Fic: No Hiding Place book Three: The Cottage (13/28)

[sua_lay]

Title: No Hiding Place: Book Three: The Cottage (13/28)
Author: Rimau Sua Lay
Rating: overall NC-17, Angst, Drama, Action/Adventure, First Time
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Harry/Snape, Ron/Draco, (Sirius/Remus)
Date: December 2002 - ?
Disclaimers: Not mine, borrowed without permission, am not making any money. Please don't sue. Sherbet Lemon?
Summary for Book Three: -Does being a good guy mean you also have to be a nice guy? Draco is about to find out. Companionable silences and fist fights are a good way to hide deeper emotions.
Warning: This part contains mild violence, explicit sex between men, confusion about sex (not non-con really!) and as you can guess, angst.

The earlier parts of the fic can be found here.

Part 13

After all the panic and last minute studying, the following days seemed like the most peaceful time in Harry's life. At least on the surface. Now that he and Ron had experienced the opposite of total boredom, neither minded the peace and quiet.

There wasn't much to do. The weather had turned from relatively nice to bleak again. It forced everyone inside. Not that it really mattered; they all seemed to be completely happy to be in their rooms. Snape was busying himself with various potions, not even issuing them chores. It was a relief, especially to Ron, even though he was anxious to get his exam back.

Only to see if he had passed.

Harry was glad of the quiet interlude. He didn't feel like concentrating on anything serious right now. He just wanted to spend time either with Ron or alone with his thoughts. It was easy, since Snape was staying in his room for most of the time. His absence was a paradox of relief and longing to Harry.

It was somehow nice to just be, even with his strange thoughts. At least he could now concentrate on them, not having to deal with distractions.

Playing wizard's chess became a good way to spend time again. It didn't matter that Ron usually won, Harry enjoyed the togetherness more than the game anyway. Whenever it wasn't raining, they would go out for a walk, never going very far, simply walking around.

They talked about ordinary things, not going back to the darker themes. It reminded them both about their first years at Hogwarts.

The evenings were still strained. Harry had trouble acting calmly with Snape, finding it harder to ignore his latest revelation. He couldn't completely evade Snape, knowing that would definitely make things worse. Didn't go seeking for his company either, fearing he'd do something stupid.

There was also something weird going on between Malfoy and Ron. Harry didn't really pay much attention to it, but he noticed there was a change. At least it was quiet now, their new battle fought with glares and smirks instead of the previous insults, yells and threats.

"Do you want to play more?" Still grinning because of his easy victory -- probably because there was no one here to distract him with the constant leering -- Ron nodded towards the chess board. They'd been playing for a few hours now, and they did have some time before lunch.

It wasn't bad to sit here in the living room with Harry. Malfoy was upstairs, and Snape had excused himself, muttering about an important potion he had to brew.

Ron had noticed a strange look between Harry and Snape as the professor had said that, but he'd decided not to comment on that. It would just ruin the day. He didn't really care. As long as they didn't have to see the Slytherins, everything was all right.

Groaning, Harry shook his head. "No thanks. I think I've been humiliated enough for one day." He actually enjoyed losing the game most of the time. At least Ron never let him win because of the whole fame thing.

It was fine with Ron. He wasn't in the mood for anything big now and they could just laze around. Wait for the scent of food spread through the whole cottage as Eppy busied herself with lunch.

He flopped on his back, staring at the ceiling. It was nice here. He could almost pretend he was here alone with Harry. That would be so cool. Better than having the Slytherins here. They somehow managed to annoy him even when they weren't present. Especially the one always watching him, like waiting for an opportunity to humiliate him again.

It was annoying! Ron almost wished Malfoy would make his next move, just so he could finally hit him or something. The constant smirking and the suggestive looks were driving him insane. Probably exactly what the git was aiming for.

The sound of raindrops hitting the windows was almost lulling him to sleep, driving thoughts of annoyance far away. Ron smiled slightly. He wasn't about to spoil the day thinking about Malfoy.

Right this moment, life was pretty good.

A few minutes later he frowned. Something was burning. There was no smoke in the air, but he could definitely smell something burning. Hoping it wasn't their lunch, he sat up, looking around. "What is that awful smell?"

Harry didn't even bother to sit up. He'd got used to this sensation months ago. "I'd say it's Veela hair. Burning Veela hair." He could tell by the weird sweet scent that lingered at the edge of his awareness. "Snape's probably working on something."

He had no idea what. He didn't really care. The smells were usually nice, even soothing.

