sua_lay

Title: All Kinds of All Right
Author: Rimau Sua Lay
Rating: G (omg! G!), angst, if you squint, you could call it pre-slash
Fandom: The Dark Knight (Batman nolanverse)
Characters: Jim Gordon, Jimmy, Batman
Size: 16k (~2800 words)
Disclaimers: Not mine, borrowed without permission, am not making any money. Please don't sue.
Summary: There is one thing James Gordon should count on.

Betaed by my dear

wolfsbride and

ainaria. Thank you, dahlings!

All Kinds of All Right
by: Rimau Sua Lay

Jim Gordon turned the water off, staring at the lingering suds for a moment before grabbing the moist towel again to finally wipe his hands dry. The apartment was suddenly all too quiet, the running water and the clatter from the dishes masked the eerie feeling before; it was almost like he were alone, a weird premonition.

Leaning against the sink, he closed his eyes.

Now that he was concentrating, he could hear Barbara moving slowly around in the bedroom, the sound of her footsteps familiar on the floorboards. Probably the steady path from the closet to the bed, where she had spread the suitcases. He tried not to listen to it.

Little Babs was quiet, usually never fussing in her sleep. It had been different those first few days since Harvey's death, but then again, everything had been different back then. Gordon had hoped things would get better as time went by; when the nightmares would fade and it would all be just one memory among others, but it seemed that he'd been wrong.

He wasn't sure any amount of time would be able to wipe away the feeling of dread and pain; it was always there, hiding in all the things that were never said, lurking in the ever present shadows in Barbara's eyes. No matter how he tried, he couldn't fix things.

Not this time.

The problem wasn't work, though it had been simple to blame it for everything that was wrong between them before. It wasn't the long hours, or his dedication, or even his guilt for all the deaths he'd witnessed. He wasn't even certain what the problem was, though clearly something was causing his marriage to dissolve right before his eyes.

Funny, how even Barbara didn't seem to think it was his job anymore. He had to wonder what his choice would have been if she'd asked him to quit again. Maybe this time he would have at least thought about it, especially if he'd seen this coming. If he'd known that she'd actually want to take the kids to her parents for a long visit, one that sounded permanent even though she never said that.

He wanted to be mad at her for her decision, but there was no fire left in him for that. He could only stand back and watch his life unravel.

Sighing, he squeezed the towel in his hands like a lifeline, trying to wring answers from it.

"Jim?"

He almost jumped at the sound of his name, turning to see Barbara standing in the doorway. "Yes?" he asked carefully, hating the hesitant timbre in his voice.

She looked as tired as he felt, dark smudges under her eyes. "Have you seen Jimmy? I thought he'd gone to bed already, but..." She gestured with her hand.

"I think he went to take out the garbage." Not a rare occurrence these days. "But that was a while ago." Gordon could remember scrubbing the frying pan while Jimmy had grabbed the garbage bag and headed towards the door.

For just a moment, Barbara's expression changed, her mouth tightening into a line. He knew that look well, though he'd rarely seen it on his wife; it was the animal panic grabbing a person, the irrational fear that followed a serious scare.

"Don't worry. I bet he's out there talking with Bobby. You know how he forgets the time."

Barbara's posture relaxed minutely, and she nodded, as if realizing herself that she was slipping. "Maybe. Could you..."

"Yeah." Tossing the towel on the counter, he headed towards the door. "I'll go get him."

He knew she'd prefer to stay inside, near little Babs, just in case. Not that she'd ever say that out loud, or dissect the meaning. Just in case.

"Thank you," Barbara muttered, stepping aside as he walked past her, keeping her distance. The movement wasn't too obvious, but it was clearly conscious, like there was a barrier around her she didn't want disturbed.

He looked away, not wanting to cause her more pain by showing her how much it bothered him.

The door outside was open, the screen door still closed against the autumn evening. Gordon let out a sigh, wondering if his son really was out there talking to the boy next door or if he was sitting on the stairs with his flashlight, staring at the patterns the light made on the wall.

He hoped the stay at Barbara's parents would help Jimmy, the only reason this could actually be a good thing. There had been nightmares after Harvey, just like there had been with Babs, and there had been other after effects, irrational fears and worry, just like the department's shrink had suggested.

Gordon had been wary of the local doctors, uncomfortably reminded of Crane every time he'd talked with Barbara about the possibility of therapy. Maybe the stay upstate would help Jimmy sleep better, or at least make him trust his surroundings enough to let go of the flashlight he sometimes carried with him like a security blanket.

Hand reaching out for the screen door, he paused as he heard muttered words coming from the outside.

