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sua_layAuthor: Rimau Sua Lay
Rating: overall NC-17, Angst, Drama, Action/Adventure, First Time
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Harry/Snape, Ron/Draco, (Sirius/Remus)
Date: December 2002 - ?
Disclaimers: Not mine, borrowed without permission, am not making any money. Please don't sue. Sherbet Lemon?
Summary for Book Four: -Before you can go forward, you must face your past. Sins of the father may bury the son. Harry will find out if a dog really is the man's best friend.
Warning: This part contains deaths, gore, mention of het rape, explicit sex between men, disturbing themes, angst and a partridge in a pear tree.
The earlier parts of the fic can be found here.
Hogsmeade had always seemed like a busy little village every time Harry had been out there with the others from Hogwarts, but it was beginning to look like a real town these days.
Looking around the big room, taking in the smell of still fresh paint, Harry wondered how on earth had they managed to build this place so fast even using magic. The project had been managed mostly by Dumbledore and Flitwick, but even with their combined talents, it should have taken longer.
Not that he was complaining. Having a place for the Order was a good thing, allowing them to finally take action instead of the endless talking.
With the headquarters finished and people gathering here, they would start training. It was still early, with only a handful of witches and wizards roaming through the hallways, but soon enough they would all come here to learn. To train in things that wouldn't be easy for anyone.
Exploring the other parts of the building would have to wait, the offices, big meeting halls and even the mess hall would come in secondary. Talking about the war was not as important as training was; it would all begin right here.
This place reminded Harry of the gymnasium in the Muggle school he'd attended before Hogwarts. Even the atmosphere was familiar, people milling around and waiting for instructions, their footsteps echoing in the vast room.
"This certainly brings back memories." Ron hopped on the raised platform, staring at the ornaments on the floor. "Remember how Snape kicked Lockhart's arse in the dueling club? That was so cool!" One of his most cherished memories.
Harry couldn't help grinning at that. Yes, he did remember that. It had been the highlight of his second year, the first time ever he had actually felt something else than resentment towards his Potions professor. It hadn't lasted for long, but there had been that moment of utter glee.
He didn't get to say anything as a voice rang out from behind him. "How delightful to hear such praise from you, Mr. Weasley. I may not survive the shock."
"Oh shi... Er... Good morning, sir." Ron's face went beet red as he stared at Snape. Why did that git always have to appear when he was saying something about him?
Snape cast a knowing look at him, and then looked at Harry and Hermione. "Miss Granger. Potter." The greeting was accompanied by a nod.
"Good morning, professor," Hermione said, feeling sorry for the way Ron was still squirming. Of course it was kind of his own fault, but she felt sorry for him anyway.
Harry's gaze brightened. "Good morning, Snape." His whole body twitched with the urge to go to the man. With some effort, he controlled himself, seeing that there were people behind Snape. He did notice there was a very knowing glint in Snape's eyes as the man stepped further in to the room, allowing the others to enter as well.
The room felt warmer with the familiar people all around. Harry felt himself relax slightly. It was good to see everyone again, even with Sirius absent from the crowd.
It hadn't been easy to convince the man to stay behind, but the possibility that there would be Ministry people coming to see their first training session had been a reason enough to keep Sirius from joining them.
Still, Harry was half expecting to see the familiar dog skulk in the corners any moment now.
He was glad they had come here this early. This was definitely not going to be fun, and he wanted to get prepared to facing a crowd once again.
Since it wasn't exactly a good idea to try to hide from everything by focusing on a certain Potions master all the time and Hermione was pointing out something to Ron and talking entusiastically, Harry looked around, trying to figure out what to do.
Ignoring the very cheery expression on Terry Boot, he simply nodded at him before looking away. Sometimes he really couldn't deal with overly happy people.
His gaze moved over a small crowd, taking in some of the teachers and Arabella Figg who promptly winked at him. Feeling slightly better, he noticed that Malfoy had followed them here as well. He was standing in a corner, with a haughty expression on his face.
Harry walked to Malfoy, trying to make it look casual. He hadn't had a chance to talk to him since he had told him the truth about Voldemort. Every time they bumped into each other home, Malfoy walked away.
Of course it could be because of that thing with the kitchen table. Somehow he doubted that, though. He'd never seen Malfoy as someone who had qualms about sex.
"This really brings back memories, doesn't it?"