To Ron, such an odor wasn't exactly pleasing. "Yeah. 'Making an important potion' my arse! I bet he's stalling on purpose, making us suffer." There was a lot of anxiety hidden behind the scorn as Ron quietly wondered if this delay was a sign of some of them actually failing the exam.

"I don't know, Ron. He does have things to make, you know?" Not that his friend would really get that. Harry hadn't really understood it himself before spending a lot of time in the dungeons.

Snape was undoubtedly working on various every day potions they might need, like the one he used to neutralize unpleasantries caused by the outhouse. He probably had something that would detect danger and of course he would be making more of the salve that was somehow shielding his Dark Mark.

"Yeah, right." Ron huffed. "Making us miserable."

Harry opened his mouth to deny that, but couldn't really say anything as a thought hit him. Maybe Snape was indeed stalling, but not for the reason Ron thought.

Soon, they would have to talk about the future. About things he didn't really want to think about. Before they had their results, they wouldn't really go into those things, simply lingering in the cottage, enjoying their free time.

He felt ridiculously warm inside. Why else would Snape stall the grading? He was very likely giving him time, and it was such a Snape thing to do; looking like one thing but being something quite different. Even something nice.

Seeing that Harry wasn't going to argue with him, Ron nodded again and lay down. He didn't really want to move anywhere before lunch.

Gathering around the table to eat about half an hour later, the four of them ate in relative peace. There was not much conversation, only sounds of munching and the occasional quiet comment about the food. Harry didn't have to look at Ron and Malfoy to know that there were once again glares thrown across the table.

It was better than Ron's barely veiled comments about the weird smells, so he didn't even kick his friend.

Eppy didn't bother to say anything as she brought the tea, joining the quiet choir of glaring with some of her own. She seemed to almost enjoy the oppressive attitude.

That didn't surprise Harry at all.

Not really thirsty, Harry stared at his tea cup, stirring the pale golden liquid with the spoon. He hoped it would stop raining so that he and Ron could go outside. Maybe they could even go bathing. He was running out of clean clothes, so maybe he should wash them as well.

"Gentlemen." It didn't surprise Snape that his quietly spoken word made Weasley drop his spoon. It seemed to be a habit by now. "I do believe the hallway could use some sweeping." If the three youngsters were unable to learn how to wipe their feet before entering the cottage, they'd just have to learn to sweep the floor more often.

Draco nodded immediately. "Yes, sir." He wasn't going to argue now. Not that he was about to start after getting back the exam either. Somehow all his cockiness seemed to vanish in front of Snape.

It made Harry share a gleeful glance with Ron. "And we will go and bathe," he added before anyone could assign duties for them.

There was a moment of tension as Ron bristled at Snape's instant approval. The fact that the man muttered, "I do believe that is an excellent idea, Potter," didn't help at all.

"Do you think you'll be finished with the grading any time soon?" There was a hint of a knowing smile in Harry's gaze, as if he knew something the others didn't.

Not saying anything, Snape nodded ever so slightly. He knew this meant Harry was ready to face his own role as a grown up. The thought rather boggled the mind, especially since he was forced to watch the childish games between young Weasley and young Malfoy.

Ron tried not to drop his spoon again. There was definitely a hollow feeling in his stomach.

After finishing his tea, Snape got to his feet. "I would appreciate it if you can stay out of trouble for the rest of the day. It will give me time to read your..." A malicious smirk spread to his face. "Well, what you would undoubtedly call intelligent answers." With that, he left the room. He didn't have to stall anymore but he was not going to hurry. Watching the youngsters squirm was too enjoyable.

He would have been delighted to see Harry, Ron and Draco. They all looked a bit green. Even Draco, who knew there was no way he could fail the exam felt a bit queasy.

Ron and Harry had to wait for some time before it stopped raining. Neither really minded. They were too busy gathering their clothes and tidying their room. Now that Snape was once again making noises about cleaning, they could well guess what would come next.

Crawling under his bed to retrieve three socks and a pair of used underwear, Ron sneezed. Yes. Maybe it was about the time to do some dusting here as well.

Malfoy was nowhere to be seen as they finally marched downstairs with bundles of clothes with them. It made Ron relax. He didn't want that git anywhere near him when he was naked. The mere thought was making him tingle with annoyance.

With that thought firmly in mind, he followed Harry to the stream.

