![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sua_layAuthor: Rimau Sua Lay
Rating: overall NC-17, Angst, Drama, Action/Adventure, First Time
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Harry/Snape, Ron/Draco, (Sirius/Remus)
Date: December 2002 - ?
Disclaimers: Not mine, borrowed without permission, am not making any money. Please don't sue. Sherbet Lemon?
Summary for Book Three: -Does being a good guy mean you also have to be a nice guy? Draco is about to find out. Companionable silences and fist fights are a good way to hide deeper emotions.
Warning: This part contains mild violence, explicit sex between men, confusion about sex (not non-con really!) and as you can guess, angst.
The earlier parts of the fic can be found here.
Evenings were finally back to normal. Or as normal as they ever got around here.
Harry was keeping his gaze on the notebook, marveling at his handwriting. The notes had been made during his first and second year, when he'd still studiously copied most of the things his professors had said. It was kind of sad to read the clear text now, when his most recent notes were barely understandable.
Shrugging the thought about the way he scribbled things these days out of his mind, he tried to concentrate on the text. He didn't really have to worry about writing badly right now. The worst was over.
They had taken the written part of the Potions exam that afternoon. Snape had given them one extra day to read, but that was the extent of his generosity. Since Ron had recovered well, there had been no need to postpone the dreaded exam.
To be quite honest, Harry had been relieved. He'd spent so much time reading about potions, his head was almost spinning. He just wanted to get the whole thing over with.
There had been a moment of total panic when Snape had handed them the scrolls, revealing the few questions that would measure the knowledge they had gained during their seven years of studying. It had passed quickly as Harry had read through the questions. He'd known he wouldn't get top score from the N.E.W.T.s -- especially the Potions -- but he'd been fairly sure he would pass. Writing down his answers, he'd known he was not going to fail the written exam.
It had been strange to actually be confident of such a thing. Had to be because of all the evenings he'd spent in Snape's rooms reading textbooks. Having listened to the things the man had told him helped. He wondered if anyone else had known to mention Dugbog eyes while writing the essay about love potions.
Harry turned the page. He couldn't really concentrate on the text, but he knew he had to try. They had two days to get ready for the final part of the exam and he had no illusions about Snape being lenient. The potion they'd have to brew would undoubtedly be difficult and challenging.
Next to him, he could hear Ron fidget and mumble something to himself. That distracted him from his efforts to try to study. Unfortunately, the distraction was not welcome this time.
It had been like that for almost three days now. He'd thought Ron would mellow a bit after such a close call. Malfoy hadn't turned into a total bastard, even though his smirk was back. There didn't seem to be a reason for those two to fight.
Still, they did. All the time. Mostly with glares and angry glances, but sometimes Ron threw in a few curt words and muttered curses.
Harry didn't know what drove Ron to such behavior. There hadn't been much time for him to talk to his friend about it, but he doubted Ron even knew the reason himself. It almost seemed as if the need to be nasty towards Malfoy came from his subconscious. It was definitely irrational now.
They were all concentrating on the exam, reading and practicing for the last part. Harry had no idea of what would happen afterwards, when the four of them had to spend weeks upon weeks in the cottage, trying to coexist peacefully.
Maybe he should talk about it with Snape. He might have some suggestions. If nothing else worked, Snape could talk to Malfoy who would definitely listen to the Head of his House. Harry would have to deal with Ron somehow. The problem was, he had no idea how, not even if he knew what was driving him to rage.
"I'll go to bed now." Shutting his notebook softly, Draco got to his feet. He looked at his professor. "Good night, sir." He didn't even glance at the other end of the room as he turned around and walked out of the living room.
Snape nodded back at him, barely turning his attention from the huge book he was browsing through.
The mood in the room seemed to mellow a bit. Ron was definitely less tense but he did keep glancing warily at Snape every once in a while. He was still confused about what had happened to him; from being bitten to waking up naked and covered with dry and itchy potion, it was all a haze. A part of him wanted to know exactly what had happened, but he hadn't asked Harry about all the details. He wasn't sure he really wanted to know.
