(no subject)

[sua_lay]

Things I hate in fic, random top 5 just because I'm pissed off:

1. Author saying anything in brackets inside the story.

John was rubbing his hair, making it stand up even weirder than usually (LOL don't we just all love his hair!!1!)

Don't do that! It shows you're a fucking idiot!

2. No line breaks.

It's awful to read stuff with paragraphs that are more than seven lines long. Have stumbled onto fics that seem to be pages long and are made of four or so paragraphs. < p > is your friend!

3. Stupid dialogue (part 1)

"Dude, you're so wrong!"

If that's popslash guy talking to another popslash guy or a teenager talking to another teenager, fine.

That is not Snape talking to Harry, Picard talking to Q, Grissom talking to anyone, any historical character talking to anyone, Mulder talking to Krycek, etc.

4. Stupid dialogue (part 2)

"Jack, you shoulda fucking been there!" Sawyer crooned. "She was naked, Jack!"

"What?"

"Yeah." Sawyer stopped to smirk for a moment. "So, did you find anything, Jack? Did you have any problem getting back from the thing, Jack?"

Read the goddamn dialogue out loud. Then listen to the way you speak to people. When you talk to your friends, do you keep repeating their name all the time? Probably not (unless you're a damn idiot!). So why the hell should the characters say their friend's name in every sentence? Asshole.

5. They fuck the end

If you write an honest PWP, I'll read it and be all phew hot damn.

Making it a plot fic, a case file, an adventure, and then when the guys get to the fucking part and suddenly you drop the plot (and the whole story) 'cause you're like so bored now and what the fuck ever, they're in bed and that should be enough...

grr

Wish I could blame PMS, but I'm just tired and apparently read too many bad stories lately. I can deal with crap every now and then, but when every fic I read makes me want to scream...

/rant

Comments

[lyr]

I am absolutely with you on all of those. When I come across #1, I just stop reading altogether.

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

I think I must have grown as a person, 'cause there was a time when I just kept reading through every crappy fic I started.

*shudders*

[duskspoken.livejournal.com]

I was checking to see if you'd updated your story yet and I saw this and I have to agree with you on everything. ;)

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

:D Had a small time nervous breakdown after reading too much crap: hence the rant.

And am going to start posting the fic as soon as my beta finishes doing her job... which may take a while. She's already betaed about half (that would be around 350k/14 parts), so with some luck it'll be soon...ish.

[duskspoken.livejournal.com]

LOL. I really hate when people change tenses. I mean if you start a passage in past tense you need to keep it in past tense. Oh the one that gets me the most is 'Oh Gods'. I mean come on just say that out loud. God is capitalize, gods is not and 'Oh Gods' just sounds stupid. *gets out the idiot stamp*


Man that's a lot. She deserves lots of cookies for that ;) I'm moving soon so hopefully the new city has a library, it's a small town. *prays for a library* ;)

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

Oh good grief! The tense thing! Usually authors who jump around with the tense tend to aim for the artistic and miss by the mile.

Also, I'm all for oh gods (or even Gods if it's a set group of gods or whatnot) if it's canon that the characters actually worship a multitude of divinities. If it's just because the author is a pseudo-PC semi-pagan or something silly like that... Then we get back to the part where I just hate stupid authors.

Yeah, the job is huge for one beta, and am considering searching for someone else to help her after book 3. Two more books coming up after that, and I don't want to work her to death.

Hope your new hometown will have a library!

[duskspoken.livejournal.com]

See now I'm refering to the erotica scenes and pre-climax a character screams 'Oh Gods'. I personally have screamed 'Oh God' many times but I've never added that s. I'm not all that religious either and my beliefs don't play a big part in my life at all. I'm just not religious at all. I mean I understand the whole other belief thing but I can bet many people in that situation (the one above) don't scream 'Oh Gods'.

I betaed one story before. It was really short and it took me quite some time to do that because I was very through with it. Hell me and my co-writer beta our own story and many of our mistakes get fixed months after we've posted the chapter because it's too hard to spot them so shortly after we've written or posted it.