He knew Malfoy would know what he meant, the dueling club was something neither would be able to forget. The memory was not especially pleasant, but it was one of the least painful they shared.
"Yes, it does." A slight smile flickered on Draco's face. "Too bad Snape interfered with our fight. Otherwise it would have been even more interesting."
It was clear what he meant by that. The challenge was obvious.
To his utter surprise, Harry found himself laughing at that. No matter what happened, Malfoy never changed. Arrogant bastard! He realized he rather liked that.
Whatever else, it was honest.
He watched shock appear on Malfoy's face, chased away by honest amusement. It seemed like he wasn't brooding over the big revelation anymore. That was good, for Harry was beginning to realize that the Order would indeed need him and his expertise.
Keeping that in mind, Harry said, "Yes. You would have spent an interesting evening at the infirmary with a bruised backside." He knew it was an empty boast. If they had continued the duel, it would have been him suffering from bruises, not Malfoy.
They both knew that.
Draco raised an eyebrow. He was still amazed that Potter wasn't mocking him for his beliefs. He'd expected at least a veiled comment, or a warning to stay away from Weasley. There weren't any. Only this.
He didn't know if it was a reply to his challenge, but that was as good an interpretation as any. "Indeed? You must have hit your head harder that day than I thought. I believe it would have been you coddled by Madam Pomfrey that night."
The air between them was sizzling with expectation, both knowing perfectly well where this would lead, both enjoying it immensely. This was simple. No hidden tension swirling between them.
Harry knew there was still time before their training session would begin, and this would be a good way to relax.
Being able to finally do something was good, but he was still nervous about his role in this. He was essentially being forced to address another crowd, his role even more clearly one of a leader than previously, and it was making his stomach cramp.
A duel would be simple, familiar. Those evenings he'd sparred against Figg or sometimes even Dumbledore had always cleared his head. The nights following had been spent sleeping instead of angsting.
He made a small gesture at the platform. "Care for a rematch then?"
"Why not?" Nodding eagerly, Draco pulled out his wand.
"Harry?" Seeing the way Malfoy was pointing at his friend with his wand, Ron sauntered closer to them. "Is everything all right here?" He cast a worried look at Malfoy as well. The git had been awfully quiet the past few days, if he didn't count the very persistent moaning and begging he was really trying to forget already.
Not that he really cared. But he was concerned anyway.
"Everything's fine. Malfoy and I are going to spar a little, that's all."
That didn't exactly make Ron relax. He looked even more worried as the two of them hopped on the platform. This was not a good idea.
"What's going on?" Hermione asked, stepping next to her friend. She could read the tension in Ron, wondering what this was all about. She didn't have to wonder for long. Even as Ron leaned closer to explain, Harry's voice rang in the room, telling everyone they were about to test the arena.
Hermione had to agree with Ron. This was probably one of the silliest things she'd seen for a while.
Unable to stop smirking, Draco stood up on the platform, waiting for Potter to take the offense. He was willing to give him the first strike but that was about the only courtesy he'd get.
As if on cue, Potter flung a feeble jelly-legs jinx at him. It was easy to brush it off. Draco threw a disaming charm at him, almost sighing as Potter barely managed to shield himself against it and then promptly stumbled on his own robes.
This would not last for long.
People gathered closer to the walkway to watch the fight. Muttering quietly, Figg was pointing out something to Fletcher, who nodded every once in a while. Remus had a soft smile on his lips. He was glad Sirius wasn't here, for he would have undoubtedly attacked Malfoy by now, seeing the way Harry was faltering.
"This doesn't look good," Hermione whispered, as Harry was almost hit by another curse. She could see him try, but it was obviously not enough against Malfoy's skill.
Next to her, Ron nodded. He'd known Harry wasn't really that good at defense. There had been enough DADA classes where he'd seen Harry's enthusiasm over learning to fight dwindling a few years back, after the Death Eaters had almost killed them all.
Ron had never understood that. If anything, Harry should have wanted to learn more, like he had. All his own skills in dueling came from that fall, his sixth year, and even those skills weren't great or anything, they were obviously better than Harry's.
Sure, Harry was good with theory, but he was a dismal duelist.
Fear creeping slowly into his mind, he wondered how Harry could have survived any attack. It was a miracle he'd managed to kill any of those Death Eaters.
