R is for Ride
Apr. 21st, 2005 08:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sua_layI know this fic may squick about everyone who's heard the funny funny speculations about the man and his horse. Or those who have seen Hidalgo. :D
Warning! Sugary and pompous death story. Also, horses. Well, a horse. But apparently they're good.
This week's letter is R and it's for 'Ride'.
Genre: RPF, death, smarm, can be read as beastiality if the reader is sick enough, but it's all about friendship really
Pairing: none, Viggo Mortensen, Uraeus (that would be the horse playing Brego), mentions of TJ (who played Hidalgo)
Viggo paused briefly at the door. It was chilly out here, but he didn't feel the wind. He simply stood in place, staring into the well lit barn.
For the first time ever, he was dreading going inside.
He remembered how it had been a few years ago, when TJ had died, when he had barely recognized his old companion. He'd known for a long time that the end would be coming, but until he'd been certain prolonging his life prolonged his suffering as well, he hadn't been able to tell the vet to put him to sleep.
It had been awful. Going there with the vet, holding TJ's face as he fell asleep. Sometimes that moment still followed him into his dreams.
But this was worse
The impatient whinny made him jolt out of his thoughts. Smiling a little, Viggo stepped inside. "Hi there, boy."
Uraeus let out a greeting huff like he always did upon seeing him. He seemed to be genuinely pleased.
That was always such a complete mystery to Viggo.
TJ had known him as well, but had also greeted everyone else. He'd bonded with one of the girls who'd come here to take the horses out every time Viggo was off for a shoot. Uraeus was different. He never paid attention to humans other than Viggo.
Patting his horse's nose gently, Viggo leaned against the wooden fence. He breathed in the familiar scent of hay and horse. This was what he missed the most when he was back in the city, the peace and calm. These days, he couldn't paint or write when he was away, finding it too distracting.
"How are you doing, big U?" The question was absent minded, as if Viggo simply wanted to hear his own voice.
Uraeus whinnied anyway. It had always been like this. The sound an answer to a language he couldn't possibly understand.
Sometimes Viggo wasn't sure about that. There had been moments during the years when he'd been certain Uraeus knew exactly what he said. The unnatural intelligence in the dark eyes still startled him whenever the horse looked at him.
Sighing, he leaned against the horse. "I am going to miss you." It came out as a whisper.
It was like last time. Back then, months of worrying and uncertainty had ended with a very cruel diagnosis. He had watched TJ waste away, feeling utterly helpless.
He couldn't do it this time.
The doctor had asked if he wanted him to stay, to take care of it now. The question had startled Viggo. It was so clinical, so calm.
As if they weren't talking about someone real. As if Uraeus was simply a thing he needed to get rid of. A nuisance that should be taken care of. He'd shook his head, anger and grief closing his throat.
There had been understanding in the doc's eyes.
Viggo felt the soft nose nuzzle against his neck and closed his eyes. He'd spent the evening in his room, staring at the wall. Feeling more lonely than ever. Old. His friends had teased him when Henry had presented him with his first grandchild, calling him grandpa and telling him he was supposed to get a rocking chair and retire now. He'd laughed then. He had never really felt old.
Now the thought made him want to cry.
"You know, don't you boy?" He muttered the words out, smiling faintly as the soft nose brushed against his ear. "You know how it feels to be old."
Uraeus let out a whinny. Unlike usual, there was no fire in the sound. It was almost as if he was agreeing with Viggo.
Moving back a little, Viggo stared at the unbelievably aware eyes, reading weariness there. He wondered for the thousandth time if Uraeus could really understand him the way he seemed to understand Uraeus perfectly.
He knew what would have to happen next. There was no real choice. Modern medicine couldn't help him. It was either to watch Uraeus suffer or call the vet back tomorrow morning.
He didn't know how he could do it, but he knew he had to. He couldn't stand back and watch this horse suffer. His friend, his companion.
But how could he live with himself after ordering his death?
The silence seemed to wrap around them. Viggo couldn't tear his gaze away from Uraeus' eyes, feeling more connected with him than ever.
He couldn't. But how could he do anything else?
What was there for him anyway? A career that couldn't go any further. There was nothing left to achieve. No challenge. He couldn't see the forms on the canvas anymore, silent worry and sorrow robbing that light from him. Words tasted like ashes.
Slowly, he took a step back, still staring into Uraeus' eyes. He felt cold immediately, as if the only warmth in his universe was right here. Reaching out with his hand without even thinking about what he was doing, he grabbed the reins from the peg.
"Ready for a ride?" he whispered.
