stay here. He could handle anything knowing it wasn't going to last forever.
Then he'd go back home and try to forget creeps like Malfoy even existed. Leaving school meant that he'd never have to see the git again. He could hardly wait.
"Your turn."
Hearing Harry's quiet voice made Ron startle, and he made his move after contemplating it for a moment. He couldn't believe he'd actually lost all track of the game thinking about the damn Slytherin again.
But what else could he really think? He was always around. They were always around.
He refused to even glance at the couch where Snape was still sitting and reading a book. Ron could bet it was about potions. He didn't seem to care about anything else.
Well, that was actually not true. He did seem to care about potions, and making their life completely miserable from their first year on. That one thing hadn't changed in the almost seven years they'd been in Hogwarts.
His mother had always taught him to think good of people. With Snape, that was an impossibility.
It was bad enough that one of them seemed to harbor delusions about the git. Bad? No, disastrous, probably even bordering insanity.
Ron didn't like the way Harry still cast careful looks at Snape and how he always seemed to be so damn aware of his presence. He didn't care what Harry said about things being all right between him and their professor. He wasn't going to believe it.
Not when he could plainly see the glares and Harry acting so strangely around Snape. Who wouldn't? Any sane person would try to stay away from the git.
Damn greasy, evil man. Why couldn't he just give back their exams and put them out of their misery already?
The loud slam of a book being shut abruptly startled Ron so that he almost fell face first into the chess board. The small pieces yelled rude comments to him as he straightened his back again and cast an angry look at the other side of the room.
He ignored the way Snape swooped up. He'd never been impressed by the whole billowing robe act. It was scary as hell when you were just a kid, then it had become just a routine.
"I assume you are capable of turning down the lights on your own before you go to bed." The timbre in Snape's voice indicated that he wasn't exactly certain they could manage.
It was things like that that annoyed Ron the most. Not the open barbs, but the veiled ones. You could never really say anything back at them and not sound rude. Not that he'd ever say anything back at his professor. No one did.
Well, Harry used to. He used to get really angry and say things no one else ever dreamed of uttering in Snape's presence. He didn't do that anymore. Of course he still said stuff to Snape, but it didn't sound as angry anymore.
He was probably just getting really good at hiding his emotions. Ron was actually proud of it. If he was in Harry's position, with the Order kind of following his words and all, he'd definitely make Snape suffer. Or at least make sure he didn't insult them anymore.
"Of course we are," Harry said, his expression in shadows so that Ron couldn't really see it. "You can count on us." His voice sounded cheery.
Ron could almost feel the icy glare on his skin, but didn't look up at Snape.
With a soft displeased sound, the professor gathered his books and then walked out of the room.
It was as if the shadows had disappeared. Breathing more easily, Ron looked at Harry, astonished to see a real smile on his lips. Sometimes he really didn't get his friend at all.
Still, he couldn't help wondering what the silly smile was all about. "You look like someone just gave you all the Chocolate Frogs in the world."
"What?" Blinking, Harry looked at him. "Oh. Don't talk about chocolate!"
Ron grinned, knowing that there had to be some chocolate left in the kitchen. They hadn't used everything from Eppy's little storage. "How about if we talk about getting some?" He wondered what the shocked look on Harry's face was all about. "I know where to find exactly what we need." When the shock just got worse, he added, "Chocolate. I want some. Now."
"Chocolate! Yes. Of course." Laughing at some private joke, Harry doubled almost in half. "Sure. Lead the way!"
Shushing him to be quiet or else someone would hear, Ron motioned him to follow him to the kitchen. Sneaking around with Harry in tow was exactly what he wanted to do now. Spending the rest of the evening talking about whatever and munching chocolate would make the day perfect.
Author's note: Will not be around to update on Saturday, so the next parts will be posted on Sunday, then Tuesday and then will be gone for a week before will start posting again!
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Date: 2006-07-20 10:32 pm (UTC)This chapter was subtle. I enjoyed the play between Draco/Ron and Snape/Harry especially in this one. :D
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Date: 2006-07-23 12:58 pm (UTC)Heh, I wouldn't want to stay at the cottage with these four. Would probably want to smack them all on the head for being such blind fools...