He waited for Malfoy to return from the outhouse before getting up and going out himself. He hoped the git had shooed most of the insects away, so he wouldn't have to do that himself.
If he saw one more spider inside the loo, he'd probably have a mental breakdown.
As the door slammed shut behind Ron, Harry lowered his notebook to his lap. It was the first time he had the chance to be alone with Snape for a few days. He wanted to spend these few moments quietly with Snape, with no worries, but he really couldn't.
"Have you found any good potions that will probably make us all go insane yet?" He knew there would be a glare, but asked anyway.
Snape raised his gaze from the book. "I doubt most of you would need a potion to achieve such state." The glare was pointed at the doorway, speaking volumes. "But to answer that pathetic attempt of fishing out clues, no, I haven't decided on the potion yet, Potter."
"I would never fish for clues!" There was actually real outrage in Harry's voice. He was not idiotic enough to think he'd ever actually succeed in such an attempt with Snape. "And you know that."
Snape didn't say anything, but his gaze was definitely not angry. He did know that. Harry was a Gryffindor after all. He wouldn't cheat on this.
Small talk was never a good idea with Snape. Harry had known that since the beginning, but something had made him try. It was probably the whole topic he was thinking of; talking about Ron and his problems felt like betrayal somehow.
There was no one else to talk to. Back home he'd have talked with Hermione, but she wasn't here. He was at a loss and knew Snape would probably have some insight on what was driving Ron to fight with Malfoy all the time.
"I need to talk to you about something." The words were so familiar. They had once been the prelude to an incoherent ramble or a softly spoken problem Harry had spent nights trying to solve. He didn't need that anymore, hadn't needed for a long time now.
Snape didn't even bother to pretend he didn't know what was going on. He'd got used to seeing Harry without the haunted look. "Weasley and Malfoy."
"Yes. They're really starting to bug me. Sometimes I just want to tell them to go and smack each other for an hour or two and get over it, but I don't think that would work. They're so caught up in this... whatever, that they'd probably kill each other."
It did sound probable. "It does seem like that, yes." How amazing that Harry wasn't blaming young Malfoy. "Have you talked to your friend about this?" Not that talking would do any good. From his experience with the brood of redheaded children, Snape knew that the Weasley skull was thicker than the standard cauldron.
"No." The way Harry said it clearly illustrated that he didn't think that would work either.
A log fell in the fireplace, making them both startle slightly. Watching the fire burn was an excellent way to fill the silence following Harry's denial.
The silence couldn't last forever. Harry knew he had to address the real problem behind the big angry mess Ron and Malfoy had got themselves into.
"Ron really hates Malfoy." It wasn't surprising, really. The blond pureblood had been a pain in the arse for years. But things had changed. "Even now. I know he's an arrogant bas..." At Snape's raising eyebrow, Harry still finished the word as he'd intended. "Bastard. But he did turn his back on Voldemort, and he did save Ron's life."
That was something he couldn't really understand.
Snape's expression could have been a smile if not for the cold look in his eyes. "Do you remember your first year at Hogwarts? The way your Potions master seemed to be so thrilled about having the son of James Potter in his classroom." He could see from the faint flinch that the boy did indeed. "It's no wonder Mr. Weasley doesn't like Draco Malfoy."
"That's different. If you'd stopped acting like a bear that's been shot in the arse, I wouldn't have hated you anymore. You provoked me after you saved my life and got even nastier than before. But Malfoy's just trying to stay out of Ron's way. It's different."
"I know." Snape was actually amazed of Harry's words. He could understand people flinging his personal traits at his face -- the 'nasty, evil and sarcastic' usually accompanied by at least one slur at his outer appearance -- but to have it commented on in passing was new.
He couldn't really believe he'd brought up the subject himself either. It wasn't like him to explain his actions, especially when thinking about the whole mess with the four Gryffindors. Everything that had happened with them, including the incident a few years earlier in the old house in Hogsmeade, had been a total disaster.