He had thought about this back at the house, about a last ride with his friend. It had felt too painful back there, knowing he would never again do this with Uraeus again. Somehow he knew he wouldn't do this with any other horse either. No one could compare to his friend.
Uraeus let out a snort, holding still as Viggo worked on the reins and the saddle. He seemed to be eager to do this, unlike the past few days when he'd stood apathetically in his stall, looking at the world with pained eyes.
"Good boy." There was real pride in Viggo's voice as he walked his horse out of the barn. The air smelled of decaying leaves. The scent he always connected with death. "Good boy."
He mounted Uraeus slowly, not wanting to cause him any pain. He could see that he wasn't completely successful as Uraeus' strong muscles rippled right underneath his skin. The horse didn't make any sound, didn't move around nervously. It was as if he wanted this as well.
The darkness surrounded them as Uraeus walked to the familiar path amongst the trees. Neither needed light to know where they were going. They had done this hundreds of times during the past twenty years. The trail always started here. It would lead to the North, away from the perilous canyons and the river, to the hillside where they could run free for hours.
Viggo held the reins lightly, knowing Uraeus would know his way.
It was not quiet, the sounds of the nighttime animals loud in the darkness. Still, Viggo couldn't remember the last time he was this at ease with everything. He didn't want to think about what it would be like later on; when the bright city life was all he would know, and there would be nothing for him to return to.
Instead, he thought about his life. The long winding path that had brought him here. It was all so clear to him now. Every mistake he'd made, every success. The joy, the pain.
Such strange emotions, so close together this moment that he couldn't separate them. The familiar joy of the strong movement underneath him, sadness of tomorrow and all the tomorrows after it.
To never have this again. It was inconceivable.
Uraeus let out a small whinny, bringing Viggo out of his thoughts. Squinting his eyes, Viggo realized they'd arrived at the familiar crossroads. He didn't know what was making Uraeus hesitate. They always took the road going North.
Slowing down, Uraeus whinnied again, tossing his head to the side, as if suggesting something.
Viggo stared straight ahead. He didn't believe this was happening. It was too unbelievable.
All this time, he'd known there was something special about Uraeus. He'd used that as an explanation every time his mind tried to tell him he was insane FOR loving this creature so much. Such devotion you gave to your wife, your children; you didn't waste it on a beast of burden.
He had never experienced it like this before. It had been a feeling, a few moments of shared knowledge. Not this clear message.
"You want to go that way?" Viggo didn't even feel idiotic asking that.
Uraeus took a step towards the unused path. Then he stopped. Craned his neck to glance at the man on his back.
Viggo patted his neck, the gesture not even conscious. The warm skin underneath his palm was so familiar. So full of life.
He knew they would have to turn back. There would be no time for a longer ride. It was late, riding in the darkness was not safe. There'd be light still in the barn, and he could spend the long hours of the night brushing Uraeus' coat, the way he liked it.
The reins slipped from his nerveless fingers.
Even if everything was all right, he shouldn't do this. He was too old for nocturnal excursions. Old and tired. Maybe not of body, but of mind.
"Go on, then." It was a whisper.
Uraeus didn't move.
Viggo wondered if he should step down. Walk a little. The woods had always brought him such peace. But would there be any such peace when Uraeus was gone?
He didn't know how he knew what the horse wanted. He simply did. It was as if the connection between them hummed with the need to be completely free for the last time.
It filled his mind as well; the wild desire to run, to feel the blood rush in his veins. Be one with the wilderness, no matter how awful and terrifying it was. There was beauty in that, something he had never experienced anywhere else.
Not with anyone else.
Smiling, he patted Uraeus again, not bothering to reach out for the reins. "Let's go then." His voice was strong, sure.
Uraeus let out a sound that made Viggo laugh. How could such a magnificent creature sound like a colt right now? Maybe it was the way to do this. With the eagerness to explore the unknown.
Not alone, but together. To hell with what he should do, he was not sending Uraeus on this journey alone.
Viggo leaned down. "Let's go."
And Uraeus turned from the wide road to the smaller path, heading towards the dark.
They would own the night, knowing nothing but the darkness surrounding them and each other.
It would be enough.
When the dawn finally broke, there was be an owerwhelming brightness reflecting from the raging river and a moment of utter exhilaration as the waters surrounded both of them after a plunge. Then there was a silence.
It was not an end of any kind. Only a beginning of yet another adventure together.
Next week the letter will be S, and the genre will be FPS, pretentious incest and written in a way that I really dislike in a fic I'm reading.
*more insane laughter*
Warning! Sugary and pompous death story. Also, horses. Well, a horse. But apparently they're good.
This week's letter is R and it's for 'Ride'.