He was clumsy. Hesitating before saying out the curses so weakly they wouldn't have done much harm even if they had hit Malfoy.
Groaning, Ron watched as the duel went on. Harry was so going to lose, and he could bet that Malfoy would be intolerable about the whole thing later on, smirking smugly even if he didn't actually say anything.
Snape squinted his eyes as he heard the way Harry mumbled out yet another charm. Horn tongue? That was ridiculous!
He hadn't seen Harry fight a controlled duel since the dismal failure of the dueling club years earlier. There had been such fire in him back then, anger and determination. There was nothing like that in him now, almost looking like Harry was holding the wand for the first time ever.
A very faint smile flickered on Snape's lips for just a second before disappearing. He'd always known Harry was too theatrical for his own good, but this was prepostrous.
The reports in their long meetings had always been meticulously detailed, Harry recounting his encounters with the Death Eaters with blank voice, describing his actions to the chosen few. Those fights had been real.
Not like the farce before his eyes.
Draco Malfoy had always loved games, but he didn't seem to recognize this as one. It didn't surprise Snape. He knew how people mistook the eagerness in Harry's eyes for stupidity, Merlin knew he'd thought that for a long time. Not anymore.
Another smile threatened him as Malfoy's disarming charm made Harry stumble again. This time he couldn't regain his balance and fell flat on his face, his wand still held in a firm grip.
The silence in the room was shocked.
For a casual watcher, the fight seemed to be over. Years of witnessing battles like this had honed Snape's perception, though. He was keeping his gaze on Harry's slumped form, seeing the ragged breathing and the shaking shoulders as what they really were, a deception to lull his adversary into believing he was harmless.
"You want to yield?" Keeping his wand pointed at Potter's direction, Draco smiled slightly. He couldn't keep his triumph out of his voice, even though winning this whole thing so easily was not good.
His father and his people saw Harry Potter as their most important target. He'd hoped the annoying Gryffindor would prove to be a difficult one to kill, one who couldn't be beaten by simple hexes.
Now here he was, kneeling on the ground utterly defeated, and Draco hadn't even thrown any of the Unforgivables at him.
Harry drew in a shuddering breath. Then he looked up, his expression calm, eyes bright as he stared at Draco. "Yielding to such an incompetent foe would be rather embarrassing, don't you think?" His hand that had seemed too weak to hold his wand snapped up. "Conjunctivito!"
Eyes losing focus, Malfoy staggered back. Burning tears pooled down his cheeks as he cast the protective charm around his eyes. He cursed himself as his sight returned to normal and saw Potter standing there, smiling.
Sneaky bastard.
He didn't waste any time gawking at Potter. It was clear this was far from over. "Incendio!" Aiming the fire charm at Harry's wand, Draco dove to the left as he saw the flick of the wrist deflecting it and then bouncing the charm back. Realizing the charm had barely missed his hair, he growled, and cast another curse.
Harry smiled wider as the fight became more real. This was only a spar, but he never believed in doing things sloppily. Unless it was Divinations homework.
Knowing all too well that Malfoy knew more about Dark Arts than someone his age should, he hurled hexes at him without much fear that he'd actually hurt him.
Neither paid any attention on the people already at the gym gathering around the arena to gawk at them.
Ron was staring at Harry with his mouth open. He couldn't believe what he'd just witnessed. First, it had looked like every other time Harry had dueled with other wizards, the clumsiness and the hesitation reminding him of Lockhart somehow.
Malfoy's sneer had been predictable, just like the triumphant look on his face.
Then something had happened. Harry, his cool friend Harry had shrugged once, as if throwing his Invisibility Cloak off. Instead of cowering in front of that damn Malfoy, he was now fighting back.
Fighting back, and obviously winning.
It was strange to watch the duel. Snape kept his eyes on Harry, already familiar with Malfoy's fighting skills. This was fascinating. He'd heard about the times Harry had fought Death Eaters, both from Lucius and his cohorts and the boy himself, so he wasn't exactly stunned to see that he could actually fight.
He was surprised by the calm mannerism with which the boy fought, never giving into the battle rage. That would probably come later, when it was for real.
The moves Harry used reminded him of things past. Some of the hexes were obviously taught to him by Arabella, who was famous for using people's weaknesses against them. The acrobatics probably came from Quidditch practice. The complete ruthlessness reminded him of Albus and the hard look that sometimes replaced the twinkle, revealing a man who would do anything for the cause he deemed just.