Not exactly cherished memories he wanted to visit often.
The situation between young Weasley and young Malfoy was getting more complicated every day now. He needed to make Harry understand what was behind such behavior, in case he tried to stick his nose into it. He probably would. After all, he was a Gryffindor.
"Ron can't see anything good in Malfoy." Frowning a little, Harry asked, "You think it's because he doesn't want to feel grateful? Like you didn't... Well, you know." It was something he'd never talked about with Snape, knowing the other man didn't want to dwell in the past. The curt comment a moment ago had been about their past, not about Snape's own private demons.
Now there was amusement in Snape's eyes, the half smile making him look even more evil than the scowl. "Yes, I do remember. I doubt it's that simple in this case. Your friend has hated Draco since the beginning. I'm certain both Arthur and Lucius warned their sons about each other. I on the other hand never really felt anything towards your father and his idiot friends before..." He was not going to go there, so he cut his original thought and finished with, " ...one of them tried to kill me."
Harry accepted that with a nod. He knew well that Snape wasn't talking about Remus when he talked about what had happened in the Shrieking Shack. It was one of the things he didn't talk about with Sirius. His godfather did seem to regret the whole thing, but not because of Snape.
Not a good basis for a deep conversation.
When Ron came back from the loo and private conversation with Snape became impossible, he was still thinking about the whole thing. He didn't concentrate on what had happened decades ago, since he couldn't change anything about that. Didn't want to think about stupid things his father and his friends might have done out of spite.
Thinking about the way Snape had commented on their earlier relationship was much easier, even though it did make him feel a bit strange. Snape had clearly hated him back then. In a way he could understand it, but it had become a distant memory now.
He simply couldn't see Snape like that anymore. He doubted Snape saw him like that either. If he did, he wouldn't talk to him like he was a person, he'd treat him like a student like he so obviously still did with both Ron and Malfoy.
Smiling, Harry sat there, staring at the flames in the fireplace until it was time to go to bed.
The bedroom wasn't completely dark with all the light coming from the moon. Ron had burrowed under his blankets and was now snoring slightly. He'd been a bit tired all day since he'd stayed up late the previous night, trying to memorize more stuff from his potions books.
He'd fallen asleep a few minutes after going to bed. Not even the angry thoughts about Malfoy could keep him awake.
Harry on the other hand was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't really see much without his glasses, just a hazy outline of the rafters. It didn't matter. He wasn't interested in looking at stuff anyway. He was too busy thinking.
Watching Ron huff with annoyance every time he tried to mention Malfoy was really getting on his nerves. The constant bickering was destroying his peace, the illusion the cottage had provided. He knew their calm coexistence couldn't last forever and that they would have to return to the real world eventually. This was probably his only chance for real relaxation and serenity for a long time and he wanted to enjoy it a moment longer.
He had to admit that he couldn't leave all his responsibilities behind. He was concerned about Ron and while that concern could just be something a friend should show in a situation like this, it was becoming more than that. Maybe he did take this too seriously, but he really didn't need to be dealing with Ron's problems right now, especially when after the Potions exam, they would have to start talking about the war again. There were strategies and plans they'd have to think of.
There would be no more time to simply enjoy his life.
Annoyed by the darkness of his own thoughts, Harry sat up. He wasn't tired and lying here would just make his head hurt. Maybe he'd go to sit by the window. That had always calmed him back home, sitting and staring at the landscape opening from the castle, Hedwig sitting next to him and cooing softly. He put on his glasses, not wanting to invite the headache by staring blearily into the blurry haze either.
It was pretty here. The sights and scents reminding him of home.
A soft sound made Harry tense. Down below, the door had just been opened and then shut quietly. If he hadn't sat here, he wouldn't have probably even heard that.
None of the wards reacted to the thing. Still, Harry moved to grab his wand. The movement was instinctual, the alarms going off in his head. Wards might fail. The Death Eaters knew lots of charms, and even though Snape had probably checked their wards every day, someone could get lucky.