Genre: RPF, death, smarm, can be read as beastiality if the reader is sick enough, but it's all about friendship really
Pairing: none, Viggo Mortensen, Uraeus (that would be the horse playing Brego), mentions of TJ (who played Hidalgo)
Viggo paused briefly at the door. It was chilly out here, but he didn't feel the wind. He simply stood in place, staring into the well lit barn.
For the first time ever, he was dreading going inside.
He remembered how it had been a few years ago, when TJ had died, when he had barely recognized his old companion. He'd known for a long time that the end would be coming, but until he'd been certain prolonging his life prolonged his suffering as well, he hadn't been able to tell the vet to put him to sleep.
It had been awful. Going there with the vet, holding TJ's face as he fell asleep. Sometimes that moment still followed him into his dreams.
But this was worse
The impatient whinny made him jolt out of his thoughts. Smiling a little, Viggo stepped inside. "Hi there, boy."
Uraeus let out a greeting huff like he always did upon seeing him. He seemed to be genuinely pleased.
That was always such a complete mystery to Viggo.
TJ had known him as well, but had also greeted everyone else. He'd bonded with one of the girls who'd come here to take the horses out every time Viggo was off for a shoot. Uraeus was different. He never paid attention to humans other than Viggo.
Patting his horse's nose gently, Viggo leaned against the wooden fence. He breathed in the familiar scent of hay and horse. This was what he missed the most when he was back in the city, the peace and calm. These days, he couldn't paint or write when he was away, finding it too distracting.
"How are you doing, big U?" The question was absent minded, as if Viggo simply wanted to hear his own voice.
Uraeus whinnied anyway. It had always been like this. The sound an answer to a language he couldn't possibly understand.
Sometimes Viggo wasn't sure about that. There had been moments during the years when he'd been certain Uraeus knew exactly what he said. The unnatural intelligence in the dark eyes still startled him whenever the horse looked at him.
Sighing, he leaned against the horse. "I am going to miss you." It came out as a whisper.
It was like last time. Back then, months of worrying and uncertainty had ended with a very cruel diagnosis. He had watched TJ waste away, feeling utterly helpless.
He couldn't do it this time.
The doctor had asked if he wanted him to stay, to take care of it now. The question had startled Viggo. It was so clinical, so calm.
As if they weren't talking about someone real. As if Uraeus was simply a thing he needed to get rid of. A nuisance that should be taken care of. He'd shook his head, anger and grief closing his throat.
There had been understanding in the doc's eyes.
Viggo felt the soft nose nuzzle against his neck and closed his eyes. He'd spent the evening in his room, staring at the wall. Feeling more lonely than ever. Old. His friends had teased him when Henry had presented him with his first grandchild, calling him grandpa and telling him he was supposed to get a rocking chair and retire now. He'd laughed then. He had never really felt old.
Now the thought made him want to cry.
"You know, don't you boy?" He muttered the words out, smiling faintly as the soft nose brushed against his ear. "You know how it feels to be old."
Uraeus let out a whinny. Unlike usual, there was no fire in the sound. It was almost as if he was agreeing with Viggo.
Moving back a little, Viggo stared at the unbelievably aware eyes, reading weariness there. He wondered for the thousandth time if Uraeus could really understand him the way he seemed to understand Uraeus perfectly.
He knew what would have to happen next. There was no real choice. Modern medicine couldn't help him. It was either to watch Uraeus suffer or call the vet back tomorrow morning.
He didn't know how he could do it, but he knew he had to. He couldn't stand back and watch this horse suffer. His friend, his companion.
But how could he live with himself after ordering his death?
The silence seemed to wrap around them. Viggo couldn't tear his gaze away from Uraeus' eyes, feeling more connected with him than ever.
He couldn't. But how could he do anything else?
What was there for him anyway? A career that couldn't go any further. There was nothing left to achieve. No challenge. He couldn't see the forms on the canvas anymore, silent worry and sorrow robbing that light from him. Words tasted like ashes.
Slowly, he took a step back, still staring into Uraeus' eyes. He felt cold immediately, as if the only warmth in his universe was right here. Reaching out with his hand without even thinking about what he was doing, he grabbed the reins from the peg.
"Ready for a ride?" he whispered.
He had thought about this back at the house, about a last ride with his friend. It had felt too painful back there, knowing he would never again do this with Uraeus again. Somehow he knew he wouldn't do this with any other horse either. No one could compare to his friend.
Uraeus let out a snort, holding still as Viggo worked on the reins and the saddle. He seemed to be eager to do this, unlike the past few days when he'd stood apathetically in his stall, looking at the world with pained eyes.