Snape watched, realizing that Harry was right. He wasn't exactly a child anymore. This wasn't the display of a petulant teenager, even though it was clear from the way his green eyes gleamed that he was enjoying the opportunity of showing Malfoy his place. His actions were precisely measured, not simply reacting to the situation, but actually well thought out. Amazing.
It made Snape wonder just when had this happened. To grow up and face the responsibilities of his actions was something most wizards never even thought about before leaving Hogwarts. Some didn't bother afterwise either.
He had never been asked to train Harry in fights like this and for some reason he was grateful of that. With his duties as a Potions master and his old spying routine, it would have exhausted him. Harry hadn't needed an old Death Eater to teach him the dark curses. Arabella had been able to do that on her own, of that he was sure.
Twirling around, barely keeping his balance, Draco hissed out a disarming curse, knowing it wouldn't work. Potter was too good at this, countering every charm he could remember, every single hex and curse they had taught at school, and even the ones that had never been used by the goody-goody teachers.
His mind was a whirlwind of rage, blood pounding in his ears. He could not let Potter win, not with Snape and Weasley and all the others watching.
"Damn you!" It wasn't a magical curse, but it came straight from his heart. He hated losing. It was the first thing he'd ever been taught, one that his father had reminded him every single time they met. He could never afford to lose. "Cruci..."
"Expelliarmus!"
"Petrificus Totalis!"
The two charms were cast simultaneously, both hitting Malfoy before he could finish his own. His wand flew to the ground, his body following a moment later, making a dull thumping sound as he lay there stiffly, like he'd just been turned into a statue.
Snape kept his wand aimed at the boy. It was just an instinct; he didn't believe Malfoy could actually break the charm.
An instinct like coming to Harry's aid, something he wasn't going to examine too closely.
"Not bad." Walking slowly towards Malfoy, Harry smiled. "You lost it there at the end, though. Anger just makes you blunder, Malfoy. It can get you killed."
There was both anger and curiosity in Draco's gaze. He'd thought Potter would gloat, but this sounded like a simple advice.
"Finite Incantatem." With a flick of his wand, Harry released his opponent from the body bind and then held out his hand to help him up. "Wanna try it again?" He sounded exhilarated.
Draco had to blink at that. Not many people would be like that after almost being cursed with excruciating pain. He realized he was grinning back at Potter. "Sure."
The room was full of excited babble as the older Order members commented on the fight. Snape moved back into the shadows, shoving his wand under his robes with an angry gesture. The charm had been instinctive; to protect Harry Potter, like he always did.
He was just glad the crowd was more focused on Harry and Malfoy than on his actions.
Before Harry could move back into position again, Hermione and Ron got to him, both completely stunned.
"That was incredible!" It was the only comment Hermione managed to get out.
"I didn't know you could do that!" Ron exclaimed, still looking overwhelmed. He was a little in awe with Harry. That fight had been totally cool!
Harry shrugged. "It's a way to protect people." He didn't want to make a big deal out of it, for it really was mostly for show. He could fight off a fairly competant adversary in a single combat. Facing more than one, he would not last long.
Sometimes he wondered if any of his friends understood it. This war wouldn't be about facing the enemy like they were in a dueling club. The fights wouldn't be fair, the Death Eaters would come, and they never came alone.
His coordination wasn't good enough for such fights. A small smile flickered on his lips as he realized what Snape would undoubtedly say to him later on about details. He could concentrate well on one opponent, but more than one was a distraction.
Kind of like the large crowd of people now entering the room.
Now that this wasn't just about his friends and a couple of familiar teachers, Harry shoved his wand inside his robes, not wanting to exercise more. He didn't want to make it seem like he was showing off, not really.
Even though it had been rather fun.
Watching people mill around reminded him of the endless days they'd already spent doing absolutely nothing of importance at Hogwarts. He could see that almost everyone seemed to be marveling at the building itself; walking in and out of the training hall, probably going for a tour around the huge house.
He could see some people were making comments about the dueling platforms and other markings that showed the true purpose of the hall. It was good to see that at least the older members of the Order seemed to realize exactly why they were here.
Arabella seemed to be already organizing something at the other side of the room, and Harry couldn't help smiling as he saw two younger Hufflepuffs try out a few simple curses on each other.