It was actually fun to do the laundry. Even though Ron had sworn he would never ever wash clothes in his life again, he had to agree that this was seemed more like a game than hard work. Splashing around the magically warmed water, he had to swim after his socks a few times as the currents of the stream tried to carry them away.

Harry kept closer to the shore, never straying far from his wand. He washed his stuff quickly and then soaped himself, trying not to pay any attention to the fact that he still had some of Snape's potions with him. He must have carried them with him the last time they'd been here.

That was definitely not something he was going to start thinking about. Finished with the washing, he hid the small vials underneath his towel, not wanting to have Ron comment on them.

He was relaxing slowly, just letting the currents swirl against his skin. There would be some work to do later on -- at least to hang their clothes to dry -- but he wasn't going to fret about that right now. It was good to be spending time alone with Ron like this. It took him back to the simpler times, when he didn't have to worry about things all the time.

"Hey Harry! You think we could stay here for a while longer?" Ron wasn't in any hurry to go back to the cottage. He could stay here until his skin was as wrinkled as professor Flitwick's.

Smiling, Harry nodded. "Sure." It was nice and calm here, especially now that the dark clouds had disappeared.

He grabbed his wand to cast a small protection charm that would alert him if anyone approached the stream. They'd had too many scares here, even if there had been no intruders around. The paranoia so evident in the older members of the Order had finally rubbed into him.

Then he lay back, floating in the stream. Gaze unfocused, taking in the vastness of the blue sky, it was almost like dreaming. A dream he wanted to cling to for as long as he could.

Leaving the stream behind wasn't easy. It seemed that Ron was even more apprehensive than Harry, casting worried looks around him as they walked to the small clearing to hang their clothes to dry.

"Um..." Not even hiding his fear, Ron stood next to the clotheslines, keeping as far from the bushes as possible. "Harry? Do you think it's safe in here?" He still had only vague memories of walking back to the cottage after being bitten, but he could remember the fear and the pain.

Harry nodded. "Yes. The snake's nest is on the other side. Over there." He made a gesture with his hand. "Let's just stay away from there and make a lot of noise, so that we won't scare her if she's hunting. She can feel footsteps, you know."

"Yeah." Actually, Ron didn't have any idea of what Harry was talking about. He didn't remember things like that from their Care of the Magical Creatures classes. Well, it was good someone paid attention in class.

The dusk was setting as they made their way back to the cottage. Harry couldn't help feeling like he was coming home as he saw the light twinkling from the distance. A shadow passed over one of the windows downstairs, and he could guess who had been standing there, watching and waiting.

Dinner was already served. It was a quiet occasion, with only Harry, Ron and Malfoy eating. The days activities had mellowed Ron and for once he wasn't paying attention to Malfoy. He was too busy eating and wondering if Snape was already finished with their essays.

It was a thought that would have chased away his appetite if he wasn't so damn hungry.

Yawning, Ron pushed his chair back as soon as he'd finished with his meal. "You mind if I just go to bed? I'm too tired to do anything else today."

"No. Go ahead." Harry smiled absentmindedly. He wasn't in the mood for a game either. He'd stay downstairs and read for a moment, not feeling at all sleepy yet.

It would be nice to just be by himself and enjoy the silence; something he had never been able to share with anyone except Snape. He wouldn't mind his company. The silence with Snape was always nice, even now, when he was so aware of his presence. At least if they sat together in silence, he wouldn't have to worry about saying something stupid.

Being in the same room with Malfoy wasn't bad either, except when Ron was there. Then it was definitely annoying.

Harry could already feel a lessening of the tension. Not bothering to hurry up, he poured himself another cup of tea. He didn't pay much attention to Malfoy besides handing him the teapot.

After dinner, he padded to the living room and slumped on the couch, listening to the usual sounds coming from around him. Eppy was bustling around in the kitchen. There was the sound of dishes being carried around, followed by soft mutters. Malfoy had headed upstairs, and he could hear footsteps coming straight from above. Ron had gone out, and he couldn't help keeping an eye on the clock to make sure that he wasn't gone too long.

Slowly, the sounds faded away. First, the sound of footsteps ceased. Then Ron returned to the cottage, saying a hushed, "Night, Harry!" before climbing to their room.

Harry stretched out, letting the slim book he'd been browsing through fall on the couch next to him. He wasn't really interested in reading right now, it was enough to simply enjoy this moment.

The fire was burning low in the fireplace, sending a soft glow around the room. It was dark outside. The people in one of the paintings had disappeared somewhere, probably visiting the family in one of the larger paintings in the hallway upstairs. Nothing was moving, or making a sound.