Sorry if any of that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, I'm sick and my brain has gone fuzzy today.

And yes I hope it has a library. I'm at home now but when I move we won't have the net at the new house for a while. :(

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

Talking about erotica scenes, I'd assume it'd come out as Oh Guuuuhhh.... actually. :D But I guess it still comes back to the character versus writer thing. You go with the character and not your own beliefs.

Personally, I would consider myself religious as a pagan, but if a character in a movie says oh Christ every time he's stunned, he'll say that in my fic too.

I totally suck with some of the grammar (especially prepositions), and need a beta who can keep an eye on them. Being a non native English speaker also makes me sometimes use inappropriate words and phrases, and my beta usually slaps me on the knuckles when I go on a tangent and miss my point completely.

And it's impossible to catch every single typo and mistake in a long fic; that's why I think it's cool if you post stuff on LJ or communities and then people point out the mistakes.

Poor fuzzy brain! *pats brain*

Aargh! It's awful to wait for the new net connection. Reading porn... er... fic in the library (or saving stuff on discs/USB memory) is always kinda dubious, especially if the websites have lots of lewd pictures and someone can walk behind you and see where you're surfing.

*grin*

[duskspoken.livejournal.com]

Well in that case then I just don't see a lot of the HP characters saying 'Oh God' or 'Oh Gods'. I can't remember JK ever really saying that they believe in God or gods but from the way the story is written I'd imagine that they don't. To me it doesn't seem like there is any sort of religion. But it's been a while since I've read my books and I've read way too much fanfic in it's stead. :D

I'm horrible with grammar. Spelling I'm pretty good at. Simple grammar I can do but anything else, nah.

We do post ours in a community, it's got it's own. I don't post it in any of the HP communities, well anymore, because I never got any feedback on it, good, bad or otherwise and it's got OC's in it and that's not everyone's cup of tea. *shrugs*


See the good thing about all the stories I read is that they're all on lj, well the longs that I keep up with are. :D

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

Yup, the whole concept of religion in HP fandom is kind of obscure. I can see them say oh Merlin (or just the traditional oh fuck in bed...) but it's best to leave Muggle religion out of it.

From what I've heard, some LJ fandom communities get weird sometimes and then there are the good old flame wars and stuff. I wasn't going to really post my fic on any of the HP communities at first, mainly because it really does take a while until it becomes 'traditional' slash (even though you can probably already read it between the lines), and that seems to annoy some idi... er.. people.

I like LJ posted fics, but when the story's finished, I'd also like to read it as one huge file. Being an old timer in fandoms and fic, I miss good archives and homepages. Hunting some long fic from an LJ with no proper tags, memories or some other filing system is pure hell.

[duskspoken.livejournal.com]

See now I can see the 'Oh Merlin' and yes I think so too. From the author's I read reguarly I don't see the whole 'Oh Gods' thing from. *shrugs* It just irks me to no end.

I just read fic. I don't pay much attention to anything else that goes on in the community. LOL.

See in the stories community it's the only thing that gets posted there and in the user info I've linked every chapter so far, I've not done tags yet but I will one of these days when I'm bored and got nothing else to do, they'll all get tagged. LOL. I leave the organization of my communities for when I'm absolutely bored and have nothing to do. :D

[duskspoken.livejournal.com]

Err.. I forgot this part. ..

Now see I don't like those slash stories, long ones that is, where the first thing you read is them snogging and shagging. I mean come on. Espically with characters like Snape and Harry, Ron and Draco etc. It's not goin to happen like that. They don't like each other it's going to take time to break down barriers and get it on. :D So actually I really like your story and have kept on with it because it's not a 'traditional' slash story. There is one other that I'm reading that it's not a 'tradtional' one and those are the only two long ones I'm keeping up with. There was one I was keeping up with and it was good but it the writer's not updated in a long time so eh.