Apparently he wasn't the only one getting really annoyed by the waste of time.
Harry didn't want to seem overly assertive and start making noise and giving orders. He was waiting, even though he had no idea what he was waiting for. Dumbledore had made it painfully clear that he was not going to show up here today.
He knew that the reluctance to actually take charge of anything was a huge flaw, but he couldn't bring himself to actually stand here and order people around.
More people were now moving around and pairing off, trying simple charms on each other and moving clumsily away from whatever others were throwing at them.
It looked like a group of first years waiting to be sorted. Harry could see the excitement shining on most faces, people laughing and talking as if this was just another exercise, an amusement to break the boring routine of talking about housing.
This didn't even look like a dueling club, for at least then everyone had been prepared and actually paid attention.
Harry could see disapproval on those who had already fought one war and couldn't blame them. This was stupid. Playing around and calling it a training session might be exactly what most people wanted this to be, but that would simply get all of them dead.
He had to wonder if people would stop talking and laughing and flinging useless charms at each other even if he jumped back on the platform and told them what fighting really was.
Words alone would probably fail.
He looked to the left, seeing Malfoy standing there with an expression of smug superiority on his face. For once he didn't hate the expression. "Malfoy?"
"Yes?" Raising an eyebrow, Draco turned to look at Potter. "Entertaining, isn't it?"
"I know a few other words I might use..." Harry muttered. "I was wondering if you'd care to spar with me again." He gestured at the raised arena, trying really hard to ignore the two witches standing nearby and sending tickling charms at each other.
Draco wasn't surprised by the question. He'd seen the annoyance on Potter's face, the same emotion that manifested as an evil smirk on his own. "Of course." It was about time.
There were soft mutters and stares as they climbed back to the main arena, people turning to see what was happening. As soon as they realized that something was indeed going on, they started moving closer to the platform, eyes shining with anticipation.
It wasn't too hard to figure out what was going to happen next.
"Oh and Malfoy?" Before taking his place on the other side of the platform, Harry muttered, "As far as I'm concerned, there is only one Unforgivable that we can never use in this room."
That melted the smirk off Malfoy's face, but it was replaced by dark amusement instead of fear. It was kind of what Harry had expected to see.
Moving to face each other again, Harry and Draco held their wands in front of them. Not poised for an attack, but ready to lift any moment.
"People, may I have your attention, please!" There was already a silence, occasionally broken by a muffled giggle. Harry waited until the blonde witch who was still doubling over with laughter got herself under control before continuing. "Malfoy here has kindly agreed to spar with me. Again."
There were a few catcalls from his yearmates.
"Since we have both agreed to this, it's important that everyone puts down their wands and allow us to do this in peace. No interruptions, no matter what."
Seeing people nod, he glanced at the far end of the room, meeting the dark gaze for a moment. He didn't have to say anything else; Snape seemed to understand that the words had meant him as well.
"Ready?" He glanced at Malfoy.
Draco didn't even bother to reply. With a swish and flick of his wand, he sent a simple levitation charm at Potter, rolling his eyes as their audience let out an awed sigh.
There had to be lots of Hufflepuffs in here.
Both of them continued the duel slowly. Harry wanted to teach a lesson no one in the room would forget. To Draco, this was a very good opportunity to show off. He'd always been theatrical and enjoyed the way people looked at him with awe in their eyes.
It was better than the open hostility he usually encountered these days.
Flicking his wand almost negligently, casting aside yet another fire charm, Harry smirked and declared, "Serpensortia!" Like the last time that charm had been used in front of an audience, there were loud gasps and startled exclamations coming from around him. Some of those who'd been present at Lockhart's unforgettable dueling club laughed out loud.
On the floor, a large snake uncoiled and hissed angrily.
"Vipera evanesca!" Draco's smirk was the mirror image of the expression on Harry's face. He was astonished at how much he enjoyed this.
Even before the snake disappeared in golden sparks, the next curses were already flying across the room.
Various fire charms, from the most innocent that would simply heat the other one's wand so they'd drop it to ones that would burst people into flames. Illusions. Harry even threw a charm that would make one's bones disappear at Malfoy, figuring that since they were already strolling down the memory lane, he might as well use it as his advantage.
To his disappointment, it didn't hit.
