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sua_layAm finally getting a grip and going through the fic again. Seems to me that the writer's blocks come in cycles. I can go on for weeks not doing anything about the damn story and then suddenly I get an inspiration and type like a loon.
Maybe this is a form of insanity. I don't know.
It's funny to work on such a project. When I started this story, it was all about a short scene about depression. Then it evolved into something quite different. My ideas about plot have stayed the same for most of the process, but sometimes the passion and love for a character has changed.
To be quite honest, when I started writing, I disliked Harry. It was petty, I admit, but the character just wasn't very interesting. I liked Snape more, and had to wonder if this was one of those my guy - the guy he loves for some stupid reason (er... Iolaus - Herc, Methos - Duncan) things. Then something happened and I grew to like my Harry very much. I'm still not sure about the canon Harry, though...
The other character who has gone through such a dramatic change is Sirius. I was totally in love with that guy when he was introduced, but somewhere along the line I got over that.
No, I don't hate Sirius, no matter what I babble with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_reda about him. But it's not silly and blind *hearts* anymore either.
Besides character development -- and hey, it's been over two and a half years -- I've gone from the rather simplistic view I had of the potterverse to somewhere I never even thought existed. Other fandoms helped a lot here. I doubt I would have this concept of war if I hadn't been introduced to Band of Brothers for example.
Writing angst is a double edged sword, and it's always hard to stay clear from being kind of cold about suffering but also to not wallow. I hate both extensive smarm and uberangst, but I see how it's sometimes difficult to find any kind of balance between those two. It seems to be a trend in potter fandom that a story has to be either mushy or annngst that makes you want to slice your wrists as you finish reading the torture.
Hope mine won't be either.
It's strange to inflict pain or kill characters. I once wrote a rather silly HL series in which I had an OFC I was going to kill and then chickened out at the last minute. Killing canon characters I love is not easy, but if it fits the story, death is better than an all yay last minute rescue. Or having everyone be all happy happy forever.
About fandom... I'm still not really sure what that means. Am I in Harry Potter fandom? Writing this bitch of a fic for ages and reading lots of fanfic makes me say yes. Ignoring most discussions and rants and the whole BNF driven wank that surrounds this fandom makes me say no. I'm not interested in wondering about this character and that, forcing my opinions on others. I just write my story and then whine about my interpretation to anyone who's willing to listen.
Writing this pointless rant no one will probably read served two purposes. It gave me a break from actually writing the fic, but it was also a prelude to something akin to a/n. To all you people who are helping me with this monstrosity, big thanks to you. Also, all you who aren't coming after me with a knife for going on and on and on about this, thank you for your patience.
*smirk*
Maybe this is a form of insanity. I don't know.
It's funny to work on such a project. When I started this story, it was all about a short scene about depression. Then it evolved into something quite different. My ideas about plot have stayed the same for most of the process, but sometimes the passion and love for a character has changed.
To be quite honest, when I started writing, I disliked Harry. It was petty, I admit, but the character just wasn't very interesting. I liked Snape more, and had to wonder if this was one of those my guy - the guy he loves for some stupid reason (er... Iolaus - Herc, Methos - Duncan) things. Then something happened and I grew to like my Harry very much. I'm still not sure about the canon Harry, though...
The other character who has gone through such a dramatic change is Sirius. I was totally in love with that guy when he was introduced, but somewhere along the line I got over that.
No, I don't hate Sirius, no matter what I babble with
the_reda about him. But it's not silly and blind *hearts* anymore either.Besides character development -- and hey, it's been over two and a half years -- I've gone from the rather simplistic view I had of the potterverse to somewhere I never even thought existed. Other fandoms helped a lot here. I doubt I would have this concept of war if I hadn't been introduced to Band of Brothers for example.
Writing angst is a double edged sword, and it's always hard to stay clear from being kind of cold about suffering but also to not wallow. I hate both extensive smarm and uberangst, but I see how it's sometimes difficult to find any kind of balance between those two. It seems to be a trend in potter fandom that a story has to be either mushy or annngst that makes you want to slice your wrists as you finish reading the torture.
Hope mine won't be either.
It's strange to inflict pain or kill characters. I once wrote a rather silly HL series in which I had an OFC I was going to kill and then chickened out at the last minute. Killing canon characters I love is not easy, but if it fits the story, death is better than an all yay last minute rescue. Or having everyone be all happy happy forever.
About fandom... I'm still not really sure what that means. Am I in Harry Potter fandom? Writing this bitch of a fic for ages and reading lots of fanfic makes me say yes. Ignoring most discussions and rants and the whole BNF driven wank that surrounds this fandom makes me say no. I'm not interested in wondering about this character and that, forcing my opinions on others. I just write my story and then whine about my interpretation to anyone who's willing to listen.
Writing this pointless rant no one will probably read served two purposes. It gave me a break from actually writing the fic, but it was also a prelude to something akin to a/n. To all you people who are helping me with this monstrosity, big thanks to you. Also, all you who aren't coming after me with a knife for going on and on and on about this, thank you for your patience.
*smirk*
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Date: 2005-05-30 10:49 am (UTC)