Harry sneaked back to the window, keeping in the shadows as he peeked down. He didn't want to give anyone a big target by standing at the window. His hand was squeezing the wand tight.
What he saw made him tense. There was definitely someone out there, but they weren't coming towards the cottage. A dark figure was moving away from the door. A moment later Harry relaxed, lowering his wand. He'd recognize the man anywhere.
It was Snape. Probably going to the loo.
The shadows hid Harry's smile. He leaned against the window pane, relieved. The surge of adrenaline had chased away whatever tiredness he might have felt, so he decided to stand here for a moment longer, at least until Snape returned safely to the cottage.
His gaze followed the man. Frowning, he realized that Snape wasn't heading towards the small outhouse after all. That didn't make sense; he should know better than to go wandering off alone in the middle of the night.
Of course if he had some urgent business out there, he wouldn't come and ask for anyone to accompany him. Stubborn man!
Harry slipped his robe over his pajamas and then padded to the door. Carrying his shoes, he walked down the stairs, making sure none of the boards creaked. He didn't want to wake anyone up. When he reached the door, he put on his shoes and the heavy outer robes. Silently, he slipped out and followed Snape.
The full moon was hanging high in the sky, illuminating the whole landscape. It made Harry smile a little. A wolf moon. One that made even the most level headed wizard want to howl.
Remus was probably doing that right now. Sitting back on his haunches on some meadow, accompanied by the black form of Snuffles by his side, his muzzle raised towards the sky as he sang the eerie song of untamed nature.
There were no sounds of the wolves here. The whole world seemed unnaturally calm as Harry trailed Snape. His steps were quiet, not even his robes making any sounds as he hurried after the other dark figure. It took Harry a moment to realize what Snape was doing, and when he did, he couldn't help grinning. Of course.
Moving slowly amongst the bushes, Severus Snape was gathering herbs.
Harry watched as the small silvery sickle the man was holding glistened in the moonlight. It was obvious this was something Snape had done often. One swift flick of his wrist, and the sharp crescent blade cut a small branch or a seemingly innocent weed.
Snape was clearly working, and it looked like he was enjoying his task enormously. Walking slowly from tree to tree, bush to bush, he spent moments just staring at some of the shadowy plants.
Darkness seemed to be the natural habitat for this man. Harry couldn't really think of him gathering flowers in the bright daylight. This was different; a part of what Snape had always been. Practical, but somehow appreciating his surroundings.
Harry liked it. Liked the silence and the peace surrounding them both. Sharing this with Snape, even though the other man didn't know he was here. He'd made sure of it, tiptoeing as quietly as he could.
"You should never try to follow someone hostile, Potter." Snape didn't look up from the ground, continuing to scrape the dirt from some roots as he addressed the boy who was trying to hide in the shadows. "Your tracking skills are rather dismal."
"What?" Startled by the words, Harry stepped away from the tree he'd used as a cover.
Snape dug up the small milky white root and then straightened himself, turning to look at Harry. Amusement was evident on his face. "The first rule of scouting. Don't slam the door behind you when you go after someone."
That made Harry fluster a bit, but he was also in awe of Snape's hearing. He hadn't slammed the door shut that hard. That would have probably woken Malfoy up, and he didn't want that to happen. "I have to remember that the next time I go after people who go out alone in the middle of the night even when we have agreed that no one should do anything as stupid as that."
"I think we also agreed that calling your professors stupid isn't productive." Not looking at all remorseful, Snape changed his basket to his other arm, brushing the dirt off his fingers. "Now go back to the house. I'll be all right."
As if Harry would obey such a command. "No." He walked closer to Snape. "If you insist on doing this now, I'll stay here too." He was not going to lose anyone. It didn't matter that their surroundings seemed peaceful -- not counting one irritated snake. He wasn't taking any chances.
"Look, Potter, I can't have you following me. We need more ingredients for the potions you three will brew, and you should not see what I'm gathering." Long experience told Snape that he couldn't order Harry right now. He would have to make him see reason, however unlikely that seemed.