"Come on... Come on, please." it was Jimmy's voice. "See the light. Please! See the light."

Gordon froze. He could see even through the screen that his son was just out there, at the bottom of the stairs, waving his flashlight at the shadows above.

For a moment, Gordon listened to the anxious words, trying to figure out what Jimmy was doing. He didn't want to barge in; it would just make Jimmy feel like he was doing something wrong, make him clam up and hide like most of the times Gordon had tried to talk about his strange behavior.

Then the steady waving pattern the small light was weaving on the night sky made him understand, and Gordon let his hand drop from the door.

He stared at the light, noticing how it barely reached the rooftops, and wondered how he could go out there now. Of all the people in Gotham, only his family knew the truth, and he'd already tried to explain it to Jimmy, on countless occasions.

The boy needed his hero, even if the hero wouldn't answer his call, even if everyone around them condemned him.

"I can't just leave... Come on. Please! Please see the light..." Jimmy's words came fainter now, like he was already resigned to his fate. There was a catch in his voice, a tremble that usually meant he was trying very hard not to cry.

It was breaking Gordon's heart.

He reached out again, fingers brushing against the door. He couldn't stand listening to his son do this to himself.

"I'm here."

Gordon wasn't sure who was more shocked by the raspy voice; himself or Jimmy. At least he was able to hide it better, still standing inside the door, with no one to see him flinch. Jimmy on the other hand dropped the flashlight, apparently not caring when the light went out.

"Batman!" It was a hushed crow of relief. "You came!"

There was a sound of Batman's cape rustling, and then his voice came nearer, like he'd perched on the railing near the boy. "You called."

Gordon had to smile at that, remembering countless of times he'd stood on the roof up at the MCU near the huge lamp, waiting. Their mysterious ally even sounded the same now, like a little boy's flashlight was exactly the same as the floodlight with the rather stylized bat symbol calling out for him.

"I wanted to see you before we leave. Mom is taking Babs and me to see grandpa and grandma tomorrow."

"I see." Again, Batman's voice held no sign of emotion.

"Yeah." Jimmy sighed. "Mom says it's just for a while, and dad said it's a separation, but Bobby said Hannah Wilson's parents said the same and what they really meant was that they were getting a divorce."

The smile disappeared from Gordon's face. He'd thought they'd handled the situation well with the kids, making it as painless as possible, but he should have known Jimmy would see through all the explanations. Sometimes he forgot just how much he'd grown.

"Maybe your parents don't really know what they mean either."

Jimmy let out an agreeing sound. "Maybe. I don't know. But we're leaving anyway."

"And you don't want to leave?" Batman asked, though it wasn't really a question.

"No."

There was a long silence, broken only by the sound of sirens coming from the distance, seemingly a proper background to the moment.

"It's not that bad. I mean... Grandpa lets me help him with the car, and the Hendersons next door have a dog called Al and they let me walk him sometimes." It didn't even sound like Jimmy was forcing the cheer. "But if we go, dad will be here all alone."

Gordon swallowed against the tightness squeezing in his throat, leaning against the door frame.

He knew the move would be hard for the kids, but he'd thought about Jimmy worrying about leaving all his friends behind, probably worrying about school and not finding anyone to play with. It had never occurred to him that Jimmy would worry about him.

"What do you want me to do?" The raspy voice was steady, offering without hesitations, as if there was really something Batman could do in a situation like this.

"Can you look after my dad when we're gone?" Jimmy asked. He was clearly confident that his hero could do anything, even the impossible. "Make sure he's okay?"

"Oh Jimmy..." Gordon sighed, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. It was so like his son to ask this. He squinted his eyes, following Jimmy's gaze and catching a glimpse of the form perched just above them.

Batman cocked his head, as if he'd heard the softly muttered sigh, but didn't turn his attention away from Jimmy. "I'll look after your father. You have my word on that."

"Really?" Squealing, Jimmy bounced a little. "You will?"

"Yes." Batman appeared amused by the reaction to his promise. "He is a good man. I'll look after him."

It sounded like he meant it.

Gordon was glad he was hidden behind the screen. He reached up to rub the bridge of his nose, pushing up his glasses.

He wasn't surprised his son would place so much trust in their mysterious savior; he'd done the same from almost the beginning. Batman was something larger than life, the protector of Gotham, and in that capacity he would undoubtedly look after them all. Still, the way he answered to Jimmy's plea was almost too hard to bear.

"Thank you."

Batman nodded, not saying anything, and Gordon was glad he didn't tell Jimmy he didn't have to thank him. He doubted the boy would understand it, only puzzling on it later on.