"Good boy." There was real pride in Viggo's voice as he walked his horse out of the barn. The air smelled of decaying leaves. The scent he always connected with death. "Good boy."
He mounted Uraeus slowly, not wanting to cause him any pain. He could see that he wasn't completely successful as Uraeus' strong muscles rippled right underneath his skin. The horse didn't make any sound, didn't move around nervously. It was as if he wanted this as well.
The darkness surrounded them as Uraeus walked to the familiar path amongst the trees. Neither needed light to know where they were going. They had done this hundreds of times during the past twenty years. The trail always started here. It would lead to the North, away from the perilous canyons and the river, to the hillside where they could run free for hours.
Viggo held the reins lightly, knowing Uraeus would know his way.
It was not quiet, the sounds of the nighttime animals loud in the darkness. Still, Viggo couldn't remember the last time he was this at ease with everything. He didn't want to think about what it would be like later on; when the bright city life was all he would know, and there would be nothing for him to return to.
Instead, he thought about his life. The long winding path that had brought him here. It was all so clear to him now. Every mistake he'd made, every success. The joy, the pain.
Such strange emotions, so close together this moment that he couldn't separate them. The familiar joy of the strong movement underneath him, sadness of tomorrow and all the tomorrows after it.
To never have this again. It was inconceivable.
Uraeus let out a small whinny, bringing Viggo out of his thoughts. Squinting his eyes, Viggo realized they'd arrived at the familiar crossroads. He didn't know what was making Uraeus hesitate. They always took the road going North.
Slowing down, Uraeus whinnied again, tossing his head to the side, as if suggesting something.
Viggo stared straight ahead. He didn't believe this was happening. It was too unbelievable.
All this time, he'd known there was something special about Uraeus. He'd used that as an explanation every time his mind tried to tell him he was insane FOR loving this creature so much. Such devotion you gave to your wife, your children; you didn't waste it on a beast of burden.
He had never experienced it like this before. It had been a feeling, a few moments of shared knowledge. Not this clear message.
"You want to go that way?" Viggo didn't even feel idiotic asking that.
Uraeus took a step towards the unused path. Then he stopped. Craned his neck to glance at the man on his back.
Viggo patted his neck, the gesture not even conscious. The warm skin underneath his palm was so familiar. So full of life.
He knew they would have to turn back. There would be no time for a longer ride. It was late, riding in the darkness was not safe. There'd be light still in the barn, and he could spend the long hours of the night brushing Uraeus' coat, the way he liked it.
The reins slipped from his nerveless fingers.
Even if everything was all right, he shouldn't do this. He was too old for nocturnal excursions. Old and tired. Maybe not of body, but of mind.
"Go on, then." It was a whisper.
Uraeus didn't move.
Viggo wondered if he should step down. Walk a little. The woods had always brought him such peace. But would there be any such peace when Uraeus was gone?
He didn't know how he knew what the horse wanted. He simply did. It was as if the connection between them hummed with the need to be completely free for the last time.
It filled his mind as well; the wild desire to run, to feel the blood rush in his veins. Be one with the wilderness, no matter how awful and terrifying it was. There was beauty in that, something he had never experienced anywhere else.
Not with anyone else.
Smiling, he patted Uraeus again, not bothering to reach out for the reins. "Let's go then." His voice was strong, sure.
Uraeus let out a sound that made Viggo laugh. How could such a magnificent creature sound like a colt right now? Maybe it was the way to do this. With the eagerness to explore the unknown.
Not alone, but together. To hell with what he should do, he was not sending Uraeus on this journey alone.
Viggo leaned down. "Let's go."
And Uraeus turned from the wide road to the smaller path, heading towards the dark.
They would own the night, knowing nothing but the darkness surrounding them and each other.
It would be enough.
When the dawn finally broke, there was be an owerwhelming brightness reflecting from the raging river and a moment of utter exhilaration as the waters surrounded both of them after a plunge. Then there was a silence.
It was not an end of any kind. Only a beginning of yet another adventure together.
Next week the letter will be S, and the genre will be FPS, pretentious incest and written in a way that I really dislike in a fic I'm reading.
*more insane laughter*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-04-21 11:06 am (UTC)I wrote a Viggo/Brego friendship type fic a long time ago... for my roommate, oddly enough... this made me think of that. 'cept this was better.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-21 11:14 am (UTC)Ooo! You should post that fic! More Viggo/horse stuff is good!
no subject
Date: 2005-04-22 04:39 am (UTC)I think it's even cuter now than the first time I read it.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-22 01:02 pm (UTC):D
Yeah, I'm so glad it's not gross.