Harry shook his head. "Your faith in my deduction skills is unfounded, Snape." Sometimes even he wondered where the sarcastic words came from. "But you can take off some points or even make me swear that I will not think of whatever weeds you're gathering before the day after tomorrow." There was no way he would leave Snape alone here.
Knowing that Harry would indeed swear that -- and would keep his word if it was upon his honor or something as Gryffindor as that -- Snape sighed. "Fine. Just try not to make a big ruckus."
He continued walking slowly through the small area of trees, hearing soft footsteps follow him. It made him once again wonder about Harry's stubbornness. On moments like this, he was certain he could have reduced every single Gryffindor House point and even hexed the boy before he'd left him be. It was annoying; the protectiveness was completely needless.
Still, Snape could recognize that in himself too. Usually it was aimed at his Slytherins, trying to urge them on in the world that would easily treat them as storybook villains. Duty had forced him to extend that protectiveness to Harry Potter, and it had slowly become a part of who he was.
Not paying attention to the quiet figure next to him, he collected more plants. He didn't just need ones for the potion his students would brew. Now that he was out here, he might as well collect all he could for future use. The full moon gave potency to most of the ingredients.
It didn't take long for him to fill his basket. Stretching his back slightly, Snape put his sickle back into his belt. He'd spend the next day working on some of the things he'd harvested, but he would definitely leave some as they were. It was a part of the exam, to prepare some ingredients to be used and not just grab cleaned roots and leaves.
A small smile flickered on Snape's lips as he imagined Weasley's expression as he'd grab some of the plants. He was one of the laziest students he'd ever met. It was quite probable that Weasley would ignore the instructions and simply toss the uncleaned fern roots into the potion he was brewing.
Neville Longbottom was not the only student to manage blowing up his cauldron.
Turning around, Snape could see Harry lean against a tree, looking around him with a bemused expression. A moment later the green gaze focused on him.
"I like the moon. It always makes me want to do crazy things. You know, something wild and impulsive." Eyes gleaming behind his glasses, Harry looked at Snape, wondering if he would understand what he was saying.
Snape shifted the small basket on his arm, sneering a little. "I fail to see how that differs from your usual behavior."were an Animagus, I'd be some kind of a night creature. It would be wonderful to just let go and run free under the stars." His voice was hushed.
"Yes, I can see how that would be appealing to someone like you. Wild animals and young Gryffindors do bear some resemblance to each other."
Harry smiled at that. There were dozens of things he could say to that, ranging from a sarcastic quip about fluffy bunnies to something that would have reduced at least twenty House points from them if they were still at Hogwarts.
He didn't say anything. The night was too magical, too peaceful. He didn't want to hide behind random bickering.
Apparently Snape didn't see any reason for another scathing remark either. He simply stood there, staring at Harry.
How amazing that he was actually enjoying the repartee. Harry was different from the other two youngsters who were probably snoring the night away in the cottage. He didn't cringe or fret in his presence, still not treating him overly disrespectfully either. Almost as if he saw him as an equal. It was somewhat disturbing, for Snape didn't really want to lose his authority in the eyes of someone he'd always considered a brat.
Potter wasn't all that bad. Discerning enough to see that Snape didn't allow impudence in front of others.
Unlike some who would never understand that. Snape felt a small muscle on his cheek twitch at the amusement of the thought. If young Malfoy were in Harry's shoes, he'd exploit his leniency without mercy. Not this stubborn fool.
Harry saw the brief flash of something like laughter in Snape's eyes, feeling light headed at the sight. Who would have thought he'd be standing here in the middle of the night with his sarcastic Potions master, sharing a silent joke with him? It made his stomach flutter. "Snape..." He had no idea what he was going to say.
"We should probably head back to the cottage." Feeling the night close in on them, Snape could well understand how even the Muggles could sense strange tidings in the pale disc of the full moon. He was done with his harvesting. No need to linger out here.
"I know." Harry thought about the small room upstairs where Ron was snoring, probably having weird dreams about Malfoy. He was in no hurry to go back there. He liked it here with Snape.