There was a rustling sound as Batman stood up from where he was crouching, his cape billowing in the gentle Autumn breeze. He stood still for a moment, a darker shadow silhouetted against the evening sky.

"Batman?"

"Yes?" There was a faint echo to the word, like Batman was already half gone, melting into the darkness.

"I just... I never said thanks. For not letting me fall. You know. That night."

Gordon flinched. While he and Barbara had often tried to talk about that horrible night with Jimmy, this was the first time he'd ever heard him mention it on his own.

The shadows moved; Batman slid down from the railing and landed on the stairs with barely a sound. He stood in front of the boy, looking straight at him.

Jimmy wrapped his arms around his torso, shifting a little uncomfortably. "You saved us all," he added, sounding suddenly much younger. "'cause he was gonna shoot me and my dad."

"Your father saved you," came the reply immediately. "Everything that man did was wrong; he should never have targeted you."

"But he did. It was my fault..."

"No!"

For a moment Gordon didn't know which one of them had growled it out, but from the way neither Batman or Jimmy was moving, he could tell his vehement denial hadn't reached far.

"Not your fault, or your father's. You did nothing wrong." Batman crouched down, his face level with Jimmy's. "It was that man. Him alone."

Jimmy didn't say anything, just kept staring at Batman.

It was something Gordon had never known how to approach; how to explain such madness to a child, especially when he was still having doubts about the whole thing himself. Dent had lost his mind, but a part of Gordon could understand all too well why he'd come after him. He'd been too slow, had failed Rachel Dawes, just like he'd been unable to do anything when Commissioner Loeb had convulsed and died in his arms.

He had no words, no convincing lies to give.

Batman reached out with his hand, slow, as if unsure of his movement. He touched Jimmy's arm gently. "Trust me. It was not your fault."

Maybe it was the way his hero asked for his trust; Jimmy seemed to melt, leaning slightly against Batman's hand, almost as if he wanted to hug him but didn't think he should.

Gordon prayed to god it would be that easy, knowing it probably wasn't. But it was a beginning, something that they could build on, no matter where Jimmy lived and with whom.

He waited for a moment, and then pushed the screen door open silently, not wishing to startle anyone. Batman's gaze moved to him immediately, but without alarm, as if he'd known he was there all along. He didn't want to linger on that thought; everything having a heavier meaning if some of the words were not for Jimmy alone.

"Yeah. I guess."

Batman looked back to Jimmy, who seemed oblivious of anyone's presence but his. "It may not seem like that now, but it'll be okay." His lips twisted into a soft smile, the expression strangely vulnerable and alien on his masked face. "One day, it will be okay."

He moved so quickly Gordon could only see the blur of the cape. Craning his neck, he watched Batman disappear over the rooftops into the Gotham's darkening evening.

Turning his attention back to his son, he could see that Jimmy was still staring after Batman. He watched the boy for a while, trying to seal this moment into his memories.

Then he banged the door fully open. "Jimmy?"

"Whoa!" Jumping, Jimmy turned around, looking startled. "Dad."

Smiling, Gordon shook his head. "It's time to go to bed, son." He gestured with his hand, not at all surprised to have Jimmy bounce up the stairs to him and burrow against his side. The hug was brief but warm, full of emotion.

"Yeah. Okay." Jimmy walked inside, not looking behind. "Will you read to me?"

Gordon closed the doors behind him, turning the apartment into a safe haven for his family, even if only this one night. "Sure. After you..."

"... brush my teeth and get ready to bed," Jimmy finished the familiar sentence, grinning.

"That's right."

Watching Jimmy head towards the bathroom, Gordon went to turn off the lights from the kitchen, glad he had the moment to clear his mind.

He wished he could thank Batman for what he'd just done, knowing that any words of gratitude would be inadequate to express just how much it meant to him. He was too tired to think about his son's revelations and their implications now, but he knew that they had just taken the first steps towards that day when things really would be all right. Probably not the way Gordon had always thought they'd be, but maybe there were all kinds of all right, even some he'd never imagined before.

"Jim?"

Seeing Barbara appear at the bedroom door, he nodded towards the sounds coming from the bathroom. "He was out playing. I'll go and tuck him in."

"Good." Barbara didn't even try to mask her relief.

Walking past her, not looking at the packed suitcases near the bed, Gordon decided to concentrate on what was important right now; fishing Jimmy's pajamas from under the chair where they were usually crumpled on the floor. He'd read to him for a moment, about giant robot cars or boy wizards, whatever he chose this time, knowing it wouldn't take long for Jimmy to fall asleep.

He'd turn the small reading lamp off then, and sit there in the near darkness and watch his son sleep for a while.

All the rest could wait until tomorrow.

The End