Startled, Harry realized he felt completely happy. It was an almost foreign feeling. His mind was still, for once not working overtime to focus on all the nasty things that were going on in the world. Everything was simply about lying here all alone and luxuriating in the silence.

A part of him wanted to just stay here and maybe even sleep on the couch. It was nice and warm here, but he knew that sooner or later someone would come to see where he was, so he sat up slowly. It was best to make a short trip to the loo and then go to bed.

The lights were dimmed in the hallway. Harry stood there for a moment, casting a last longing look at the couch. Maybe he should ignore what the others would think and return there after all. His memory of sleeping there was one of the things that were making him feel happy. It would be perfect.

He turned around and almost stumbled into Snape, letting out a yelp. The hallway had been perfectly empty only seconds before!

Damn, the man always moved so quietly.

"Potter." Snape didn't even try to hide his amused exasperation. "I see you still haven't learned to pay attention to your surroundings." He'd noticed that Harry was quieter these days, lost in thought. It could be dangerous in the long run.

"Sorry." At least he hadn't been in a hurry as he'd collided into Snape. That would have been bad, especially if he'd tripped them both over and landed on the floor. Harry blinked at his thoughts, trying to banish any images of him and Snape sprawled on the floor. Not a good thought right now. Or ever, really.

The only response he got was a raised eyebrow. Nothing new there.

Looking a bit hesitant, Harry asked, "So, how is the grading?" He knew he should just go, but spending a few seconds alone with Snape was too big a temptation.

"As awe inspiring as always." It was clear from Snape's tone that it was not meant as a compliment. "I am once again amazed by the inherent stupidity and simple mindedness of teenagers."

Harry couldn't really disagree with that, not when those things were the same he was having problems with at the moment. He couldn't believe that even the cruel words were making his knees weak. The simple joy he'd been feeling these past hours was once again laden with longing.

"Not that I'm actually surprised. I am however glad I never have to read such utter rubbish from the three of you again." Now there was a hint of smile in the black eyes.

It took Harry a moment to realize what he was hinting. The expression in the usually so stern gaze was once again distracting him, making him feel utterly empty headed. Then he could only stare. Could Snape really mean that they were all passing the exam? Or that they were passing the written exam at least? He knew it was better not to ask.

He simply enjoyed the moment and the comfortable silence that wasn't overshadowed by embarrassment for once. Of course as soon as he thought about it, he started to feel weird again.

"I... I'd better let you get back to the grading, then." Thinking he should at least make a quip about the essays, Harry took a step away from the doorway. Maybe if he stayed away from Snape for a few days, this stupid gushing feeling would go away.

Snape had no idea what was going on. He just knew something was wrong with Harry. There was a new kind of tension between them and he was curious to find out exactly what had caused it.

"Er... I need to go see Ron about something."

It was clear that Harry was lying. For someone who'd had such practice with obfuscating, he was awfully bad at it right now.

"Wait." Realizing that Harry was about to walk away, Snape reached out, touching his arm. He made certain his grip was loose, unrestraining. If the boy really wanted to leave, he could do so easily. But he couldn't let him go without trying.

Harry froze in place, his hasty retreat cut by the soft touch and the apparent concern in Snape's voice. Trying to act naturally, he looked up at the man. Words died on his lips, none of the lies convincing enough to change anything. He could only stare.

There was honest worry on Snape's face, his expression once again open. Harry felt heat rise to his face. It was silly how that look could affect him like that. He'd become to realize that he did indeed fancy Snape, but this was ridiculous.

He tried to say something, anything. Even incoherent rambling would be better than this silence filled with tension.

"Potter? What is it?"

No, words were not better. At least not Snape's words. They simply added to the tension, driving calmness away. Harry turned his gaze down and stared at the hand holding his sleeve, swallowing as his arm started to tingle. All his decisions to stop thinking insane things disappeared as he reveled in the light touch.

It came to this; Snape's hand on his arm, the touch soft enough to almost be a caress.

Harry moved his arm a little, careful not to shrug Snape's hand away. This was probably one of his most idiotic ideas, but he didn't care. There were already so many stupid things he'd done.

Slowly, he turned his arm, sliding his hand to grab Snape's in a loose grip. His own breathing sounded awfully loud in the silence of the room. Everything seemed to stand still; there was only the soft touch of their hands.