Both young men seemed equal, neither gaining the upper hand in the duel. They had already used most of the regular charms and curses. Throwing curses as fast as he could, Harry knew that the next one flung at him would quite probably be one that most people in the room would never use.
He would have to talk with Malfoy about the way he squinted his eyes. It gave him away every time, allowing him plenty of time to dodge.
"Crucio!" With a flick of his wrist, Draco sent the curse towards Potter. Then he repeated the word, aiming to the left, knowing by now that it was where Potter liked to jump to evade the curses.
The room filled with shocked babble. People were staring at Draco with eyes wide with terror. A moment later the shock turned into silent dismay as Harry responded to the curse with one of his own, hurling the possibility of unimaginable pain at the blond Slytherin.
Now there were no other sounds in the room. People had barely had the time to register that someone amongst them was using an Unforgivable. Now they were witnessing their great hero using the same curse.
It was unbelievable.
Keeping his attention on Malfoy, Harry flung another curse at him, wondering just exactly how many dark curses he knew. They'd have to talk about it sooner or later. Maybe it would be a good idea to ask him to train some of these people. Harry wouldn't say it out loud, but they both knew that Malfoy had been trained to be the ideal Death Eater as well as the heir of the Malfoy house. He would be well versed in all the things their Order would encounter.
Sparks of blue and silver were flying all around them, some of the simpler curses manifesting in brightness that was almost beautiful. If they hit anyone, the result would be far from nice, though.
Sweat was running down Harry's back. This was invigorating. Malfoy was definitely not holding back or making allowances because of his fame. If anything, he seemed to be determined to win this.
Harry knew that this time he had to defeat him all on his own. Snape wouldn't interfere and neither would any of the other older Order members who were standing in a group near the wall and lookig apprehensive. This was his lesson, and he was about to make sure it would be remembered.
Waiting for Malfoy to finish with his muttered curse and deflecting it, he ground out, "Imperio!" He knew exactly where to aim and the amount of determination he had to put behind the command.
Malfoy froze.
In the eerie silence of the room, people stared at the blond young man as he stood there, his wand already raised for the next curse. Malfoy didn't move for a moment, simply stood there, staring at Harry. Then he lowered his wand slowly on the floor, sitting down next to it a moment later, looking like he was calmly waiting for further instructions.
Harry looked around him, his expression grim. "If you want to practice tickling charms or simple disarming curses, I suggest you all do it on your own time." He walked to Malfoy, once again helping him up after releasing him from his hold. Smiling slightly, he said, "Good fight."
"Could have been better." Showing neither amusement nor annoyance, Draco brushed his pantlegs with his palm. The floor definitely needed dusting, there was sawdust all over his trousers.
There was a knowing glint in Harry's eyes as he nodded. "Probably, yes."
People were starting to whisper to each other, all shocked by the fight they had just seen. The older Order members made comments about the fighting style, ignoring the use of forbidden and highly dubious curses.
Still standing in the shadows, Snape simply watched.
"All right. Settle down." It was said quietly, but everyone stopped talking anyway. Harry made a slight gesture with his hand, pointing at the older witches and wizards who were still standing as a tight group. "I'd like to introduce you to your teachers. Arabella Figg is here to teach you curses and charms. Mundungus Fletcher will help you with defensive moves."
Figg waved cheerily, still amused by the little show her old student had put on. She'd always thought Harry Potter had an evil streak in him. Next to her, Fletcher simply nodded.
Harry turned to the left, staring into the shadowy corner. "You all know professor Snape. He will teach you defense against dark curses." Pausing for a moment to nod at Snape, he added, "He will also teach you how to use some of those curses."
The nervous mutters were exactly what Harry had expected. Most people in the room looked absolutely horrified.
Not wanting to give anyone time to panic, he turned to where Remus was standing, looking strange without the black dog looming near by, he went on, "And this is professor Lupin, who will teach you about defense against dark creatures. We expect there to be many working for Voldemort. I'd suggest you study your old books before attending his classes. Know your basics, people."
Nervous tittering followed his words, as well as groans from those who had left the school only weeks ago. Just as they'd finished studying for N.E.W.T.s, they had to do this. It just wasn't fair.
Harry was feeling uncomfortable standing here. He would have much rather stayed in the background, but since Dumbledore had asked him to start these classes, he had to obey. After all, he was a member of the Order and not above anyone else. If he was assigned to this, he was going to do his work well.