It was clear that Snape didn't feel the need to return to their little hideaway quickly either. He stood there, looking unusually relaxed, his black gaze a striking contrast against his ghostly white skin.
Harry couldn't help staring at him. He had seen this man naked and yet he'd never seen him as open and approachable as now. It had to be a trick, the shadows cast on the angular face playing with his mind. Still, he was overwhelmed with images of Snape letting his guards down with him. The concentration on his face when he worked on his potions while Harry studied in his rooms. The absentminded look that sometimes accompanied the second cup of tea he drank, clearly indicating he wasn't exactly thirsty, but was indulging himself.
The relaxed expression on the completely exhausted man that day he had returned from the Malfoy Mansion with Minerva McGonagall. Harry doubted he'd ever forget that look. It had made him pull the covers over Snape when his initial plan had simply been to assist the man to his bed so that he wouldn't just collapse on the floor.
He had pulled back then, his hand freezing a moment before brushing a lock of greasy hair away from Snape's face. The memory of that moment had followed him, even though he'd tried really hard not to think about the whole thing.
Because it was utter madness. Even more demented than harboring dark thoughts about the future. A sign that he was indeed losing his mind.
Now that they were both standing here, it didn't sound so foolish; didn't make Harry wonder about his sanity. The fluttering feeling was in his stomach again, stealing his breath away. This time he had a name for the feeling, and it had nothing to do with fear. His gaze locked with Snape's, Harry leaned slightly forward. No, this didn't seem weird after all. It felt right.
And now he was going to kiss Snape.
Snape swallowed as Harry moved closer. There was a hesitant look in Harry's eyes, glistening in the bright moonlight.
The night that had felt so peaceful a moment ago was now filled with strange sensations. Snape wondered if it was a warning of something malignant approaching.
Hoped that the tension was simply a figment of his paranoid imagination.
He didn't know why Harry was still staring at him like that. Such scrutiny usually made him want to walk away, hide from the surprisingly intelligent gaze. He couldn't read the emotion on Harry's face. It could be anything.
He leaned closer. Maybe he was just imagining things.
Like the slight intake of breath, the dilating pupils. Lips that were slowly parting, as if Harry was about to say something without a sound. The way his own fingers tightened their hold on the small basket, needing to grab onto something real.
Warmth was coursing through his veins, making his skin tingle. A reaction from within, not a charm crawling all over him. Something in the air was making him dizzy, and his mind was trying to come up with explanations for it.
He was probably not wearing enough clothes. It was chilly up here, and the strange warmth was probably something his tired mind was conjuring up. The moon could influence him more than he wanted to admit. It could be anything.
He just didn't know.
The dark fire in the young man's eyes certainly wasn't helping him to figure it out. It almost looked like Harry was... "Now, Potter. We should go back right now."
The hoarse words broke the spell, and Harry recoiled back. He felt heat rise to his face and nodded. Yes. They'd better go back right now. Then he could go to the room he shared with Ron and crawl under the bed and never come out again. "Yeah."
Turning back to the small path leading to the cottage so fast his foot almost slipped, Snape wondered what had just happened. He refused to even think about what it had felt like.
No. He had not felt anything, just like the look in Harry's eyes didn't really mean anything. It had simply seemed like the most famous teenager in the whole wizarding world was about to... hug him. Touch him somehow.
Sensing that Harry was following him silently, he sighed.
For the first time ever he wished the mangy mutt was there. Black would be able to coddle his godson and offer him hugs. He did not want to become Harry Potter's personal shoulder to lean on, or some kind of a parenting figure.
That was where they had started a few months ago; it had been the way he'd envisioned the whole thing. Not exactly how it had turned out to be. Their relationship was definitely not that simple, couldn't be explained with just one definition.
He refused to even think about that hazy look in the boy's eyes that had been replaced by intensity, because it had been an expression he'd never seen before. The closest thing he could think about was lust, and that had to be wrong. Lust never had affection and innocence in it.
There was also no way Harry Potter would look at him with lust in his gaze. The boy wasn't that foolish.