Snape's hand was warm, callused. Funny, how Harry had never realized just exactly how small his hands were. Watching him work with ingredients always made him see strong, capable hands with a firm grip. Now that grip was holding him, loosely, but still sure.

This might be madness, but Harry couldn't even think of retreating anymore. Slowly, he brushed his fingers against the soft skin between Snape's thumb and forefinger, tracing some of the ink stains with his thumb. He had no idea why Snape was allowing this, why he wasn't pushed away.

"Potter?" Not certain of what was going on, Snape looked at Harry to see his expression. His fingers were tingling from the light contact, as if the simple touch of another was alien to him.

Instead of the lost expression he'd seen so many times months ago, there was an odd intensity in Harry's eyes. He looked determined, not stopping the bizarre, but not totally unpleasant touches. Relief filled Snape as he realized he wouldn't have to try to stop the young man from spiraling towards madness again.

A moment later all relief escaped him, replaced by a sinking feeling.

Harry's touch became firmer, his other hand rising slowly as if to touch Snape's shoulder. He was moving closer, a soft smile caressing his lips.

Lost in the moment for a fraction of a second, Snape leaned forward. He knew what Harry was about to do, but something in him rebelled against the whole thought. He had to see if he was indeed right.

A soft brush of lips against his made him recoil back. It wasn't even a proper kiss, only a hesitant touch. As hesitant as Harry's hand holding his.

He yanked his hand away, feeling the urge to rub his palm against his robes until he erased even the memory of Harry's touch.

This could not be happening.

Snape could only stare at Harry, his thoughts going around in circles. It was easy to interpret the signs now, the obvious teenage reactions to an impossible infatuation. He'd seen it in his students often enough, but never before had it been focused on him. No one had ever been insane enough to do that.

"I..." Swallowing hard, Harry tried to think of something to say. He hated the way Snape's gaze had turned from open into the obsidian mirror again, only reflecting what was in front of it, not revealing any emotion.

There were dozens of ways for Snape to deal with this. His first reaction was one his students had never before witnessed; he wanted to laugh straight in Harry's face. It was only appropriate at such a ridiculous prospect. He wanted to yell, taunt this idiot for harboring such ideas about him. Logically, he would have to sit the boy down and explain to him a few realities about life.

Frozen in place, he could do none of those things. He simply stared at Harry.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs broke the strange spell between them. Snape didn't wait to see if it was Malfoy or Weasley. He simply spun around and walked to his room.

---

Comments

[ashenv.livejournal.com]

No, no, no! No, no, no! *feels like a toddler with her fav word* You can't leave it like that! Oooh, I am just going to die till the next one, and knowing you there'll be more teasing. Oh, oh, poor Harry!

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

I solemnly swear I'm up to no (serious) teasing. :D

But yeah, poor Harry'll totally be angsting next. (nothing new there)

[nicholsa.livejournal.com]

What?! You keep torturing them...*pout* Snape needs Harry, Harry needs Snape. Tell him *points at Snape* to realize it!

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

*innocent look*

Would I torture my characters? And you expect Snape to realize he needs Harry???

*hysterical laughter*

[nicholsa.livejournal.com]

Can't a girl dream?

[lilyeyes.livejournal.com]

Well sh*t! One step forward and two steps back! Tell Severus it is not like him to run from anything...*smirks* yes, goad him into at least showing Harry what a proper kiss might feel like! please?

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

*smirk*

Hey one step for Harry is a giant leap for all the idiots... And Snape is above such hormonal stupidities as smooching! Or at least that's what he's telling himself...

[yura-slash.livejournal.com]

wow. that was so good. i actually felt my heartbeat slow down and my breath get all weird when i was reading the part leading up to the kiss. i can't wait til your update!!

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling! It was so great for them to *finally* get to the point. Or the beginning of the point. Road leading to the point. Kinda. :D

[effie-chan.livejournal.com]

Or the beginning of the point.

Must be a rather big point. ;)

Oh, I'm dreading the angst that is to come. Hopefully, Snape realizes what he has to do quickly...

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

what he has to do quickly..

That would be 'shag Harry silly' right?

And don't worry about angst. No heavy angst in *this* book. Kinda.

[lyr]

Mmm, lovely tension! That was an excellent moment you built there between Snape and Harry. Great chapter!

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

I adore the tension, even though it can become tedious if there's no... relief...

*facepalm*

[raisinous-fiend.livejournal.com]

AAAAH!!!

give in and kiss the boy senseless!!!!!! c'mon!!