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

I can deal with a long fic with sex in the beginning if it's somehow accidental (er... not as in I fell into your dick, but the good old drugged/love potion/spell -thing), but then there has to be a reaction to that and some reasonable explanation why Harry doesn't run to the hills screaming but continues the relationship with Snape.

The thing with long fic is that I like it to be a First Time, 'cause then hopefully the author explores the issue of change. There should be the period of time when there is no relationship, no sex, and the progression to the good old shagging and whatnot is the most intriguing part.

Also, if the sex starts really early in the fic, the author has a dilemma; either try to show as little actual explicit sex as possible or write too much sex. Personally, I hate it when people think the nc-17 rating means that about 50% of the fic needs to be shagging. They either have the same sex scene over and over again, or every couple go from simple frottage to such sexual gymnastics that the couple could attend to the next Olympics.

*cheers for the snarry team*

Ahem....

[duskspoken.livejournal.com]

I agree with what you said about the accidental sex. And I think, espically with those characters that don't particuarly like each other, the reaction can't immediately be 'Oh let's do it again but without the potion/whatever this time'. It's not believeable, just not to me.


I think the majority of writer's do too much sex. There was one I was reading and it had a fairly good plot but every damn chapter was mostly about sex and I mean come on, so I stopped reading it.

LOL. Yes Snarry is one of my favorite pairs but I've been reading quite a bit of Ron/Draco lately. :D

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it seems like most authors think that the main point of a slash fic is to get the two guys shagging and then end the fic. Or to get them in bed and then keep them there.

Not that I diss PWPs, but I like reading longer fics with actual plot and some point. The sex doesn't need to end the sexual tension, the first time can be followed by some kind of a panic and then the whole tension can be rebuilt. That's what makes a fic interesting.

And you're right. It's not believable that two former enemies would be all yay about shagging (not to mention a relationship) after a potions induced night together.

I agree with you on the too much sex thing. A well written sex scene is a joy to read, but if it's a HP fic set during the war or the school year, the characters can't just stay in bed all the time. Also, sex is the easy part. Writing people like Snape and Harry actually spending an evening together without the sex would be the challenge. :D

It's been ages since I've read good Ron/Draco. There used to be a few stories written when I started on the pairing, but most of them were the 'i hate you, i hate you too, let's shag, the end' kinda fics, so I gave up.

Should probably go and see what's out there now...

[duskspoken.livejournal.com]

There's one Ron/Draco that I'm reading that's fairly good. It's called 'A Wizard in Muggle Clothes' or something like that, I can find the link to it if you want, it's in my memories. It's pretty good. Ron doesn't like Draco and while Draco is crushing on Ron he's still a bastard to him.


I mean I like short fics that the whole thing is sex and I only read those sparatically. I'm more into long withs with a plot and such. And yes I truly believe that writing Harry and Snape in the same room all night with no sex would be a challenge. Oh and they'd have to stay in character. *nods* It's hard to find many people that can keep Snape and Draco in character, or close enough for it to be believeable for me to want to read them. (I mean not together, yuck. LOL)

[sua-lay.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'd love that link if it's not too much trouble.

The problem with people writing Snape or Draco is that they're not nice characters. They can be the good guys in the war, they can be good and loving with their partners and they may even be able to do unselfish deeds. But they're not nice or kind.

Of course reading them as total bastards is annoying too...

And Snape/Draco? Yuck!!!!1!

[duskspoken.livejournal.com]

A Wizard Disguised in Muggle Clothes (http://ricca-d.livejournal.com/5939.html) by < lj user= "ricca_d">. She's got the next chapter linked at the end of the current one so you won't have to go searching for the next part. Also I do have a Ron/Draco rec list, I've not had the chance to read many on there but I'll give it to you as well. R/D rec list (http://community.livejournal.com/pointless_blank/37291.html).

I feel the same about Snape and Draco as you just described them. And the only way I can read them as total bastards is if they are playing the whole death eater part.

Yeah never read Snape/Draco, not too keen on it. I did read a Snape/Ron one once, it was pretty good.