Deciding it was about time for him to leave, he put his wand under his robes. With one last look at everyone, he said, "When you go out there, you'll be facing people who have no problems using curses against you. They will hex you with anything, and they will definitely be using the Unforgivables. No one will be forced to use them here in class, but I think you should be prepared. So learn the curses, all of them. And practice those you can."
With that, he walked out of the room. He saw how everyone stepped to the side to give him a clear exit, and sighed. The shocked awe and giving way to him was better than the suffocating touching and crowding, but he had the sinking feeling that this too would be utter hell.
Harry Potter, the living legend, showing his troops how to maim or kill others. He knew it was the only way to keep people alive, but he didn't enjoy it. The press would undoubtedly hear about today, and there would be even more articles, more speculations and wonder.
He steeled himself, walking out of the room with head held high. So this was totally unfair and he hated it, he still had a part to play in this war and by now it was painfully obvious that no one else was going to make these decisions in his stead.
The reporters could go and hang themselves. Any Ministry official who cowered behind a desk and then disapproved of him could do the same.
He tried not to notice the way Dean and Seamus seemed pretty hyped or how Terry Boot was staring at him with something akin to horror. He simply walked out of the room.
"Potter!"
The usual sneer in the voice came as a relief as Harry turned around to face Snape. He looked past the man at the huge doors that were now blocking the way to the practicing room, for an insane moment wondering what would happen if he ran to Snape and crawled inside his robes.
He didn't think it would be wise to risk it. "Yes?"
Snape's gaze was blank. "It's not every day you manage to surprise me, Potter." There was open approval in his voice.
"I know." Smiling slightly, Harry nodded. "We did some extra practicing with Arabella last fall." They had scheduled some basic training for everyone in the Order, but by necessity, his had been a bit more than that.
Not even bothering to say that it wasn't exactly what he'd meant, Snape simply raised an eyebrow.
Harry let the smile fade away. "But yeah. That." He ran his hand across his face. "It was... I don't know. Fighting Malfoy was fun, but the rest of it..." He didn't know a word to describe it. "Sometimes I do wonder if I'm doing it right after all." Unfortunately there was no guidebook on how to be the great hero.
He knew almost everyone would expect him to just miraculously defeat Voldemort with some pure good magic, but he knew no 'good' charms that would keep him alive while facing Unforgivables. Maybe it wasn't about legends and heroes but simply about surviving and keeping others alive.
That he could do. At least he hoped so.
"I'm certain someone will tell you when you're doing it wrong." There was just enough harshness in Snape's voice to indicate that he would definitely be that someone.
"That would be appreciated." Harry doubted anyone else would really criticize him openly. Even though Arabella had been a stern teacher, she'd only focused on the concrete aspects of hexing and fighting and no one else had ever commented on how he acted under duress.
Dumbledore was the only man who would even think about guiding him, and Harry had noticed how he was keeping his distance these days.
He was on his own now, pushed to the center stage of this insane play even though he sometimes had no idea what he was doing. It was a relief that at least Snape remained the same. The cutting comments he was bound to make sooner or later wouldn't be a nuisance.
They might well be the very thing that would keep him alive in battle.
But he didn't want to think of Snape just as an ally or a teacher. That in mind, he muttered. "I... I will come over to Hogwarts tomorrow morning. To see Dumbledore." Their last big meeting at the school. Harry kept his gaze on Snape's. "I was thinking we could have lunch together afterwards."
Snape let out a snort. He knew exactly where such an luncheon would lead. "You know where to find me."
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Date: 2006-11-14 10:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-15 10:12 pm (UTC)I love this fic. For the last three days I've read for hours on end (any time not needed for studying or class, basically), and I still love it. I've been wanting to smack Ron a bit, but other than that.. *hearts*
Snape is fabulous, the story is fabulous, and I really can't wait 20 days for the rest.
Thank you for writing!
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Date: 2006-11-16 09:39 pm (UTC)*deep*
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Date: 2006-11-16 09:44 pm (UTC):D Thank you! I try not to make Ron too annoying (he's just young! so very young!) but yeah, sometimes I want to smack him too. And yeah, Snape is adorable.
Er... 20 days and then some. Fifth book still in writing (even though yes, I do know what will happen, I'm just trying to work on the fic and my thesis at the same time... yes, I'm an idiot)... But don't worry, will definitly keep scribbling.....