Harry was trying desperately to think of something to say, anything to break the very uncomfortable tension between them. He hadn't felt like this with Snape for a long time, and it chilled him. Even his embarrassment after the bathing incident hadn't been half this bad. "Um... Hey, is it true that professor Trelawney goes running naked outside the castle every full moon?" Maybe not the most intelligent thing to ask, but it was better than the silence.
It was a good thing Snape's face was turned away from the boy. At least now he didn't have to suppress the evil smirk. "You really think I would discuss the privacy of other teachers with you, Potter?" Waiting for a beat, he added, "I do however believe that most of the rumors circulating amongst the students are absolutely true."
The admission made Harry laugh. A breathless little sound that was pretty embarrassing.
Snape didn't wait for him to think of something intelligent to say, figuring that he would have to wait for a long time. They were almost at the cottage, the light coming from the windows downstairs welcoming them back. Things would probably look normal tomorrow morning.
He held the door open, shutting it behind Harry and then locking it firmly. Now that he was back inside, he realized how cold it had really been outside. Strange, he hadn't really paid attention to it earlier.
Slowly stripping off his outer robes, Harry stood there in place, reluctant to move. His embarrassment was melting away, leaving all the other emotions behind. He didn't know what to do now. There were things he'd like to discuss with Snape, but he knew it wasn't the right time. He needed to sort things out on his own first.
"You should go to bed." Somehow the surrounding night was still making Snape speak softly.
Harry looked up at him again, the look in his eyes oddly wistful. "I know." He didn't want to go. If he could, he'd follow Snape into the small bedroom full of familiar scents, and spend the night on a chair.
He hesitated to ask the man if he could do it and not only because of Ron and Malfoy.
Something had happened out there to change things between Snape and him. It had brought the undercurrent of unease back, but also tension he'd never felt around this man. It had nothing to do with anger or hatred, no matter how it did burn in his belly.
It was more than desire to stay with someone he trusted and liked. Nothing as simple as that. Harry smiled slightly. "I know." Repeating the words quietly, he thought about the emotion that had driven him to follow Snape that night. Worry. Mixed with things that would have only months ago sounded ridiculous.
Companionship. Joy. Desire. Silly emotions bubbling inside of him. Almost painfully obvious now that he didn't try not to think about them.
Torn between the need to have a moment for himself and the need to stay with Snape, he kept looking at the man, marveling the peace that was still surrounding them. It was unreal, especially because of the mortification that was still festering somewhere inside of him. Life had never felt more complicated, and he wondered what to do next.
In the end, he nodded quietly at Snape and then turned to the staircase. With a whispered, "Good night, Snape," he climbed upstairs.
Snape stood there in the small hallway, looking puzzled.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-07-08 09:48 pm (UTC)There is just no other explanation why you would leave us hanging like that. *le sigh*
And it was *so* close. Damn.
Good chapter, as always. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-07-08 09:59 pm (UTC)Hey, at least someone's now realizing things...
no subject
Date: 2006-07-09 04:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-09 05:30 pm (UTC)Poor Harry. Looks like all the denial was caught short by a mental two by four.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-09 02:17 am (UTC)That just means that it's going to happen soon. :D Okay it has to, they're driving me nuts! :)
no subject
Date: 2006-07-09 05:33 pm (UTC)Thank you! :P It's been a pleasure to tease and even though you're right it'll be soon... there'll be a bit more teasing coming up.
And they're driving you nuts?
no subject
Date: 2006-07-10 01:40 am (UTC)Okay more so you're driving me nuts, having to wait two days for the next part. ;)
no subject
Date: 2006-07-09 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-09 05:41 pm (UTC):D
I feel line Nurse Ratchett now. "You love me! You really love me!"
no subject
Date: 2006-07-09 05:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-09 05:52 pm (UTC)Nah. I prefer your interpretation.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-09 06:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-27 02:26 am (UTC)and then i almost cried when Harry was standing there looking at Snape and thinking.
sigh.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-27 04:03 pm (UTC)